irc333 Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 I just read a profile of a woman that said , even though she likes coffee, that coffee is a weird place to have a first date. I actually think it's the most COMMON place, esp. if you like coffee. Why is it weird, and also am I the only one thing that one should really give a rats arse? And, why would this even MATTER to someone? Also, would you say this is why this person had been single all their lives?
SJC2008 Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 It depends on the person and their dating "theory". Coffee or a dinner only date to me is not a good date idea and I'll never do it. You're talking about sitting accross from a person you don't know and it puts too much pressure on each party. That's why doing a small activity is good. Bowling, walk at a park, pool, etc. Then you can do dinner/coffee afterward when the ice is broken. TBS this is the same forum where people suggest cofee as a first date and then say why would you go to Chili's on a first date, it should be memorable.
Author irc333 Posted September 28, 2012 Author Posted September 28, 2012 It depends on the person and their dating "theory". Coffee or a dinner only date to me is not a good date idea and I'll never do it. You're talking about sitting accross from a person you don't know and it puts too much pressure on each party. That's why doing a small activity is good. Bowling, walk at a park, pool, etc. Then you can do dinner/coffee afterward when the ice is broken. TBS this is the same forum where people suggest cofee as a first date and then say why would you go to Chili's on a first date, it should be memorable. No need to make it memorable, you're just meeting, these meeting should be short, nothing long and drawn out. This is not a Kodak nor something that should wind up in a scrap book. No need to romanticize this event. 1
GirlontheLam Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 I just read a profile of a woman that said , even though she likes coffee, that coffee is a weird place to have a first date. I actually think it's the most COMMON place, esp. if you like coffee. Why is it weird, and also am I the only one thing that one should really give a rats arse? And, why would this even MATTER to someone? Also, would you say this is why this person had been single all their lives? I really like coffee. And I am a natural chatterbox, so I find coffee (somewhere interesting please) is a good first date. A coffeeshop not full of laptops, but good for people watching. But let's say you are not a natural chatterbox? Coffee alone doesn't necessarily give you enough distractions for a lull in conversation. coffee shop/art gallery would make that a really easy date. Or a coffee tasting. Then you have an alternate topic besides each other. I like coffee dates for people I think I'll have a lot to talk to about (like someone I met via doing a common interest) but an absolute stranger? Then an activity is better. Something short. Wine tasting is great. An art gallery opening. A museum. A festival. All good things that have natural situations to encourage topics of conversation.
sydneysider1978 Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 I'm not really a fan of a coffee date. Its great for a catch up with a friend or someone youve been seeing for a while. But for a first meet, it doesn't really get the romantic juices going. Something a little more fun with a little more though is good. And I don't mean spending more money, a walk in the park or night-markets, glass of wine or wander through a free art gallery would be great. A coffee date is such low-investment / effort, it's like your expecting you're not going to like the person much and may need a quick escape. Why not hope for the best and put some enthusiasm into it? Sure, you'll get disappointed sometimes but your much more likely to get a good result with some positive thinking. Why would not liking coffee dates mean she was single?
oaks Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Also, would you say this is why this person had been single all their lives? Yes, I'm sure this is precisely the reason. Silly question. Woman wants a non-coffee date, so ask her out for dinner. You do want to date this woman, right? Or are we just speculating about someone you're not even interested in?
mtber75 Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 I just read a profile of a woman that said , even though she likes coffee, that coffee is a weird place to have a first date. I actually think it's the most COMMON place, esp. if you like coffee. Why is it weird, and also am I the only one thing that one should really give a rats arse? And, why would this even MATTER to someone? Also, would you say this is why this person had been single all their lives? She's probably have a more traditional view of a date. Like a nice dinner and the appropriate dating etiquettes. True, now a days coffee is pretty common to meet up for a date...I don't mind at all and it put you more at ease because its more relaxing atmosphere.
