bshipz Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Below is my writeup for pof. Im 20 years old and looking for a committed relationship any oppinions help thanks everyone! Title-And so it began! It all started in Victoria, where I was born. I've been here ever since, minus half a year where I moved up island, got attacked by multiple types of wildlife, and decided to come back and continue where I left off. That being said i'm an outdoorsy kinda guy, and don't see myself moving from the coast anytime soon! I find that online dating is a great way of meeting people. It gives you the opportunity to know what the person is about and what they want rite from the start, which is so valuable to someone with a busy life. I love staying active and do as many things as I can. The majority of my week is consumed by work, so I find awesome things to do all weekend. It usually ends up being mountain biking. Its my main obsession, especially during the fall, theres nothing cooler then ripping through the forest in the colder weather being surrounded by orange. More so my spare time is spent with friends, working out, and trying new things. I'm really close to my family, and I value close friendships. Hoping to find a girl that I can laugh with, be myself around, and be spontaneous with. I'm loyal and honest, and I expect that from the girl I date. 1
kaylan Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Id say this is fine...especially for POF. In reality, your pics are what matter most on free dating sites...ESPECIALLY on POF.
O'farrell Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Your height matters a lot more than any of this crap. Better be at least 5'9 op...
CptObvious Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 We can't judge your writeup properly without a set of pictures first.
CptObvious Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Your height matters a lot more than any of this crap. Better be at least 5'9 op... Yeah, and you'll also need to tell them your weight and body fat %.
kaylan Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 ^Im 5'9, 171to 174 lbs depending on the day, and about 13% body fat at the moment. Will women date me ?
O'farrell Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 ^Im 5'9, 171to 174 lbs depending on the day, and about 13% body fat at the moment. Will women date me ? You just made the cut. Any shorter and you would have to have other things going for you or not even qualify.
Author bshipz Posted September 28, 2012 Author Posted September 28, 2012 haha well im 6' 3" slim athletic build ive got some great pics closup of me in a heli and some others, mostly curious if my write-ups lame or not
kassy Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Below is my writeup for pof. Im 20 years old and looking for a committed relationship any oppinions help thanks everyone! Title-And so it began! It all started in Victoria, where I was born. I've been here ever since, minus half a year where I moved up island, got attacked by multiple types of wildlife, and decided to come back and continue where I left off. That being said i'm an outdoorsy kinda guy, and don't see myself moving from the coast anytime soon! I find that online dating is a great way of meeting people. It gives you the opportunity to know what the person is about and what they want rightfrom the start, which is so valuable to someone with a busy life. I love staying active and do as many things as I can. The majority of my week is consumed by work, so I find awesome things to do all weekend. It usually ends up being mountain biking. Its my main obsession, especially during the fall, theres nothing cooler then ripping through the forest in the colder weather being surrounded by orange. More so my spare time is spent with friends, working out, and trying new things. I'm really close to my family, and I value close friendships. Hoping to find a girl that I can laugh with, be myself around, and be spontaneous with. I'm loyal and honest, and I expect that from the girl I date. I think it's ok, change the bolded word above. For me its a bit generic, and long winded. You sound like a nice guy, but you don't sound like you'd be a good laugh. You might be, but I think you are trying too hard to please everyone in that. I like cycling so I'd probably message you, but I wouldn't be overly optimistic that we would get on. I'm not trying to be mean, it's a nice enough profile and you seem like a good guy... But it doesn't make me swoon. Hope that is of some help!
