Russian/Foreign women don't have dating hang ups

[irc333]

I have to admit, I've been talking this Russian woman lately I know from networking and group activities, but she has a boyfriend (says she never goes to such events without him, I guess for obvious reasons)

 

Any, I noticed some recent pictures she's placed on her FB wall, they were celebrating a B-day party with all her friends...most of which (or all) were a lot of gorgeous Russian ladies. Most were married, but I happened to spot a couple that were unattached.

 

She said 2 of them were single, and perhaps one day she'd might invite them to another group event when I go.

 

I brought up an event next week, and that's when she said she'll be out of town, but she said she'd give me this one single ladies phone #, if it's okay with her.

(I didn't ask, she sounded like she wanted to fix her up with me).

 

Funny thing is, she has no FB profile, she tried to talk her into Match.com, but she said her single friend has no time for such things.

 

I asked, "Well, is she busy with work" and she said, "Well, she's a hair stylist, but she's been a bit of reclusive lately, and I'd like for her to get out and meet new people."

 

I just find it kind funny how foreign women don't have hang ups about "fixing their friends up", while American women have so much worry of the consequences of doing so.

 

She even told me that she's noticed so many women in their 40's or 50's that were never even married, that were so focused on their careers they wound up being single all their lives.

 

It's interesting getting such a perspective from a Russian culture, they tend to value friendships, families, and of course their mates/husbands more so than others here in the U.S.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

There are certainly cultural differences between American women and Foreign women. This is true for American men and Foreign men too. In general, we tend to be a bit more reserved in America. My Mom has a friend that is British that talked about how when she moved here that American men are not very open. They don't make eye contact or flirt. I know that some men will blame women for this but the fact remains that both American men and American women can be more reserved then our foreign counterparts. Does this mean American men are less loving and valuing of women, wives, families? I don't think so.

 

I don't take issue with you making comparisons of American culture, or American women vs Foreign ones. There is bound to be differences. But I totally disagree with and dislike the idea that Foreign women and culture are holy grails of enlightment where these women love more, value more, care more about the people in their lives. It's wrong.

 

I bet there are American women that have had invested a lot in their work life to build something for themselves. Is this wrong? Of course not. Did they probably have to make certain sacrifices? Possibly. None of us are going to have it all. But I am sure they are happy with their work and have fulfilment in doing something they feel is important. Maybe some of then wouldn't choose to be single. But maybe they don't know how to get a relationship going with a man. Maybe they date and get turned down a lot. Women aren't perfect you know Irc. We are human. We struggle with choices and coming to terms with our lives sometimes. But to say that these women are less loving and caring than Foreign women just isn't right.

 

Also keep in mind that while American women are settling down like they use to, American men don't exactly want to support families on their own (and can't because of the economy) like they once could afford to do. Alot of men aren't exactly looking to settle down at 21. What is a girl suppose to do after she graduates college? Just perform average grade jobs until Prince Charming come along? What if she never meets that man that wants to live the life she wants to live? What if no guy wants her? She is suppse to just work in average jobs?

 

You talk about American women vs Foreign women and who has more heart. Both have a lot of heart and care a lot. We love just as deeply as any other foreign woman does and vice versa. Jsut like you are capable of loving just as deeply as a foreign man.

 

If you like foreign women better, no problem. But don't tell me that I don't care or love as deeply as them.

[amaysngrace]

It's interesting getting such a perspective from a Russian culture, they tend to value friendships, families, and of course their mates/husbands more so than others here in the U.S.

 

Please ask her if she thinks that breathing in cold air causes a urinary tract infection or drinking ice cold beverages causes a sore throat.

 

Thank you.

[Emilia]

I just find it kind funny how foreign women don't have hang ups about "fixing their friends up", while American women have so much worry of the consequences of doing so.

 

She even told me that she's noticed so many women in their 40's or 50's that were never even married, that were so focused on their careers they wound up being single all their lives.

 

It's interesting getting such a perspective from a Russian culture, they tend to value friendships, families, and of course their mates/husbands more so than others here in the U.S.

 

Russian/Eastern European women are often less afluent than Western women and can be more used to traditional gender roles too. This means they sometimes need a man more, ie they are less independent. If that's what floats your boat then go for it.

