RenegadeLost Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Hey everyone, was just wondering if anyone has tried this method, after a long period of NC or even to send on a holiday or whatever as a gift? Not a presentation grovelling for another chance, but moreso just pictures of all the good times you were together, or of various places you visted, private jokes, etc to a backdrop of music that you both enjoyed to hit them on a more emotional level kind of saying, "thanks for the memories." It may even be a good way to "let go" for a final time, and thank them if the relationship was overall a good one. Or maybe, even a way to show them that you care about them if they think you didn't which was one of the reasons for the split? Just curious if anyone has tried this, or any other thoughts about it.
Calico Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 If I dumped someone and they did this, I'd feel that they are very desperate and in denial. It would probably make me sad, but also annoy me and push me farther away. t's just another, more elaborate form of projecting your feelings on someone who is "done" with you. It's bound to come across as begging and clinging. As for this method helping to let go? It's probably as helpful as an alcoholic deciding to have two final bottles of vodka to make it easier to stop drinking. Makes sense to the addicted brain, but doesn't make actual sense. If you let go, you let go. You don't do MORE things that have "not letting go" written over them. 1
TopCat22 Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Doesn't sound like a good idea to me. It might seem either manipulative or just downright needy. I see where you're going with it, but I don't think it would be the way to go. People are quite savvy about when you're trying to mess with their heads.
Mike_d Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Desparate, somewhat whiny, and 100% emotionally manipulative. Don't do this
geegirl Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 As a woman, I would find it unattractive. It reeks desperation. You're viewing this from an emotional mindset and projecting that nostalgia on her. When the other person has detached or feels indifferent, the response will be quite the opposite of what you hope for.
CarrieT Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Ironic that you brought this up... It happened to a girlfriend of mine; she and her Ex went through multiple break-ups (he had a high-powered job and couldn't devote enough time to the relationship). When she finally called it quits for good, he prepared a VERY elaborate PowerPoint presentation on their history and why they should get back together. She thought it was a last-ditch effort to get her back and was a pathetic attempt of desperation...
Svet74 Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 where did you come up with that? Ive tried returning a necklace back to my ex to finally show him that i was serious about it being over. He didnt like that, told me to throw it away and said i was being too emotional and that he wanted to keep staying in touch. anyhow that didnt work. SO i just let it all go feeling better then ever. Showing them your happy and moved on is the best thing to do
Author RenegadeLost Posted September 28, 2012 Author Posted September 28, 2012 The results are unanimous! Thanks for the input everyone. The idea just popped into my head because of that google chrome commercial called "coffee"..its on youtube if you havent seen it, about a guy trying to win back his old flame. The problem with the video, is that he puts ALL of the blame on himself like a scapegoat. I can see how it would be manipulative and needy..thanks everyone!
LostOne1 Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 The results are unanimous! Thanks for the input everyone. The idea just popped into my head because of that google chrome commercial called "coffee"..its on youtube if you havent seen it, about a guy trying to win back his old flame. The problem with the video, is that he puts ALL of the blame on himself like a scapegoat. I can see how it would be manipulative and needy..thanks everyone! This woulda been good to do while in the relationship or if there are signs that show the relationship needs a spark. I wish I had done this while me and my ex were together. Maybe an idea to keep for next time in the future. But to get her back man... there is nothing you can do. go NC and just try to move on. I've been NC for 30+ days and well I did contact her 1 last time. I've just accepted that it's over now. Otherwise she would have contacted me and reached out to talk. Since she hasn't done that.. it means she's over me or just doesn't feel the same way. Why would someone want someone back, if they person doesn't feel the same way. Imagine ur ex seeing you and treating you like a stranger or rudely. Would you still want her back? I'm sure seeing the change would make you realize and feel that this is NOT the same person. Almost as if you see them, but they are a twin or a clone and don't have those feelings. TO convince myself lately, I saw a tv show. a couple has an accident, both lose their memories. Their families hate each other and take their kids back and remove any evidence of their marriage existing. So 1 year later after the accident, they still have NO memory of being married and live single lives in their parents own homes. Just goes to show.. you just gotta pretend you lost your memory. You don't remember the past. ironically in the show the 2 do meet up unexpectedly and become enemies over a small fight in public lol...
Lisa_Lisa Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 I was just gonna say, 'did you see that commercial?'
geegirl Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 google chrome commercial called "coffee"..its on youtube if you havent seen it, about a guy trying to win back his old flame. I remember that. It was pretty cute, but what's the saying..."only in the movies!" Mark Potter. Hope he had that cup of coffee.
JayL Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 (edited) Doing this will give her another reason to feel good why she let go of you. It reeks desperation and it makes you look like a psycho creep maniac. It's been over for awhile and you still have it in your mind. You may think it's sweet, but in reality, it's scary. Edited September 28, 2012 by JayL
Sugarkane Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Why does it akways work in movies though?!
TaraMaiden Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Because it's Hollywood, the baddie always gets his come-uppance, and the hero always gets the girl. It's the un-written law of happy endings. Real life isn't allowed - that's why it's called escapism. And I suspect that the constant diet of pap that people have been spoon-fed ever since Douglas Fairbanks swashed his buckle, has actually done much to feed the goblin called "Desperate to be Loved" that resides somewhere in pretty much most peoples' psyche....
Sugarkane Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Because it's Hollywood, the baddie always gets his come-uppance, and the hero always gets the girl. It's the un-written law of happy endings. Real life isn't allowed - that's why it's called escapism. And I suspect that the constant diet of pap that people have been spoon-fed ever since Douglas Fairbanks swashed his buckle, has actually done much to feed the goblin called "Desperate to be Loved" that resides somewhere in pretty much most peoples' psyche.... Yes you are right. I also forgot about how little girls are always encouraged with Disney movies. Where the princess always gets rescued by a prince. Yet real life is never like that.
LostOne1 Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Why does it akways work in movies though?! would you go a see a movie where the villian wins the girl and the hero dies and the end....? LOL People watch movies to feel GOOD, or to show that things are happy or good. No one wants to see a movie where evil and all that is wrong and bad wins.
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