Imajerk17 Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 (edited) Below is my writeup for pof. Im 20 years old and looking for a committed relationship any oppinions help thanks everyone! Title-And so it began! It all started in Victoria, where I was born. I've been here ever since, minus half a year where I moved up island, got attacked by multiple types of wildlife, and decided to come back and continue where I left off. That being said i'm an outdoorsy kinda guy, and don't see myself moving from the coast anytime soon! I find that online dating is a great way of meeting people. It gives you the opportunity to know what the person is about and what they want rite from the start, which is so valuable to someone with a busy life. I love staying active and do as many things as I can. The majority of my week is consumed by work, so I find awesome things to do all weekend. It usually ends up being mountain biking. Its my main obsession, especially during the fall, theres nothing cooler then ripping through the forest in the colder weather being surrounded by orange. More so my spare time is spent with friends, working out, and trying new things. I'm really close to my family, and I value close friendships. Hoping to find a girl that I can laugh with, be myself around, and be spontaneous with. I'm loyal and honest, and I expect that from the girl I date. I like how you talk about one of your passions--mountain biking. Most dudes just are into watching football. Take out what I bolded. It does you absolutely no good. No woman is going to bond with you due to your liking online dating, and actually, many people hate OLD, and will disagree with what you said. Edited September 28, 2012 by Imajerk17
Falcor Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 (edited) You seem like you're a "fun" person from your profile, and really that is the most important thing. The only other thing I'd say is that you might want to work on is the way your write up flows. You kind of jump around a little, which can be kind of distracting. Remember, a lot of the girls you are going to be emailing are going to be looking at a lot of other profiles from other guys who have emailed her, so the less concentration she needs to read your profile, the better. I think you're on the right track having three paragraphs, but I would structure it kind of differently. I think your idea for the first paragraph is entertaining, I would play that up by saying something like "One glorious day I was born" blah blah blah. Try to have fun with that. Then you can talk about your one year trip "up island", and anything you got to see there that was fun or wonderful. Leaving the paragraph there transitions nicely into the next paragraph, which should be about "how you love the outdoors" and what you do in your free time. I might start this paragraph by saying something like how you didn't get your love outdoors out of your system, and then I would talk about how you love mountain biking and everything there. I would also add some other things you love to do outside, like hiking and the beach perhaps. I would also say something like "anything outside and I'm happy". I think that sounds better than "I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy" and sounds more fun so a girl could make suggestions of other fun things she might want to do. Then I'd go to the third paragraph, and briefly mention what you are looking for. I'd mention that you are looking for someone who enjoys being active and spontaneous or whatever. You can briefly mention "the advantages of online dating here" but as suggested imajerk, I would focus more on the fact that it is nice to meet people because you are so busy than "that you enjoy online dating". I would stay away from the idea that you enjoy going on a lot of dates WITH OTHER WOMEN through online dating, and focus on the fact that you are busy but excited about the idea of finding someone special through OLD. Does that make sense? One more suggestion: I would stay away from the word "obsessed" or anything else like it. Girls like guys who "love" stuff and are "passionate about" stuff, not "obsessed" with stuff. It kind of has a negative connotation that the other words don't. Hope that helps! Edited September 28, 2012 by Falcor
GravityMan Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Pictures >>> Profile. For most women, if they don't like your pics, it's over...doesn't matter what you put in your profile. That said, the profile still matters if the woman likes your pics. To me, a good profile has similarities to an interesting, well-made teaser or trailer for an upcoming movie. In other words, it meets the following criteria: 1) Grabs her attention, piques her curiosity and leaves her wanting to know more. A little humor, wit, creativity, or something unusual/exotic (in a good way) are ways to accomplish this. Try to satisfy this within the first few sentences of your profile. Most people get bored quickly and will leave your profile if something doesn't catch her eye. 2) Brief and concise. 3 paragraphs is fine...even shorter may be better. Trim the fat. Use active voice instead of passive voice whereever suitable. No run-on sentences. The woman needs to be able to get a taste of what you're about at a glance. Many of them get contacted by lots of guys. Keep the profile as positive as possible without giving her the impression that your nose is in the clouds or that you're narcissistic or egotistical. Avoid terms that can give a bad connotation, e.g. the word "obsessed". Keep it fun and lighthearted. Try to avoid cliches. And I agree with Falcor that the whole thing should flow well. But don't overthink it. Many people don't take OLD all that seriously. All this advice we're giving you may make it seem that writing a good profile is hard. But if you were good at writing during your middle school and high school classes, then it really shouldn't be difficult; none of our advice is particularly advanced. Unless you're the type that just struggles to describe yourself (which is common). Your profile is decent...probably better than average, and already accomplishes some of the stuff I mentioned. And I agree with the earlier suggestion that you should post your profile on POF's profile reviews sub-forum for more feedback.