[GorillaTheater]

This is purely anecdotal on my part, and I've never had a relationship with a Russian/East European woman, so you might want to take this with a grain of salt, but in my limited experience I've found that these women, and perhaps the men as well, have what I'd describe as a sort of "cultural BPD". You're either the greatest thing since sliced rye bread, or you're the scum of the earth. Sometimes in the same day.

 

They strike me as a little too unstable, collectively, to be good relationship material. This with all due respect to Radu, who seems like a great, grounded, guy.

[irc333]

I find that , and don't take this the wrong way, American women have a lot of walls up, they're harder to approach as a stranger, too as opposed to their Foreign counter parts, that's the main thing.

 

I have also noticed foreign women are very honest if they have no interest in you, and they'll let you know in a gentle fashion, and there are no hard feelings, and they'll sometimes recommend you to even THEIR friends if it doesn't work out. They're supportive in that.

 

Also, they aren't as career or profession obsessed. American women, (and again, don't take this the wrong way) are more career obsessed, enjoy their independence so much, that marriage scares them off. I knew of a 45 year old, very attractive woman, I actually conversed with her, VERY nice woman, no chips on her shoulder etc.

 

I think she's just become SO accustomed to living single in her 40's that she can't stand someone being in her space, in fact she cut off an engagement to a man that was stopping by her house a little TOO much, when in fact it was na acceptable amount of time to popping by.

 

I was like "Well, get used to it, it's an engagement, be prepared to be wakig up to each other on a daily basis, lol!"

 

 

 

Speaking of which this woman posted in her comments area:

 

Family is the most important thing in life. Your career will not wait for you at home, your money will not wipe your tears, your success will not hug you at night. Love your family!

 

Not saying that American women are completely heartless, but society in America both men AND women aren't really tuned into what's important, we have so many distractions.

 

Does this mean American men are less loving and valuing of women, wives, families? I don't think so.

 

I don't think so either, but there's just more hurdles when dealing with dating American people.

 

 

There are certainly cultural differences between American women and Foreign women. This is true for American men and Foreign men too. In general, we tend to be a bit more reserved in America. My Mom has a friend that is British that talked about how when she moved here that American men are not very open. They don't make eye contact or flirt. I know that some men will blame women for this but the fact remains that both American men and American women can be more reserved then our foreign counterparts. Does this mean American men are less loving and valuing of women, wives, families? I don't think so.

 

I don't take issue with you making comparisons of American culture, or American women vs Foreign ones. There is bound to be differences. But I totally disagree with and dislike the idea that Foreign women and culture are holy grails of enlightment where these women love more, value more, care more about the people in their lives. It's wrong.

 

I bet there are American women that have had invested a lot in their work life to build something for themselves. Is this wrong? Of course not. Did they probably have to make certain sacrifices? Possibly. None of us are going to have it all. But I am sure they are happy with their work and have fulfilment in doing something they feel is important. Maybe some of then wouldn't choose to be single. But maybe they don't know how to get a relationship going with a man. Maybe they date and get turned down a lot. Women aren't perfect you know Irc. We are human. We struggle with choices and coming to terms with our lives sometimes. But to say that these women are less loving and caring than Foreign women just isn't right.

 

Also keep in mind that while American women are settling down like they use to, American men don't exactly want to support families on their own (and can't because of the economy) like they once could afford to do. Alot of men aren't exactly looking to settle down at 21. What is a girl suppose to do after she graduates college? Just perform average grade jobs until Prince Charming come along? What if she never meets that man that wants to live the life she wants to live? What if no guy wants her? She is suppse to just work in average jobs?

 

You talk about American women vs Foreign women and who has more heart. Both have a lot of heart and care a lot. We love just as deeply as any other foreign woman does and vice versa. Jsut like you are capable of loving just as deeply as a foreign man.

 

If you like foreign women better, no problem. But don't tell me that I don't care or love as deeply as them.

Edited September 27, 2012 by irc333

[monkey00]

I can't really comment on Russian dating culture since I don't have any Russian friends. But it's definitely a cultural thing. A lot of Asian cultures do the same actually, particularly meeting through friends and family as opposed to say accepting a date from a stranger who just approached you or from online.

