xMM wants to see me after 2.5 years

[frenchdoll]

Hi everyone,

 

fOW here. I had an A that lasted over 4 years; I am divorced, he is married. We met at work (company no longer exists). Passionate, torrid affair; I never felt so sexy or desirable in my life. I ended it numerous times out of frustration (he never tried to end it) and for good in 2010 after he committed to moving forward with me officially then reneged. His W guessed what was going on but all she said to him was 'Don't make me look like an ahole'.

The A took a huge toll on my self-esteem, my happiness, you name it I was hurt pretty badly, I paid the price. The highs were amazing and the lows intolerable. It was a huge struggle to get over him and I made a lot of progress through books, therapy etc. I also hated him a lot but I got over it lol.

 

Fast forward to now. Last year I moved near his city but did not make any effort to reconnect. He knew I was now in the area and from time to time I would get a few texts asking me how I was doing. Then a month ago I got an epic phone call from him that lasted 2 hours, it's like someone had shot him up with truth serum (aka booze, I suspect:rolleyes:) and a ton of stuff came out about him second-guessing his decision not to be with me, bla bla bla. Telling me that his situation with his W was the same. We talk about possibly making plans to meet. He said he would love to see me and that he has thought about me every single day since we last saw each other 2 years ago.

 

Last weekend I talked with him on the phone, we were trying to make plans to meet but it was like my body was saying NO, he would ask me for specifics and the words literally would not come out of my mouth. I told him I would think about it but that I wanted to see him.

 

Then I thought about it some more. I thought about being all dolled up, forced to sit across from him during dinner at a fancy restaurant and listening to him tell me all about his fabulous life, the one he excluded me from. Part of me wants to see him again for that selfish high from his adoration. But another part of me doesn't want to be the OW ever again. I was also wondering if I just simply was making too much of a big deal about this and I could just meet with him and see what happens; I could always walk away. I was pretty muddled.

 

Anyway this morning I woke up feeling unhappy about our recent contact. I wrote to him that I didn't want to see him because it still hurts that he didn't choose me. All he said was 'I understand' and nothing else. I cried from the feelings of rejection being dredged up that I thought I had already worked through so long ago.

 

Can anyone else relate to this? I thought it was all in the past and now this. I think it would be best for me not to see him, I don't see anything good coming out of it and I am not convinced we could just be 'friends' so what would be the point?? I guess he is trying to feel out if I am open to starting the A again... I am leery about this 'I am second-guessing my choice' BS

 

......!!

[veryhappy]

Pat yourself on the back. You listened to yourself and you were right. He told you that nothing changed (including him getting a divorce), so he's obviously looking to resume the good times. He doesn't get it that you haven't stayed in the same place. If he contacts you again, tell him that unless he's available, he should stay away.

 

I'm two weeks out of the "was going to divorce and be with me, but didn't", and I am sure you felt the pain I feel now. Don't hesitate. You did the right thing, and I share not wanting to be the OW. Let him live his allegedly happy life with his W, and you can live yours.

[2sunny]

I didn't read anywhere that he's now divorced.

 

I never go backwards - that would be me betraying MYSELF and what's best for me.

 

He isn't offering you anything - except to become his OW again.

 

I'd say NO WAY - stop contacting me!

 

Never ever settle! You deserve better than what he's offering!

[whichwayisup]

. I ended it numerous times out of frustration (he never tried to end it) and for good in 2010 after he committed to moving forward with me officially then reneged. His W guessed what was going on but all she said to him was 'Don't make me look like an ahole'.

The A took a huge toll on my self-esteem, my happiness, you name it I was hurt pretty badly, I paid the price. The highs were amazing and the lows intolerable. It was a huge struggle to get over him and I made a lot of progress through books, therapy etc. I also hated him a lot but I got over it lol.

 

Read this 100 times!! WHY on earth would you drop your life, drop all this progress, your growth and healing, grieving the loss of your exMM, 2 years later and he calls you and boom! You're now gonna see him? Where's your self worth? Pride? After everything he put you though, you put yourself though!! You paid a huge price...suffered...And now you're talking to him again.

 

I'm not judging you, but you need to ask yourself why after all that pain you went through, why you'd go there again, even more so since this guy isn't divorced.

 

If you were still in counselling, what would you therapist advise you to do?

[whichwayisup]

Okay, I jumped the gun, sorry I came out full force there..

