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If Separation = Divorce, Alternatives?


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Posted

I am apparently completely unproductive at work and am spending my day on LS, and have noticed time and time again that people equate separation with divorce. I'm a rookie here...and the PA was just exposed and I'm not ready to pull the trigger on a D...but I don't really understand the realistic alternatives other than separation. If my H is in the house with me and our son, I am going to have a very hard time acting as happy/normal as I can than if it's just me and our son. I would think our son would pick up on all the negative vibes, which could be worse than just not having the H around.

 

What are all the options? Assume that MC is ongoing through any of these, of course...

 

Full separation?

 

A separation of a certain duration and then both people have to get back in the house to see if it's possible to co-exist?

 

Live in the same house in separate bedrooms? What impact does that have on kids realizing that's going on?

 

Live in the same house in the same room but not in the same bed?

 

Live in the same house in the same room in the same bed?

 

What have you found works? Doesn't work?

Posted

You could tell your H to go and stay in an extended-stay hotel for a week or so.

Posted

Murder? Just kidding...

 

Maybe you could take a long holiday or something, if possible?

Posted

My husband and I did a full 3 month separation and now we see each other a couple times a week. It has worked for us.

 

How old is your son? here is some helpful info on separation:

 

Children and Separation

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Posted

Holidays aren't an option with work, unfortunately.

 

H is currently staying at a hotel, and a nice one, which doesn't seem all that fair. I voted for the skeeziest, most bug infested location, but alas...

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Posted

I get to be at home with our son. I'd take that over a hotel any day. But your point is noted.

Posted

All of those choices you mentioned are options, but you have to do what feels right for you. Can you live in the same house with him without having the negative emotions? Will it feel worse knowing he is in another room?

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