venusianx13 Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Yes, I was cheated on 3 times (that I know of) by my ex-fiance. And if it makes you feel any better (the part about staying with cheaters), I stayed with him even at his own mother's warnings to me. Silly, stupid attachment. It became a co-dependent relationship, where my self-worth (which was pretty much zapped to nil) depended on him. It was a messy ending, but thankfully, it ended, and for good. I dated casually for a couple of months after - didn't sleep around, didn't lead anyone on...I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, until I met someone who made me not want to be single anymore. I really thought I could put the past behind me (5 years of being lied to and cheated on), and it appeared that I was pretty emotionally healthy when I met my current boyfriend. Well, that was a mistaken appearance, as now, 7 months into our relationship, anxieties and insecurities due to conditioning from my last relationship are resurfacing. I'd strongly, strongly advise you seek some therapy before getting into another relationship. Just someone to help you re-wire your emotional habits. I wish I had... I don't think about or harbor feelings for my ex, but it is very difficult to let go of the feelings associated with being perpetually cheated on and lied to. There truly are some people out there worthy of trust, and it stinks for those of us who wasted a lot of time on people who weren't. Honestly, I'd say that once you run through the emotions of the loss and remind yourself of his negative qualities each and every day, you will become indifferent to him. You may even pity him. But be very aware of any residual, unresolved mental and emotional habits you have that may resurface in the future.
JayL Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Yes, I was cheated on 3 times (that I know of) by my ex-fiance. And if it makes you feel any better (the part about staying with cheaters), I stayed with him even at his own mother's warnings to me. Silly, stupid attachment. It became a co-dependent relationship, where my self-worth (which was pretty much zapped to nil) depended on him. It was a messy ending, but thankfully, it ended, and for good. I dated casually for a couple of months after - didn't sleep around, didn't lead anyone on...I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, until I met someone who made me not want to be single anymore. I really thought I could put the past behind me (5 years of being lied to and cheated on), and it appeared that I was pretty emotionally healthy when I met my current boyfriend. Well, that was a mistaken appearance, as now, 7 months into our relationship, anxieties and insecurities due to conditioning from my last relationship are resurfacing. I'd strongly, strongly advise you seek some therapy before getting into another relationship. Just someone to help you re-wire your emotional habits. I wish I had... I don't think about or harbor feelings for my ex, but it is very difficult to let go of the feelings associated with being perpetually cheated on and lied to. There truly are some people out there worthy of trust, and it stinks for those of us who wasted a lot of time on people who weren't. Honestly, I'd say that once you run through the emotions of the loss and remind yourself of his negative qualities each and every day, you will become indifferent to him. You may even pity him. But be very aware of any residual, unresolved mental and emotional habits you have that may resurface in the future. How long has it been since you and your ex-fiance had broken up until you met your current boyfriend? Perhaps you needed more time to mend?...
Author sendme Posted October 12, 2012 Author Posted October 12, 2012 run through the emotions of the loss and remind yourself of his negative qualities each and every day, you will become indifferent to him. You may even pity him. But be very aware of any residual, unresolved mental and emotional habits you have that may resurface in the future. Thank you!! I hope this becomes more and more true... Not gonna lie today was 11 days nc... And although I'm very proud of myself... I would live for him to knock in my door tonight and hold me... It would be stupid shallow sex, but to sleep and his chest and be lost in his body just for a while would feel amazing!! At least until tomorrow... nights are the hardest from about 8:30 to 11 I am so lonely!
JayL Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 Thank you!! I hope this becomes more and more true... Not gonna lie today was 11 days nc... And although I'm very proud of myself... I would live for him to knock in my door tonight and hold me... It would be stupid shallow sex, but to sleep and his chest and be lost in his body just for a while would feel amazing!! At least until tomorrow... nights are the hardest from about 8:30 to 11 I am so lonely! I am going through that loneliness right now.... It will all pass... watch TV series... Dexter Season 7 just started. Suits, perhaps?
Author sendme Posted October 12, 2012 Author Posted October 12, 2012 I am going through that loneliness right now.... It will all pass... watch TV series... Dexter Season 7 just started. Suits, perhaps? Not a bad idea!! I'm a med student so school keeps me busy... But still there are times when I just want to spend time with him... For tonight though I'm going to browse LS then go for a run!
JayL Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 Not a bad idea!! I'm a med student so school keeps me busy... But still there are times when I just want to spend time with him... For tonight though I'm going to browse LS then go for a run! Check your inbox. You'll have something to do tonight.
Author sendme Posted October 12, 2012 Author Posted October 12, 2012 Someone in another thread posted about dating yourself to pass the time and restore confidence... I thought that was a great suggestion!
Later82012 Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 If they cheat on me it's their problem. There is nothing for me to recover from. I am always alright.
Later82012 Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 Someone in another thread posted about dating yourself to pass the time and restore confidence... I thought that was a great suggestion! You are exceptionally beautiful and hot as well. What more do you need for confidence? Open your door and see there is a long line of men. I am first in line, please don't ignore me.
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