I don't want to see you get hurt again.

 

I'm glad to see that you're realizing this is a mistake, getting involved, even casually. One coffee, one meal would be the beginning of another bad rollercoaster for you.

[carhill]

Can anyone else relate to this?

 

Yup, and it was the second contact, nearly a generation later, which cured me. The person in question had finally divorced after 20 years but conveniently had found a boyfriend in the interim. Interesting how that works.

 

Freedom is a wonderful thing.

 

Now, block his phone number and emails and move on with life. Good luck

[sad puppy]

You said you would feel good and get a high from being with him. You'll get a better high, and feel way better about yourself when you leave his sorry, cheating, lying ass by the side of the road and just keep walking. Do it.

[frenchdoll]

Pat yourself on the back. You listened to yourself and you were right. He told you that nothing changed (including him getting a divorce), so he's obviously looking to resume the good times. He doesn't get it that you haven't stayed in the same place. If he contacts you again, tell him that unless he's available, he should stay away.

 

I'm two weeks out of the "was going to divorce and be with me, but didn't", and I am sure you felt the pain I feel now. Don't hesitate. You did the right thing, and I share not wanting to be the OW. Let him live his allegedly happy life with his W, and you can live yours.

 

hi cutedragon,

I'm sorry this happened to you too. It's hard. He's definitely not the type to change anything in his life and now that I am 2 and a half years out even if he was free I don't think I would want him. How could I ever want someone who did to me what he did. I grew a newfound sense of self-worth in the aftermath lol

 

If I could offer something - the years tend to fuzz things up. I had kept the emails we exchanged around the time of him committing to me then reneging. I drudged them up from my archive today and re-read them. They definitely helped me make the decision not to see him at all. I wish you a good recovery to happiness and I am here if you ever want to compare notes

 

frenchy

[2sure]

Seriously. A "fancy" dinner is all it takes? Come on.

[frenchdoll]

Hi everyone, thank you for the feedback and confirming my choice not to see him. I had been out of the 'A' world for a while now and I think my defenses were down Just goes to show. This afternoon I was feeling the bad energy so I went for a massage, I felt so relaxed that I fell asleep when I got home and when I woke up the first thing I thought was 'You are Free'... checked my email and got zero, zip from him. That just confirms he was looking for cake and doesn't care about me. I won't be his prey though... he even mentioned that he was looking at taking a job in my city and would be able to come for 'lunch' often... arghhhhhh

 

It took a lot of time, therapy and reading self-help books to understand why it all happened. I was repeating an ingrained pattern of getting involved in A's so I could walk away when I wanted to and not get emotionally attached. Until I 'fell in love' with this MM. After him I had a couple of very short-lived A's where I ended up feeling disgusted after getting physical and got rid of them. I am proud to say I have not had any A's for 18 months now and have no plans to change.

[whichwayisup]

Now do yourself a huge favour. Block his email address! Good riddence.

[AnotherRound]

Hi everyone,

 

fOW here. I had an A that lasted over 4 years; I am divorced, he is married. We met at work (company no longer exists). Passionate, torrid affair; I never felt so sexy or desirable in my life. I ended it numerous times out of frustration (he never tried to end it) and for good in 2010 after he committed to moving forward with me officially then reneged. His W guessed what was going on but all she said to him was 'Don't make me look like an ahole'.

The A took a huge toll on my self-esteem, my happiness, you name it I was hurt pretty badly, I paid the price. The highs were amazing and the lows intolerable. It was a huge struggle to get over him and I made a lot of progress through books, therapy etc. I also hated him a lot but I got over it lol.

 

Fast forward to now. Last year I moved near his city but did not make any effort to reconnect. He knew I was now in the area and from time to time I would get a few texts asking me how I was doing. Then a month ago I got an epic phone call from him that lasted 2 hours, it's like someone had shot him up with truth serum (aka booze, I suspect:rolleyes:) and a ton of stuff came out about him second-guessing his decision not to be with me, bla bla bla. Telling me that his situation with his W was the same. We talk about possibly making plans to meet. He said he would love to see me and that he has thought about me every single day since we last saw each other 2 years ago.

 

Last weekend I talked with him on the phone, we were trying to make plans to meet but it was like my body was saying NO, he would ask me for specifics and the words literally would not come out of my mouth. I told him I would think about it but that I wanted to see him.