Author irc333 Posted September 28, 2012 Author Posted September 28, 2012 (edited) I usually have coffee at one of the bookstores...and they're pretty darned quiet. I'm just saying, why do some single people make a big deal out of a first meet? Now I can understand how a fast food restaurant would be lame, but a coffee house can be a bit classy, and of course quiet and has an air of comfort. LOL...of course it's not why she's single all her life. Who KNOWS why she's been single all this time. Bad picker, working on her career, not interested in dating..there could be a million reasons, but I highly doubt her choice where to drink coffee is one of them. You can get a cup of coffee at Chili's, Applebee's, Cracker Barrel or your local pub - any other place that has a tiny bit more ambience than a Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts. Those places tend to have a loud, busy, high turnover of people in and out like a Micky D's or Burger King. I wouldn't want to meet at one of those places, either. All of my coffee meets have been at places like the above, where you able to sit a little more comfortably with out a line forming behind you or people banging their to-go bags into your head on their way out the door. Blech. Woman wants a non-coffee date, so ask her out for dinner. You do want to date this woman, right? Or are we just speculating about someone you're not even interested in? Interesting, funny how typically usually the woman expects the man to pick and choose the venue (taking charge), but in this case, she's calling the shots where the first date should be. (or not to be). Edited September 28, 2012 by irc333
oaks Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Interesting, funny how typically usually the woman expects the man to pick and choose the venue (taking charge), but in this case, she's calling the shots where the first date should be. (or not to be). So when are you going on this date?
Michael Johnson Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 I just read a profile of a woman that said , even though she likes coffee, that coffee is a weird place to have a first date. I actually think it's the most COMMON place, esp. if you like coffee. Why is it weird, and also am I the only one thing that one should really give a rats arse? And, why would this even MATTER to someone? Also, would you say this is why this person had been single all their lives? Considering I met my now wife at a coffee shop and met up again at that same coffee shop for our first date (and we now frequent that coffee shop regularly), I would say it is a potential place for a first date. It may not be for everyone obviously but it has its perks. 1
Imajerk17 Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 (edited) irc, here's what you should do: Write her an email, where you complain to her how unreasonable she is being, and that is why she still single after all these years. That will show her! (For those who don't know me, well where's the sarcasm font again?) Edited September 28, 2012 by Imajerk17
KathyM Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 I think a coffee shop is pretty typical for a first date. People don't want to invest a lot of time or money right from the start before seeing if there is interest upon meeting someone for the first time. It could be that this particular woman is finding coffee dates to be boring and too typical, and would prefer something different, especially if she's gone on a lot of first dates to the coffee shop. You could ask her to go for a walk in the park or some other meeting place that would be enjoyable, but where you wouldn't have to stay a long time or invest a lot of money for the first date. I could see that brief dates to the coffee shop could get boring after awhile if she's had a lot of first dates like that.
Author irc333 Posted September 28, 2012 Author Posted September 28, 2012 The only thing I don't get is....why would she state that she LIKES coffee, but doesn't want it to be the first date. I happen to have a fondness for coffee, and figured I'd be an ideal place for BOTH of us to meet. Man, some women are so confusing. lol
Author irc333 Posted September 28, 2012 Author Posted September 28, 2012 I think a coffee shop is pretty typical for a first date. People don't want to invest a lot of time or money right from the start before seeing if there is interest upon meeting someone for the first time. It could be that this particular woman is finding coffee dates to be boring and too typical, and would prefer something different, especially if she's gone on a lot of first dates to the coffee shop. You could ask her to go for a walk in the park or some other meeting place that would be enjoyable, but where you wouldn't have to stay a long time or invest a lot of money for the first date. I could see that brief dates to the coffee shop could get boring after awhile if she's had a lot of first dates like that. Yeah, I had some women saying they'd prefer to go to a THEME park on a first date....why the heck would put down a crap load of money to spend time with someone that after the first few mins at the park, I might not stand being around.
Emilia Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 The only thing I don't get is....why would she state that she LIKES coffee, but doesn't want it to be the first date. I happen to have a fondness for coffee, and figured I'd be an ideal place for BOTH of us to meet. Man, some women are so confusing. lol I know! There you are, trying to put us into neat little boxes but we insist on messing it up for you. Some people!