 

What I noticed though about American culture for dating is that it can kind of be an ego thing. In part wit ego because people are shy about asking for help. The women that I do notice who ask others if they know of people that are single do kind of come off a bit desperate. Guys particularly are the least likely to ask for help from another friend in the dating scene. At least in my social circles anyway.

 

Playing matchmaker more likely involves having a social gathering and if you have friends that are single invite them to come. And leave the rest up to them.

[irc333]

Yeah, Russian women don't seem to take issue playing Matchmaker nor do the person they're attempting t match someone up with has the SAME hang up.

 

It's no big deal to them.

 

Americans seem to come up with ANY reason NOT to date, while foreign women dot he opposite. LOL

 

I can't really comment on Russian dating culture since I don't have any Russian friends. But it's definitely a cultural thing. A lot of Asian cultures do the same actually, particularly meeting through friends and family as opposed to say accepting a date from a stranger who just approached you or from online.

 

What I noticed though about American culture for dating is that it can kind of be an ego thing. In part wit ego because people are shy about asking for help. The women that I do notice who ask others if they know of people that are single do kind of come off a bit desperate. Guys particularly are the least likely to ask for help from another friend in the dating scene. At least in my social circles anyway.

 

Playing matchmaker more likely involves having a social gathering and if you have friends that are single invite them to come. And leave the rest up to them.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I find that , and don't take this the wrong way, American women have a lot of walls up, they're harder to approach as a stranger, too as opposed to their Foreign counter parts, that's the main thing.

 

That very well may be true but that doesn't mean American women are less loving or passionate. None of us live in an easy world. Women have a lot to contend with in society concerning their sexuality and their place in it. We easily get labled with names for being too asseritive, too weak, too sexual..... A lot of women balance a find line between feeling like "too much" and "not enough" at the same time. How do we compensate for that? We become reserved.

 

But it's not just American women that have walls up. Men have walls up too sometimes. I don't exactly find men always very friendly. Sometimes I did want to smile at a guy but the unsmiling unfriendly face detered me from doing so. That doesn't mean he was unfriendly. But that's how he came off to me so I checked myself and controlled myself.

 

 

I have also noticed foreign women are very honest if they have no interest in you, and they'll let you know in a gentle fashion, and there are no hard feelings, and they'll sometimes recommend you to even THEIR friends if it doesn't work out. They're supportive in that.

 

I think you should actually date some foreign women Irc. But if you think there will be no hurdles dating foreign women, then I think you aren't being completely honest with yourself.

 

 

Not saying that American women are completely heartless, but society in America both men AND women aren't really tuned into what's important, we have so many distractions.

 

Actually, it does seem like you are leaning on the side that American women are somehow less of women compared to foreign women and less of women then American or Foreign men are.

 

But I do think that a lot of the family unit has broken down in American culture and I do think it's also due to many distractions. Except I don't think this is unique to just women and includes both women and men.

 

Social media and media in general are one cause of the breakdown. I went grocery shopping a few days ago and there was a Mom with her baby where she was dangling her fancy I-phone infront of her baby to keep it distracted while she shopped. The thing is, that it would have been so easy for her to keep the baby entertained since the baby was in the shopping car just sitting there. All she had to do was talk to the baby and have fun with her. I was kind of pissed about that. The baby wants to interact with Mom. Not have shiney electronics dangled infront of it's face and be in it's own little world.

 

I've seen both Fathers and Mother's act very distracted around their kids infavor of their phones or other things. I use to babysit for a lot of families and was sometimes was in the house with the parents too and I would watch the Fathers usually go off and shut themselves off in a room. I don't know what they were doing behind them. Paying bills? Working? Reading The Onion or looking at porn? Probably a combination of all of those. Would it be fair to make a commentary about American fatherhood based on that experience? I don't think so.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Russian/Eastern European women are often less afluent than Western women and can be more used to traditional gender roles too. This means they sometimes need a man more, ie they are less independent. If that's what floats your boat then go for it.

 

This.

 

I am Eastern European, and probably have more walls up than 99% of American women

[irc333]

This.

 

I am Eastern European, and probably have more walls up than 99% of American women

 

Wait, are you a bonafide Eastern European, or part European? Like you're American, with a mix of other things from Europe? Or are you 100% German or 100% Romanian?