todreaminblue Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Below is my writeup for pof. Im 20 years old and looking for a committed relationship any oppinions help thanks everyone! Title-And so it began! It all started in Victoria, where I was born. I've been here ever since, minus half a year where I moved up island, got attacked by multiple types of wildlife, and decided to come back and continue where I left off. That being said i'm an outdoorsy kinda guy, and don't see myself moving from the coast anytime soon! I find that online dating is a great way of meeting people. It gives you the opportunity to know what the person is about and what they want rite from the start, which is so valuable to someone with a busy life. I love staying active and do as many things as I can. The majority of my week is consumed by work, so I find awesome things to do all weekend. It usually ends up being mountain biking. Its my main obsession, especially during the fall, theres nothing cooler then ripping through the forest in the colder weather being surrounded by orange. More so my spare time is spent with friends, working out, and trying new things. I'm really close to my family, and I value close friendships. Hoping to find a girl that I can laugh with, be myself around, and be spontaneous with. I'm loyal and honest, and I expect that from the girl I date. It is good I like the humor,honest,the write up is self effacing and shows your personality.The last paragraph is what would make me reply.....good luck and best wishes in the online dating pool.........deb
JayL Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Pictures >>> Profile. For most women, if they don't like your pics, it's over...doesn't matter what you put in your profile. That said, the profile still matters if the woman likes your pics. To me, a good profile has similarities to an interesting, well-made teaser or trailer for an upcoming movie. In other words, it meets the following criteria: 1) Grabs her attention, piques her curiosity and leaves her wanting to know more. A little humor, wit, creativity, or something unusual/exotic (in a good way) are ways to accomplish this. Try to satisfy this within the first few sentences of your profile. Most people get bored quickly and will leave your profile if something doesn't catch her eye. 2) Brief and concise. 3 paragraphs is fine...even shorter may be better. Trim the fat. Use active voice instead of passive voice whereever suitable. No run-on sentences. The woman needs to be able to get a taste of what you're about at a glance. Many of them get contacted by lots of guys. Keep the profile as positive as possible without giving her the impression that your nose is in the clouds or that you're narcissistic or egotistical. Avoid terms that can give a bad connotation, e.g. the word "obsessed". Keep it fun and lighthearted. Try to avoid cliches. And I agree with Falcor that the whole thing should flow well. But don't overthink it. Many people don't take OLD all that seriously. All this advice we're giving you may make it seem that writing a good profile is hard. But if you were good at writing during your middle school and high school classes, then it really shouldn't be difficult; none of our advice is particularly advanced. Unless you're the type that just struggles to describe yourself (which is common). Your profile is decent...probably better than average, and already accomplishes some of the stuff I mentioned. And I agree with the earlier suggestion that you should post your profile on POF's profile reviews sub-forum for more feedback. Girls that are a waste of time look only at pictures. Girls that are usually better than those trashbags on POF look at both pictures and profile. I used that website for awhile lol. The ones that read my profile I actually met up with and most were decent. The ones that I met up with and just thought that I was good looking and didn't care about my profile were F'd in the head.
FitChick Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 On POF you could type your profile with your feet and no one would notice.
yongyong Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 I hope you have a good picture. I look at girls in my phone for OLD. the picture size is probably half inch. But I can still tell which one I like and I don't give a damn about their profile. (I read some if I really like her) It should be Vice Versa for females.
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