 

Then I thought about it some more. I thought about being all dolled up, forced to sit across from him during dinner at a fancy restaurant and listening to him tell me all about his fabulous life, the one he excluded me from. Part of me wants to see him again for that selfish high from his adoration. But another part of me doesn't want to be the OW ever again. I was also wondering if I just simply was making too much of a big deal about this and I could just meet with him and see what happens; I could always walk away. I was pretty muddled.

 

Anyway this morning I woke up feeling unhappy about our recent contact. I wrote to him that I didn't want to see him because it still hurts that he didn't choose me. All he said was 'I understand' and nothing else. I cried from the feelings of rejection being dredged up that I thought I had already worked through so long ago.

 

Can anyone else relate to this? I thought it was all in the past and now this. I think it would be best for me not to see him, I don't see anything good coming out of it and I am not convinced we could just be 'friends' so what would be the point?? I guess he is trying to feel out if I am open to starting the A again... I am leery about this 'I am second-guessing my choice' BS

 

......!!

 

My story has a few similarities to yours, including the coming back - but my exMM is in the process of divorce. I know exactly what you mean with the frustration of feeling like you had worked through it all - and then one phone call can seem like it sets you right back to square one! ExMM has just gotten in touch with me in the past couple of weeks, and since then, it has been a whirlwind of emotions = emotions that I thought I was LONG past after walking away a year and a half ago.

 

Thing is, in these situations, there is not usually the "normal" break of the relationship. As, the marriage is always the big thing keeping a full relationship from taking place. So, I think that always leaves some curiosity of what might have been if the circumstances were different. So, if the circumstances change, it can be really difficult to just walk away without knowing. But I think in your case the MM is still married? For me, if exMM had contacted me while still married an while not making any moves towards a divorce, I would have been a strong "no", in that that was the main "problem" in our relationship, lol. So, if that wasn't different, there was no point for me bc I already walked away and did not ever want it the same as it was.

 

And those feelings of rejection can get anybody - nobody is immune to that. But he is choosing you on some level - you just have to decide if that's enough of choosing you, and it sounds like it is definitely not. So, asserting a good strong boundary is a good thing to do, imo. And it sounds like you did that beautifully. He probably just answered "I understand" bc he knew how foolish it sounded for him to be coming back to you after the way he handled it the last time... maybe he was just hoping that you had forgotten about that???? Men, jeez...

 

I think it's great that you went back to the old emails - as that is a true representation of the situation, whereas your memory might not remember it quite accurately (we tend to remember things MUCH better than they ever were in these situations, human nature). I do the same with journals. I can read about what I was truly feeling, and about exactly what was happening - that can be a life saver sometimes since our memories are prone to lie to us about these things at times.

 

I'm glad you shared... and will be interested to see if there are any new developments... and sending you strength and peace.

[2sunny]

The only thing he's offering now - is for you to step back into that OW role for HIM.

 

Take care of YOU - no one else will do this for you. Depend on yourself to make good, healthy decisions for you and your future!

 

I don't see how going backwards is healthy. I'd block him from every form of communication - but that's just me...

[Ladydrib]

Hi everyone,

 

 

Fast forward to now. Last year I moved near his city but did not make any effort to reconnect. He knew I was now in the area and from time to time I would get a few texts asking me how I was doing. Then a month ago I got an epic phone call from him that lasted 2 hours, it's like someone had shot him up with truth serum (aka booze, I suspect:rolleyes:) and a ton of stuff came out about him second-guessing his decision not to be with me, bla bla bla. Telling me that his situation with his W was the same. We talk about possibly making plans to meet. He said he would love to see me and that he has thought about me every single day since we last saw each other 2 years ago.

 

Last weekend I talked with him on the phone, we were trying to make plans to meet but it was like my body was saying NO, he would ask me for specifics and the words literally would not come out of my mouth. I told him I would think about it but that I wanted to see him.

 

Then I thought about it some more. I thought about being all dolled up, forced to sit across from him during dinner at a fancy restaurant and listening to him tell me all about his fabulous life, the one he excluded me from. Part of me wants to see him again for that selfish high from his adoration. But another part of me doesn't want to be the OW ever again. I was also wondering if I just simply was making too much of a big deal about this and I could just meet with him and see what happens; I could always walk away. I was pretty muddled.

