Should I give up hope

[DavidG]

My ex and I (both 29) have been together for roughly 2 years and we broke up almost a month ago. In the beginning, she was always the one who chased me and at the time I wasn't sure I wanted to be in a relationship. After time progressed, I began to fall for her and we were doing great. We talked about having kids together, getting married and basically being together forever. About 3 months ago, we started having problems (my mother was diagnosed with cirrhosis) and I wasn't the boyfriend that I should've been. I guess you could say I was distracted and did not put her first (even though my family situation was critical). Well a month ago, she broke up with me and said she needed time/space and basically was unsure of what she wanted. Within a couple of days she was seeing someone else. We had NC for an entire two week period and then she sort of came back. She said she wasn't happy and that she broke up with him. We hung out for a week (no sex) and talked about our future together but when I questioned us being together now, she was still undecided as to what she wanted. She talked about how many issues her new guy had (lives at home at 29!!, going through a divorce, has kids, told her he loved her after 2 weeks, etc). Last Sunday, I screwed up and basically put it on the table that I wanted her back and that I wanted to be with her forever. She said that she did not want to be in a relationship with anyone now, she loves me more than anything and that one day she hopes we work out and have a life together. Literally the next day she was back with her "rebound" (I saw his truck outside of her house at 5am). I went no contact for 3 days and this morning screwed up and sent her an email simply saying "good morning, have a great day and I love you!". She simply responded with "you too". I know I need to go NC but does this sound like a hopeless situation? I know the whole "get back with your ex" thing is not predictable but I love this girl to death and want to marry her. She always said I was the only one she wanted and the last three months apparently had that much impact on the rest of her life with me. I am struggling bad. No sleep whatsoever, no motivation to anything, etc. It sucks. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for listening everyone.

 

Dave

[moveONorStay]

Honestly, I think this girl has no respect for you whatsoever and you should do whatever it takes to remove your emotional attachment to her. She sounds very unstable and a bit lost with her own identity. If she continues to behave like this, she is going to make you very miserable.

 

I know it's hard to leave someone and that you feel that you need to stand by her, but seriously, this is going to lead to a life of misery.

 

You cannot plan a future with someone that has no stability.

 

RUN!!!

[DavidG]

One thing I kind of didn't mention was that although I may have had an excuse, I broke plans, didn't do the small things which pretty much all women need, etc...Basically she did have a reason. I just took her for granted and didnt realize it until it was too late.

[flitzanu]

dude, doesn't matter what you did or didn't do, the girl went out looking to bang someone else. don't beat yourself up over taking care of your family and not being a "perfect boyfriend".

 

be glad you got rid of her before you took any more serious steps with your relationship.

[Chi townD]

Literally the next day she was back with her "rebound" (I saw his truck outside of her house at 5am). I went no contact for 3 days and this morning screwed up and sent her an email simply saying "good morning, have a great day and I love you!".

 

 

Dude, really?!?!?! The asshat's truck was at her house at 5AM!!!!!!! Do you think that he slept on the couch?!?!?! And you send her a text stating that you love her after witnessing that?!?! She just spent the night screwing this guy and you send her a text stating that you love her......In my opinion, I don't think that her actions are very lovable right now.

 

Dude, there are 7 billion people on this planet and there are a ton of girls that would LOVE to spend time with you and wouldn't treat you this poorly.

 

I know you don't want to hear this, but I think it's time to move on. You deserve so much better.

[DavidG]

Thanks bro! I needed that. I accepted that she rebounded but it shocked me when I saw that he was back in the picture after she told him to come get his stuff because they were done. I guess she just strung me along for a week to make sure I was still available since we went NC for a couple weeks before. I guess the general consensus is that shes a pos and I need to grab my balls and never talk to her again. It sucks but life goes on. Thanks for the reality check....and I have no idea why i sent that email!! It hurts the worst in the AM and thats when i sent it.