Gypsie Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 This guy and I was seeing for two and a half months and I had a misunderstanding. He ended things after it. After he said he did not want commitment. I assumed that he was using me for sex. He mentioned that he was not using me for sex. He had not even been seeing anyone else while we were seeing each other. I did not understand why he wanted to keep seeing me if he was not using me for sex and full on had an emotional out burst at him. I reacted badly. Sent him a few emails saying that I did not want a relationship and explained what I had just mentioned. He says that we are not on the same page. That is why things can not continue. Afterwards I realise he must just want to date me. I was fine with that. Sent an email saying that I understand now where he is coming from and want to continue dating him. He was nice again and said that he would try ring me later on that day. A day and a half later still nothing ?? He usually apologizes as well if he does not get back to me if he does not call when he says he will. Not sure what to make of it. I am giving him his space though other then that. Not much else I can do. The ball is in his court. Thoughts?
mtber75 Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 You touched up on a sensitive topic for some guys...men who uses women for sex or other reasons! It may take him a while to get back to you but I think he will if he is courteous. You just got to give him space. But if your that worried just send him a followup message. But don't push it by messaging him more than once.
Author Gypsie Posted September 28, 2012 Author Posted September 28, 2012 Oh I will. I only said yes to it because I just want to date him. Not just have sex with him. We went out on dates regularly before. He was even ringing me and getting to know me before. That is why I got confused. It did seem like a FWB thing. Hence why I got upset. He mentioned that it was not though. The whole thing is just annoying. Don't understand why he can't just be upfront about what he wants. Kind of wishing I did just go with the flow but did not want to be played. Being very careful with who I date now. Just not sure what to make of it all. Balls in his court regardless anyway. I am still in two minds about it myself.
venusianx13 Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 No, I don't think he wants to keep seeing you. I base this conclusion on my own experiences. People can tell you ANYTHING. What matters is what they DO. I need to point out something obvious - if he wants no commitment, then what exactly would you be to him? An associate? A friend? Are you really content with that, especially since he is expecting you to sleep with him? Please also keep in mind that even though he may not have been seeing anyone else while he was seeing you (circumstantially), he is leaving that door open. How would you feel if he continued to see you, and began seeing other women as well? You may have liked him a great deal. Everyone wants to be wanted, which is why I think you're pining after him a bit more than you should. Take a step back and write down what you want in a relationship. Then take a moment to compare what you had with/could have with this man. Based on reading posts by you on this subject, I'd say you're lowering your standards quite a bit in settling for this. 2
zanesfan Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Gypsie, he IS using you for sex. Your assumption was right. I have been where you are. Anytime a man says, "oh your good enough to sleep with but not good enough to commit to" is only in it for what they can get. Trust me, if you stay this will be an emotional rollercoaster. If he doesnt want to be in a relationship with you; thats fine. He has every right not want to be in a relationship. But you do not have deal with it. Dont be gullible like I was and stay in hope things will change. They will not. Get out now and dont torture yourself.
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