 

Anyway this morning I woke up feeling unhappy about our recent contact. I wrote to him that I didn't want to see him because it still hurts that he didn't choose me. All he said was 'I understand' and nothing else. I cried from the feelings of rejection being dredged up that I thought I had already worked through so long ago.

 

Can anyone else relate to this? I thought it was all in the past and now this. I think it would be best for me not to see him, I don't see anything good coming out of it and I am not convinced we could just be 'friends' so what would be the point?? I guess he is trying to feel out if I am open to starting the A again... I am leery about this 'I am second-guessing my choice' BS

 

......!!

 

Definitely do not see him again. Just think, you haven't seen him in over two years. You put your position on the table, and all he had to say was "I understand"??? What an a**. And you know that cut deep. But do you know why? It hurt because it's a sugar coated admission that he has nothing more to offer you but false hopes, insecurity, feeling of being trapped, pain, aka an affair. See thorugh his disguised words. Do not doubt. "I understand" means, you cannot accept his terms, and he can't satisfy yours. Do not set yourself back to the beginning of this. Just ignore him. I don't care if he's even expecting a response. You owe him nothing! That's the one positive of an affair. There is no mess to resolve. No guilt to be inflicted about ignoring him/walking away. All you need to do, is do it. And you can. :-)

[2sunny]

He probably has had another OW the past 2.5 years - and she probably got tired of his crappy lies - and started to understand his reality = empty promises with a man that's NOT going to maker HER his priority.

 

You should want more for yourself than what he's looking for.

 

He's offering sex- or trying to take that from you for what? The price of a dinner? Whoa!!! Tell him to go pay a professional!

 

Your feelings are involved and he's likely to hurt you!

[AnotherRound]

Eh, maybe he's had another OW, maybe not. I don't know that that would be my deciding factor in this situation.

 

I think for me it would be that he had backed out of a very big promise, and doesn't seem to be any closer to that than before - so, what would be accomplished by seeing him? If I was the OP, I would explore WHY she even considered seeing him. Closure? Curiosity? What was it? Then I would go from there.

 

I think that telling you just NOT to see him is much easier said than done, and making a complicated situation seem simple. If you are struggling with it, there is a reason - and no, I have no idea what the reason is. But, I would be game, if I was you, to figure that reason out and fix whatever it was. That way, if this happens again (and it might?), you will not have the push pull emotional upset... it won't even be a blip. But I don't think you can get to that point UNTIL you figure out WHY one small contact was able to do that to you. Just my 2 cents.

[frenchdoll]

My story has a few similarities to yours, including the coming back - but my exMM is in the process of divorce. I know exactly what you mean with the frustration of feeling like you had worked through it all - and then one phone call can seem like it sets you right back to square one! ExMM has just gotten in touch with me in the past couple of weeks, and since then, it has been a whirlwind of emotions = emotions that I thought I was LONG past after walking away a year and a half ago.

 

Thing is, in these situations, there is not usually the "normal" break of the relationship. As, the marriage is always the big thing keeping a full relationship from taking place. So, I think that always leaves some curiosity of what might have been if the circumstances were different. So, if the circumstances change, it can be really difficult to just walk away without knowing. But I think in your case the MM is still married? For me, if exMM had contacted me while still married an while not making any moves towards a divorce, I would have been a strong "no", in that that was the main "problem" in our relationship, lol. So, if that wasn't different, there was no point for me bc I already walked away and did not ever want it the same as it was.

 

And those feelings of rejection can get anybody - nobody is immune to that. But he is choosing you on some level - you just have to decide if that's enough of choosing you, and it sounds like it is definitely not. So, asserting a good strong boundary is a good thing to do, imo. And it sounds like you did that beautifully. He probably just answered "I understand" bc he knew how foolish it sounded for him to be coming back to you after the way he handled it the last time... maybe he was just hoping that you had forgotten about that???? Men, jeez...

 

I think it's great that you went back to the old emails - as that is a true representation of the situation, whereas your memory might not remember it quite accurately (we tend to remember things MUCH better than they ever were in these situations, human nature). I do the same with journals. I can read about what I was truly feeling, and about exactly what was happening - that can be a life saver sometimes since our memories are prone to lie to us about these things at times.

 

I'm glad you shared... and will be interested to see if there are any new developments... and sending you strength and peace.