 

Though, some, if living in the states long enough, to tend to get Americanized.

[irc333]

Actually, it does seem like you are leaning on the side that American women are somehow less of women compared to foreign women and less of women then American or Foreign men are.

 

I'm sorry that if I seem to be coming off that way, but perhaps one is the product of their environment? That the blame cannot be entirely be put on people's behavior?

 

I'm not so sure, but I'm one of those that really don't coincide with how a lot us are so obsessed with looks, material things and so on.

 

I agree with you on the parent you saw dangling the Iphone in front of the child, that's quite disturbing.

 

Remember in the '80's, where our parents made us turn off the TV to go outside? There was a reason for that. LOL

[Hawaii50]

OP- You're speaking for yourself.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I'm sorry that if I seem to be coming off that way, but perhaps one is the product of their environment? That the blame cannot be entirely be put on people's behavior?

 

I'm not so sure, but I'm one of those that really don't coincide with how a lot us are so obsessed with looks, material things and so on.

 

I agree with you on the parent you saw dangling the Iphone in front of the child, that's quite disturbing.

 

Remember in the '80's, where our parents made us turn off the TV to go outside? There was a reason for that. LOL

 

I think that we have to take everything in context. And not just assume that everything is a certain way at surface face. I just know from past experience when I have made assumption about things, I was proven wrong sometimes. I certainly still do this even though I try to be more aware of it myself. It's hard not to make assumptions based on the information your brain collects and your personal experiences are in the mix. Just don't always assume that the reason American women are harder to deal with, in your experience, is because they are less loving.

 

Here is another example of not always taking things at face value. My Mom and I went to Starbucks in the morning to get some coffee. An older lady with a little dog was on the sidewalk outside of Starbucks. She said hello to me but at the same time my Mom said something to me and I turned my head toward my Mom to respond. I never said "hello" back to the older lady. I felt really rude about it. That lady probably thought I was being snotty because I never responded to her and even turned my head away from her. But I was just operating on instinct to address my Mom first. It hadn't been my intention to ignore her. When I came outside again, she wasn't there anymore. You never fully know what is going on inside someone else unless you have a detailed direct discussion.

[Hawaii50]

This.

 

I am Eastern European, and probably have more walls up than 99% of American women

 

Jlubicica moja?! mala devojcica?!!!

[Emilia]

I have also heard foreign care A LOT LESS about race/ethnicity of a man than American women do.

 

lumping 3.25 billion women in one neat box

[Lonely Ronin]

it's more of a cultural issue than it is anything else, and it effects both sexes. I know people from every content and just about every major geographic region. The following are my opinions.

 

As a whole Americans are a lot more independent than other nationalities. I think this is partly do to the size and population density of our country. I mean 100 years ago, going to town was a big deal. I know a couple that it's literally 4 miles in any direction to get to a neighbor.

 

Americans work more than a lot of other nationalities do. We aren't #1 but we are up at the top of the list. Additionally most of the countries that work more than we do are not as well off as we are.

 

As a country we are wealthy. In some countries in the EU multiple generations share the same home, because it's not economically feasible for each generation to live separately. In the us, this is a rare occurrence.

 

In general Americans are more conservative, when it comes to expressing sexuality and friendship. You would be amazed at what shows up on tv in other countries. I think the friendship thing comes down to being more trusting. I think as Americans we are always on the look out trying to make sure we don't get taken advantage of. For example I have meet a lot of foreign people over they years, and been invited over for dinner after only knowing them for a few days. I can't think of a single time this is happened with someone of american decent.

[sweetjasmine]

I find that , and don't take this the wrong way, American women have a lot of walls up, they're harder to approach as a stranger, too as opposed to their Foreign counter parts, that's the main thing.

 

Likely depends on the context. When I spent time in Russia, no one smiled at strangers in public, and only old people struck up conversations at bus stops and the like. In public, Russians are very closed off and cold. In private is where they warm up and are friendly and open.

 

Also, they aren't as career or profession obsessed. American women, (and again, don't take this the wrong way) are more career obsessed, enjoy their independence so much, that marriage scares them off.

