ashtree-house Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 I texted him and said I missed him. I don't know why, I was doing so good. Like there was light at the end of the tunnel. I just relapsed. Work was stressful today, and my roommate is working late.. and I just felt lonely. I should have came on here and vented.. but my heart won out on this one. He dumped me 5 weeks ago and I've been mostly NC since, our mutual friends say my ex misses me and asks about me, yet he has made no effort to talk to me. I can't believe I did that, I don't expect a response, I'm just disappointed with myself. Breaking up twenty or thirty years ago must have been easier.. no cell phones, emails, social media.. it's so hard to stay away sometimes. I wish we weren't so technology advanced.. back then, the only way you saw your ex is if you literally ran into them.
suladas Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 I agree with that, it's just so dang easy to contact them now. If you wanted to make it a bit easier to resist the urge you could delete their number and just write it down somewhere if you want to keep it. I would of done that, but for some reason I have my ex's number memorized so it would do me no good and I just cannot bring myself to get rid of all the texts from/to her. Don't beat yourself up, I bet 99% of people do it, I contacted my ex 3 times without getting a response before I clued in. And I STILL get the urge to sometimes even though I know it's a bad idea. It's so dang tough when you have no idea what they are thinking. Honestly a smart part of me wishes i'd get a response like "leave me alone" or something so it would really sink in it's a bad idea to contact them.
geegirl Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 I texted him and said I missed him. I don't know why, I was doing so good. Like there was light at the end of the tunnel. I just relapsed. Work was stressful today, and my roommate is working late.. and I just felt lonely. I should have came on here and vented.. but my heart won out on this one. He dumped me 5 weeks ago and I've been mostly NC since, our mutual friends say my ex misses me and asks about me, yet he has made no effort to talk to me. I can't believe I did that, I don't expect a response, I'm just disappointed with myself. Breaking up twenty or thirty years ago must have been easier.. no cell phones, emails, social media.. it's so hard to stay away sometimes. I wish we weren't so technology advanced.. back then, the only way you saw your ex is if you literally ran into them. Sometimes it takes a few tries before you realize what a gift NC truly is. You acted on impulse and it's normal. Don't beat yourself up. Stumbling is part of the process. It's not a good feeling but a great lesson. He may miss you Ash, but most likely isn't reaching out because he knows he can't give you what you want. Missing someone doesn't guarantee wanting to be with you. It's a blessing he isn't derailing your healing and grieving. You don't see it now but it's best to feel what you're feeling now rather than facing confusion when contact happens. You see it here all the time. Stay NC and next time you have the urge, don't react but let it pass, as it always does. Or come here. Or give yourself a waiting time rule of 24 hours. Or call your mother or a friend and let them give you the boot! Or read your posts to remind you of the repercussions. Keep strong.
Author ashtree-house Posted September 28, 2012 Author Posted September 28, 2012 Thanks everyone, I do feel like I'm learning from my mistakes. I feel like I'm getting stronger, today I just cracked. It will be a bit of a mopey night, but I'll feel better in the morning, and resume NC. Everyone here is really helpful
Author ashtree-house Posted September 28, 2012 Author Posted September 28, 2012 A little update: He said "I don't know what to say So I'll say Hello :)" What in the actual ****. Why answer at all?
LostOne1 Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 A little update: He said "I don't know what to say So I'll say Hello :)" What in the actual ****. Why answer at all? my ex said the same when I had talked to her.. it was always.. "I have nothing to say" or "I don't wanna talk". I guess it might mean they really don't care to talk. So they really have nothing to say to us.
geegirl Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 A little update: He said "I don't know what to say So I'll say Hello :)" What in the actual ****. Why answer at all? He's being polite. He can't reciprocate your feelings but he doesn't want to be rude and ignore. The thing with dumpees, when breaking contact, they're doing it with a certain expectation. When it's not fulfilled, if the dumper ignores or doesn't respond with the right answer, they're disappointed and confused. You have to understand he's not on the same emotional level you're in and his answer is of someone that is probably detached or indifferent.
mvc Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 its not how you fall down but how you pick yourself back up. all of us have "cracked" at one stage but we learn from that. now the next time you get the urge to contact them you can think back to this and how you feel (perhaps write it down so next time you have it written in front of you how it made you feel) and you will be able to make a more educated decision then.
bluefairy812 Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 A little update: He said "I don't know what to say So I'll say Hello :)" What in the actual ****. Why answer at all? ugh my ex said the same one day that i e-mailed him lyrics to a song that said i missed him.. he responded with "i don't know what to say. thinking of you always." horrible! we all relapse it sucks and its part of the process but u will learn to get better! good luck <3 1
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