 

Hi AnotherRound,

Thanks for sharing your story; I can imagine what you are going through right now. Yes my xMM is still married, still keeping separate bedrooms, bla bla bla. Honestly if he divorced I am not sure I would get involved with him. The fact that he was quite happy keeping me in the role of the OW in the shadows for all those years speaks a lot of his character, I think. He is a very self-centric person and would manipulate me into fitting exactly in his schedule - for example, not on the weekends because he was at his country house, etc etc (has no kids). He would very rarely change his schedule to accommodate me and I think this kind of behavior would continue even if we were a legitimate couple.

In addition to the emails I also wrote a 'Code Book' for the lines he would feed me and what they really meant. For example, 'I miss you = I need a BJ right now, then I can go home to the W and eat the dinner she prepared just for me' kind of scathing but it kept things in perspective when the details would get fuzzy. Good luck sorting through everything with your STBD MM...!

[2sunny]

Hi AnotherRound,

Thanks for sharing your story; I can imagine what you are going through right now. Yes my xMM is still married, still keeping separate bedrooms, bla bla bla. Honestly if he divorced I am not sure I would get involved with him. The fact that he was quite happy keeping me in the role of the OW in the shadows for all those years speaks a lot of his character, I think. He is a very self-centric person and would manipulate me into fitting exactly in his schedule - for example, not on the weekends because he was at his country house, etc etc (has no kids). He would very rarely change his schedule to accommodate me and I think this kind of behavior would continue even if we were a legitimate couple.

In addition to the emails I also wrote a 'Code Book' for the lines he would feed me and what they really meant. For example, 'I miss you = I need a BJ right now, then I can go home to the W and eat the dinner she prepared just for me' kind of scathing but it kept things in perspective when the details would get fuzzy. Good luck sorting through everything with your STBD MM...!

 

Instead of thinking what role he would have you play for his convenience - why not choose a role for yourself that's healthy - as in tell him NO WAY!

 

You need to ask YOURSELF why you would settle for so little? And why you would purposely become a mans option instead of his priority? And why you think so little of yourself to consider this again?

 

And ask yourself HOW you can think more of yourself by making new choices for yourself based on solid and healthy boundaries. How are YOU going to make that happen?

[frenchdoll]

Eh, maybe he's had another OW, maybe not. I don't know that that would be my deciding factor in this situation.

 

I think for me it would be that he had backed out of a very big promise, and doesn't seem to be any closer to that than before - so, what would be accomplished by seeing him? If I was the OP, I would explore WHY she even considered seeing him. Closure? Curiosity? What was it? Then I would go from there.

 

I think that telling you just NOT to see him is much easier said than done, and making a complicated situation seem simple. If you are struggling with it, there is a reason - and no, I have no idea what the reason is. But, I would be game, if I was you, to figure that reason out and fix whatever it was. That way, if this happens again (and it might?), you will not have the push pull emotional upset... it won't even be a blip. But I don't think you can get to that point UNTIL you figure out WHY one small contact was able to do that to you. Just my 2 cents.

 

Why I considered seeing him - I am fairly new to this area and there have been major changes in my life ever since my move (new job, etc). I've been having a harder time settling in as a result and have not made many friends so far (totally my fault), so I get lonely sometimes. I also recently broke up with someone that wasn't right for me (Single man) and was disappointed over that failure. I was feeling nostalgic and was kind of glossing over the 'bad times and pain' with xMM in my memory... until the time came to commit to a rendez-vous with him. I couldn't do it. My body said NO for me. I can't throw away all the progress I've made. There are other men out there...

He made references to how passionate we were and how we would never find this again with other people. I told him I disagreed and was holding out hope of finding passion with someone else eventually... I hope that happens soon because I really miss the high. My face would literally glow when I was with him. I want that again but with someone available, and not him!!

[Summer Breeze]

I agree with everyone else on this thread frenchy. You've made the break and if he's offering nothing more than before then he's not worth listening to.

 

Someone made the comment you could go on with your life and he could continue on with what he chose -- wise words. He stayed put and has evidently done nothing to make himself or the situation better. Let him stew in it. If you want to put a true end to it you don't need to block him. Just tell him the next time he sends something you'll be forwarding it to his W. That'll put the brakes on.

[canuckprincess]

Hi everyone,

 

fOW here. I had an A that lasted over 4 years; I am divorced, he is married. We met at work (company no longer exists). Passionate, torrid affair; I never felt so sexy or desirable in my life. I ended it numerous times out of frustration (he never tried to end it) and for good in 2010 after he committed to moving forward with me officially then reneged. His W guessed what was going on but all she said to him was 'Don't make me look like an ahole'.

