For those who fell out of love and did the breaking up, What made you regret it?

[hellodearest]

Let's say you fall out of love with your SO, you break up, of course you're going to miss them, but there was something fundamental about your relationship that wasn't working which led to the initial break up, (loss of love, loss of attraction). Did you ever change your decision? What made you realize what you had thrown away was something you actually wanted?

[yoman38]

tough question

Edited September 28, 2012 by yoman38

[hellodearest]

Haha. yeah. Was hoping for at least a couple responses! Guess we wouldn't be here if we were the dumper and/or went back to a successful relationship. I guess the question could apply to a past relationship that ended up turning sour over something else...

[BornToDie]

My last boyfriend and I dated for almost 3 years. He fell out of love with me way before I fell out of love with him. Year and a half mark, he cheated with his ex. 2 year mark, I found out, and he told me he didn't love me anymore. We take a break. Week later, he comes back and is ready to try again. 2 and a half years, I cheat with another guy and end it a week later, realizing I didn't love him anymore.

 

Basically, I did not want to break up with him. I'd never broken it off before. At one point, we thought we were going to get married. I lost my virginity to him. He was my best friend. When I was breaking up with him, I was sobbing the whole time. I realized, though, that I didn't know what I wanted anymore, and that wasn't fair to him. We'd transitioned from high school to college, and it was a huge change that had transformed us both. He spent a lot of time texting the ex behind my back and hiding it. He also pulled the "I don't know if I love you" crap all the time.

In short, I spent the entire last year of our relationship trying to make HIM happy. I lost weight, sleep and food over him, and I finally woke up and realized that I couldn't make him love me. When I met the guy I cheated with, I realized that someone else out there would give me the affection I wasn't getting elsewhere, so I took it and ran with it. Finally, I was done trying, and the relationship deteriorated from there.

 

Do I regret it? Part of me wishes I had held on a little bit longer to see if I really would miss him when college resumed. We had incredible times together, and part of me will always care deeply for him. Deep down, though, I know he didn't love me. As bad as it sounds, I don't regret cheating because it opened my eyes to the reality of how bad my relationship had gotten. Bottom line, if it's not working, you can't force it. I made the right decision.

[eleve82]

I didn't do the breaking up but my last ex who left me said he wanted to be single again after we dated and lived together for 2.5 years. He insisted it wasn't to date other girls but to concentrate on his career and life. He was 25 years old then. In the months following, he did NC and I heard from mutual friends he had brought girls home and even ran into him in a club kissing another girl. 7 months later, he asked to meet up and I thought he wanted closure so I did. He admitted he thought he could a girl with the same qualities easily but was wrong. Over the next 3 years, he has been trying to meet up with me and sent me a drunk text one day saying too bad I have a long term boyfriend or we could have been together again. Well, thats a story for you. Not sure if it helps.