 

The young people in the city I spent several months in were obsessed with material goods, and most of the girls were more worried about looking good and landing a guy with money than they were about careers. People judged each other by the type of jeans and cell phones they had. I remember this teenager came up to me trying to sell a sim card for a cell phone company, and he refused to believe that I didn't have a cell phone. He thought I was BSing him because no young woman would dare admit to be so poor as to not have a cell phone.

 

I have also heard foreign care A LOT LESS about race/ethnicity of a man than American women do.

 

I don't know who you're referring to by saying "foreign," but keeping with the topic of the thread, Russians and Eastern Europeans are pretty damn racist, and the city I stayed in has become a hot spot for Neo-Nazis. My black classmates were harassed and yelled at on a daily basis, and a Nepalese guy in a prior cohort got beaten up in a subway station while the cops just watched.

[monkey00]

it's more of a cultural issue than it is anything else, and it effects both sexes. I know people from every content and just about every major geographic region. The following are my opinions.

 

As a whole Americans are a lot more independent than other nationalities. I think this is partly do to the size and population density of our country. I mean 100 years ago, going to town was a big deal. I know a couple that it's literally 4 miles in any direction to get to a neighbor.

 

Americans work more than a lot of other nationalities do. We aren't #1 but we are up at the top of the list. Additionally most of the countries that work more than we do are not as well off as we are.

 

As a country we are wealthy. In some countries in the EU multiple generations share the same home, because it's not economically feasible for each generation to live separately. In the us, this is a rare occurrence.

 

In general Americans are more conservative, when it comes to expressing sexuality and friendship. You would be amazed at what shows up on tv in other countries. I think the friendship thing comes down to being more trusting. I think as Americans we are always on the look out trying to make sure we don't get taken advantage of. For example I have meet a lot of foreign people over they years, and been invited over for dinner after only knowing them for a few days. I can't think of a single time this is happened with someone of american decent.

 

There is definitely a conservative factor regarding friendships and relationships. Here it's very easy for friends to come and go. People here dont really value relationships or hold them as dear as they do in Europe.

 

Having traveled frequently around europe and Europeans are definitely more accommodating and willing to trust people quicker than most Americans would. When I was in Spain me and my friends had met a girl at the airport, she showed us how to buy tickets for the train, showed us around the city and invited us up to her place for a meal all within the 3 days we were there. She didn't expect anything from us.

 

I also think the stress and tension factor related to work might be higher than it is in Europe. In several countries there its common for people to work for a few hours everyday and take the rest off. They aren't overworked like the rest of us and find time to enjoy the everyday things in life. Americans are also too distracted with technology and everything here. The majority of European nations are not as wired or hooked on technology as much as we are... At this rate the new generation of kids here are more likely to be socially retarded than the current generation with all these social networking sites.

[Woggle]

It's not just Eastern Europeans and it's not just women. At my previous job I befriended a maintenance guy who was Mexican and he invited to his family picnic and I never met such a nice and friendly group of people in my life. They didn't know me from Adam but they treated me like part of their family. I had more fun there than I ever did hanging out with the rich white American born yuppies. The women there were also nice as could be and kept pulling me out of my chair to dance.

 

American culture has become so cold and sterile that we don't know how to form relationships with others anymore.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Not really. In Europe you(americans) are known for being alot more friendly and outgoing than europeans. Out of all westerners Americans are probably the least reserved.

 

We can be a crass and flamboyant group. But I am not sure that translate into our romantic or sexual lives. When it comes to those things, we are more reserved out in the open.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Women as a whole tend to be less loving so as a man you'll kinda have to adjust your expectations. You can't expect women in any country to be as loving and passionate about you as you are of them.

 

You're right. Men are much more loving then women are.

[Woggle]

Americans might be loud and crass but there are many people incapable of actually relating to other human beings.

[TheBigQuestion]

okay

 

do WESTERN European women care less about a man's ethnic background than American women do?

 

I can't say how the women react in particular, but I do know that Western Europe was always more respectful and accommodating to black people. There's a reason so many American jazz musicians took extended vacations in or permanently moved to France in the 1950s-60s. Can't say for sure for other ethnicities.

[peppermintpaddy]

Ive been in a relationship with a russian woman for 2 years now....we're getting married in november in moscow.....am I mad?

 

PS-I dont care if I am-she's double hot...