Where is this heading?

[Bestfriend]

Hi all..

 

I m really really confused n need your input of what will be the best desicion that I can take..

 

The story goes like dis..back in 2002 I joined poly and meet my bestfriend..he is a guy(well im a lady).. We are just simply good friends..kind of plantonic relationship..so after poly I got married and slowly not so close with my bestfriend..lets put his name as M..M will occasionally call me and update me once in awhile abt the things happening in his life..and lifes go on like dat and i become pregnant and gave birth..M on the otherhand dating and met his wife and they got married 4yrs after my marriage..we are still gd frens but its just that both of us were too busy with our lives.

Time pass by and im already married for 7yrs now and M on the other hand been married for 3yrs..im sorry for dragging..so one day M call me n said he said he wants to meet and talk to me( we seldom meet).. So i met him near our houses(quite near actually).. So when we start talking,i just got to know dat M is having bad relationship with his wife..his wife claims dat she is out of love with M..just to add something here,M is actually one of d nice guys dat any girl will like..even now i always think y i missed him in my life..ok back to the story..so when he tell me abt d problem,as any other fren i console him n try to motivate him and asking him to attract his wife back,.he say ok n tried it..after a few weeks to months, we talk quite often..his life got devastated after the wife admit of having anothe guy..M was shattered..we begin to meet quite often just for chat..

One fine day while he was saying abt his life,i blabered abt mine..ok my marriage is also on the rock..my husband was addicted to some prescription medication n can be quite violent(physical,mental abuse)..this has been for 7yrs on n off every month we quarell..my husband is helpless as his addiction gets worse over time..despite of several attempt to get heal he relapse a lot often till he gives up..i as his wife have been standing by his side for this7yrs hoping he will be bck normal..so bck to my story,as i was telling dis to M,i started crying n confess that im starting to see him differently..M was shocked hearing abt my life.he is helpless..both of us was saying life have been unfair..actually i can confidently say dat M is my soulmate,so does he..but our situation is sucha helpless..

 

time goes by n feeling towards M grows each day..i hate this feeling as i do not want to have any unnecessary prob..now i know M is also having feelings for me from the way he treated me,but i guess he is confused too..i have 2 kids..if he accept me he have to also accept my kids..i can clearly see that is what holding him..he is afraid of the commitments n he also wants to have his own kids..the prob now,i try to cut his frenship a few times already,but i simply cant resist when he keeps on calling me..lately one girl likes him,he is ok with that but later he told me dat he is too afraid to get into relationship with that girl as it reminds him of what the wife did,.i told him to cut frenship with that girl n he did follow my advice..:)i got lightly confess that i liked him,he say dat im still married n should try to help my hubby to recover or else get out from the marriage and start a new..he say dat he feel very bad to like someones wife..but lately he is asking what is my decision if i will be leaving my hubby..he say i deserve better live..he also constantly say he likes me n wish to have a wife like me..

 

Now i just feel like telling M that lets build up over a new life for both of us and compliment each other,.i hope he will realize dat i will be a gd partner as we are really happy with each other company,.i really want someone to knock his head n make him understand..he will nvr regret marrying me..i m now regret having met M again n fall for him..M flies to US this morning for a short trip n will only be back 2wks later..i wanna decide something before he come..if u were in my situation..what u will do??help me guys pls..Just to add on d last piece..we nvr touch each other,nvr kiss or even hug..just hold hands one or two times in this 5mths..i really loving M!!