beyond Posted September 27, 2012 Posted September 27, 2012 You don't delete people from your life. You leave people be who don't want you in their lives, at least not in the capacity that you desire. Let me illustrate this: Let's say you have a small grocery store in your neighbourhood. You really like strawberry flavoured slushies, they make you happy and brighten even the bad days, but the store owner decides to no longer stock them. He used to, but for one reason or another that is outside of your control he now no longer wants to offer them. He still sells lemon flavoured slushies, but those don't agree with you and make you sick. So, what do you do? Do you keep going there and demand strawberry slushies, hoping that if you nag long enough and display your interest in strawberry slushies, he'll stock them again, even though he does not want to sell them? Do you then just buy the lemon slushies and deal with the stomach cramps, thinking that this is better than no slushies at all? Or do you acknowledge and accept that your needs are not compatible with the shop owner's desires and make the deliberate decision to go and look for a store that is selling strawberry slushies? Looking for a shop that offers strawberry slushies is what NC is. Getting yourself sick with lemon slushies is what denial is. Lol Calico - you are the king/queen of the metaphors! 1
JayL Posted September 27, 2012 Posted September 27, 2012 I think NC is real easy once you drill in the fact that there is no hope. I think hope is what keeps many of us here hurting. Hope that they'll reach out. Hope that they'll change their mind. Hope that they're sitting at home pining over us. Hope that they'll realize what they lost. Forget it. There is no hope. They walked because they no longer wanted us. The sooner you accept this, the easier it will be to maintain NC. I mean, why would you want someone who doesn't even want you? Don't you think you're worth more? I've been NC with my ex since 5/8/2012. No cracks. Do I miss what we had? I miss what I thought we had. I regret wasting so much time with someone who didn't treat me right. I have ZERO desire to speak to him, ZERO desire to reach out, and honestly wouldn't care if we never spoke again. He's dead to me. Same page here... except I'm a dude and my ex treated me so casually and only spent time with me when her friends aren't available. What a B...
KatZee Posted September 27, 2012 Posted September 27, 2012 Same page here... except I'm a dude and my ex treated me so casually and only spent time with me when her friends aren't available. What a B... My ex did this too. Only planned things with me around his schedule. It was when it was convenient for HIM. Forget it if I ever asked to do anything. Something was always going on. He was staying late at work. Or had friends he had to see, or some family obligation, or this, or that. I came second to everything and anything.
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