KathyM Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 The only thing I don't get is....why would she state that she LIKES coffee, but doesn't want it to be the first date. I happen to have a fondness for coffee, and figured I'd be an ideal place for BOTH of us to meet. Man, some women are so confusing. lol It sounds like she's looking for something different/more interesting/more memorable for a first date. A lot of women are sentimental, and if the relationship ends up working out, they want to have fond memories of what they did on their first date. Coffee only first dates can get pretty boring after awhile, I'm sure. Find someplace that wouldn't cost much and that you wouldn't have to spend a lot of time at if there was no interest after meeting, but which is not typical and would make the date stand out, such as meeting at a scenic place.
ScreamingTrees Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 She's probably have a more traditional view of a date. Like a nice dinner and the appropriate dating etiquettes. True, now a days coffee is pretty common to meet up for a date...I don't mind at all and it put you more at ease because its more relaxing atmosphere. Funny how one poster can say it puts too much pressure on the two people, and yet another person actually thinks it's more relaxing.. Goes to show that everyone sees these things differently. Go with what works for YOU, OP.
Imajerk17 Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 (edited) I just read a profile of a woman that said , even though she likes coffee, that coffee is a weird place to have a first date. I actually think it's the most COMMON place, esp. if you like coffee. Why is it weird, and also am I the only one thing (sic) that one should really give a rats arse? Yes you probably are. Within a large radius anyway. And, why would this even MATTER to someone? Also, would you say this is why this person had been single all their lives?Why does it matter to you what some random woman puts in her profile? You write these types of threads all the time. And it isn't doing you any good. Someone who is really good would write her and describe an imaginative and fun (inexpensive) date, if he liked the rest of her profile that is. Edited September 28, 2012 by Imajerk17 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 So when are you going on this date? Silly! You know he doesn't go on dates. He just critiques others for their approaches to going on dates. A hobby of sorts.
Author irc333 Posted September 28, 2012 Author Posted September 28, 2012 Coffee only first dates can get pretty boring after awhile This sentence doesn't make much sense. You're talking about coffee first dates with the same person? Or coffee "first dates" with multiple people? It can't be boring to someone if it's a FIRST date, but I could understand how it could be boring for someone if they are, let's say, on their 5th 1st date at the same coffee shop, then yes. LOL
Citizen Erased Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 The only thing I don't get is....why would she state that she LIKES coffee, but doesn't want it to be the first date. I happen to have a fondness for coffee, and figured I'd be an ideal place for BOTH of us to meet. Man, some women are so confusing. lol Maybe because she experienced a variety of different "coffee place dates" and they were boring and ended in nothing. Like other people said, an activity gives you something to talk about. A meeting over coffee with just you and a stranger can be stilted conversation.
xxoo Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 It can't be boring to someone if it's a FIRST date, Apparently, it can. She wants someone other than the typical guy/typical first date. A compatible guy might read her profile and say, "I feel the same way." 3
gaius Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 I don't ask out a woman until I'm sure I like her, so designing a date in order to invest as little as possible would be weird for me. I get it working for others though. Just not her thing I guess.
KathyM Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 This sentence doesn't make much sense. You're talking about coffee first dates with the same person? Or coffee "first dates" with multiple people? It can't be boring to someone if it's a FIRST date, but I could understand how it could be boring for someone if they are, let's say, on their 5th 1st date at the same coffee shop, then yes. LOL I'm saying that if most of the woman's first dates are to coffee shops, that would get pretty boring. Of course, if the woman was going on multiple dates with the same guy, and the guy wanted to always stop for coffee first on the date, that would be boring as well. If you want to be memorable and make a good impression, find something more interesting and less cliche for a first date.
Imajerk17 Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 (edited) I agree with xxoo. Yes, the typical online first date is coffee. The typical online first date doesn't lead to a second date though. So, do the math... I salute this woman for at least being honest. Edited September 28, 2012 by Imajerk17
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