That_girl Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 I've been seeing this guy for about three months, and while we don't refer to ourselves as being in a "relationship", we definitely care about each other. We used to date for a while back when we were 15, 16. We're 19 now and after all these years of keeping in touch and hanging out, we still haven't had sex. He always tells me how much he cares about me and how much he isn't trying to get me in bed, but every time he comes over we always end up all over each other until the point where we're dying to rip each others clothing off. He knows that I'm still a virgin, so sometimes I get the feeling that the only reason he's still hanging around is because he feels inadequate that he still hasn't been able to sleep with me yet. Whenever I tell him this, he gets really upset and tells me that if sex was all he wanted, he wouldn't be hanging around a virgin like me. I really care about him at this point, but I know that I don't want to have sex with him...it's just so hard when we're in that position to tell him to back off. Last night I even joked around about losing my virginity over the weekend, and he believed it and got REALLY upset. If he's not concerned with sex and my virginity, then why would he get so upset if I had given it up? And why does he always want to fool around when he comes over?
YellowLioness Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 Okee, I have some questions for you: 1. Does he like you for more then a friend? 2. Would you WANT to lose your virginity to him? 3. Do you all hang out other then when messing around? 4. Why are you teasing him about losing your virginity to someone else, anyway? Are you trying to make him feel inadequate? In order to help you, I'd like some more info. Thanks!
Author That_girl Posted July 26, 2004 Author Posted July 26, 2004 Thanks for the reply. 1. Does he like you for more then a friend? I don't even really know. He always stresses how much he really likes me, and how the last thing he would want to do is hurt me. However, every time we talk about what's happening between us, he always says "let's not get into labels", or "let's not talk about it". He calls me his "special friend". It makes me feel like he just wants to use me, and not have to worry about committing to me. 2. Would you WANT to lose your virginity to him? No. I always pictured my first time being with someone that I'm in love with. I'm not sure how he really feels about me, and I don't want to get hurt afterwards if it turns out he is just using me for sex. 3. Do you all hang out other then when messing around? Yeah, we hang out a lot. We don't always mess around...it just happens once in a while. And we have good times together, we really get along well. 4. Why are you teasing him about losing your virginity to someone else, anyway? Are you trying to make him feel inadequate? I guess I just wanted to see what his reaction would be. I don't want to make him feel inadequate...but I guess I did that because I feel inadequate. I also felt angry that he got so upset, considering he lost his virginity about 5 years ago, and has slept with more people at 19 than I probably ever will in my life.
YellowLioness Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 I think its the whole conquest thing for him, really. Men reach their sexual peak at 19. Otherwise you're right, why WOULD he continuously mess around with a virgin? (BTW, congrats on keeping your V so long) I'm sure that he does have feelings for you, as you all are friends. Now, this is just my humble opinion: He may want to be the one to take your virginity. He probably feels bad, in a way, KNOWING that you'll mess around with him, but that he's not the one that you want to give it to. He probably feels jealous of this unknown person who has somehow already topped him in your book, (ie you are waiting for someone whom you haven't met yet, that you LOVE to take it) and perhaps inadequate. Do you feel uncomfortable messing around with him for other reasons? Is he too pushy with you? P.s. If he doesn't want to commit, it could be because he feels he is too young, or else he KNOWS he can't be the guy you are looking for.
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