The A took a huge toll on my self-esteem, my happiness, you name it I was hurt pretty badly, I paid the price. The highs were amazing and the lows intolerable. It was a huge struggle to get over him and I made a lot of progress through books, therapy etc. I also hated him a lot but I got over it lol.

 

Fast forward to now. Last year I moved near his city but did not make any effort to reconnect. He knew I was now in the area and from time to time I would get a few texts asking me how I was doing. Then a month ago I got an epic phone call from him that lasted 2 hours, it's like someone had shot him up with truth serum (aka booze, I suspect:rolleyes:) and a ton of stuff came out about him second-guessing his decision not to be with me, bla bla bla. Telling me that his situation with his W was the same. We talk about possibly making plans to meet. He said he would love to see me and that he has thought about me every single day since we last saw each other 2 years ago.

 

Last weekend I talked with him on the phone, we were trying to make plans to meet but it was like my body was saying NO, he would ask me for specifics and the words literally would not come out of my mouth. I told him I would think about it but that I wanted to see him.

 

Then I thought about it some more. I thought about being all dolled up, forced to sit across from him during dinner at a fancy restaurant and listening to him tell me all about his fabulous life, the one he excluded me from. Part of me wants to see him again for that selfish high from his adoration. But another part of me doesn't want to be the OW ever again. I was also wondering if I just simply was making too much of a big deal about this and I could just meet with him and see what happens; I could always walk away. I was pretty muddled.

 

Anyway this morning I woke up feeling unhappy about our recent contact. I wrote to him that I didn't want to see him because it still hurts that he didn't choose me. All he said was 'I understand' and nothing else. I cried from the feelings of rejection being dredged up that I thought I had already worked through so long ago.

 

Can anyone else relate to this? I thought it was all in the past and now this. I think it would be best for me not to see him, I don't see anything good coming out of it and I am not convinced we could just be 'friends' so what would be the point?? I guess he is trying to feel out if I am open to starting the A again... I am leery about this 'I am second-guessing my choice' BS

 

......!!

 

 

WOW I can certainly relate to parts of your story. I wanted to prvate message you but I guess until you have more posts I can't. I can't post here what I want to tell you cause it may upset someone. Oh well maybe in time I can give you my story, like I said alot like yours.

[frenchdoll]

WOW I can certainly relate to parts of your story. I wanted to prvate message you but I guess until you have more posts I can't. I can't post here what I want to tell you cause it may upset someone. Oh well maybe in time I can give you my story, like I said alot like yours.

 

Hi Canuckprincess, feel free to PM me anytime, I can certainly empathize with others that have gone though something similar. I'll check to make sure PM is not disabled in my profile. hugs, FD xo

[frenchdoll]

Well not much of an update today; he has gone NC on me since the lame 'I understand' response. I had a huge job interview today (third one for the same position), he knew about it and said (prior to me emailing him that I couldn't see him in person) he couldn't wait to hear about how it went. I guess I'm only interesting to him if he's trying to get a piece of me. bottom-feeding, scum-sucking loser...

 

I like the post about telling him that any future forms of communication will be forwarded to W. That should scare his pansy-a$$ away for good... the more I think about it the more I feel that I would be much happier if I knew there was no way he would try to contact me. MMs are not good for a girl's peace of mind, that's for sure...

[AnotherRound]

Well not much of an update today; he has gone NC on me since the lame 'I understand' response. I had a huge job interview today (third one for the same position), he knew about it and said (prior to me emailing him that I couldn't see him in person) he couldn't wait to hear about how it went. I guess I'm only interesting to him if he's trying to get a piece of me. bottom-feeding, scum-sucking loser...

 

I like the post about telling him that any future forms of communication will be forwarded to W. That should scare his pansy-a$$ away for good... the more I think about it the more I feel that I would be much happier if I knew there was no way he would try to contact me. MMs are not good for a girl's peace of mind, that's for sure...

 

Ugh at him. That's why I stopped seeing the SG I was most interested in - he would go 3 weeks with no communication after something big in my life and thought that was acceptable. Obviously I disagreed.

 

Eh, any type of intimate relationship can be not good for a girl's piece of mind - it all depends on who the partner is. Hang in there, this guy is obviously not the one for you - married or not!