bob the brave Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 I have seen girls occasionally reject guys because, "He would be shorter than me when I wear heels." Some people say these girls are shallow and immature, but is it really? I think most people would agree that a tall/girl short/boy couple does look a bit odd although I know it shouldn't and doesn't really matter. Yet there it is. What do you think? Shallow or valid requisite. Please don't tell me a person's requisites are their own business and they are valid for that person. I know that, but I'm asking what YOU think.
TigerCub Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 Oooh another Height and Dating thread Has it been 12 hours already?! 7
DC4 Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 I think it's wrong to call a person shallow because someone isn't attractive to them. I personally won't date a guy who is shorter than me when I wear heels. I certainly wouldn't date a guy who was shorter than me in general. It's no different than any other preference. It's like calling me shallow because I don't like mayonnaise.
JamesM Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 IMO it all comes down to whom we are attracted. I have friends that married each other and he is shorter. They have been married for over 25 years. Personally, I needed a wife who is shorter. Yet I had a good friend who was taller and was interested in me. If height was the only difference, then there would be no short people genetically anymore.
TigerCub Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 I have seen girls occasionally reject guys because, "He would be shorter than me when I wear heels." Some people say these girls are shallow and immature, but is it really? I think most people would agree that a tall/girl short/boy couple does look a bit odd although I know it shouldn't and doesn't really matter. Yet there it is. What do you think? Shallow or valid requisite. Please don't tell me a person's requisites are their own business and they are valid for that person. I know that, but I'm asking what YOU think. Op, the height debate is never going to end. Just like the majority of guys don't want fat girls, or flat girls, why can't girls not want fat guys or short guys or whatever. We like what we like and people need to just accept that and find someone that will like them as they are. I personally think everyone has a right to their standards and that when we do meet the person that makes us swoon and makes us feel all lovey inside, a lot of us drop that image of the person we always pictured ourselves with. We make exceptions when it matters. That's what I believe, a lot don't buy it, but so be it.
Author bob the brave Posted September 26, 2012 Author Posted September 26, 2012 I personally think everyone has a right to their standards and that when we do meet the person that makes us swoon and makes us feel all lovey inside, a lot of us drop that image of the person we always pictured ourselves with. We make exceptions when it matters. I believe you're right, but what concerns me is what happens when this isn't the case. The 'shallow' conetation comes about when we see someone who is a fantastic person rejected in favor of a jerk or a b**** because of some physical trait. It's one thing to favor a certain physical trait over another, and quite another to favor a physical trait over character. That is shallow. Consdier this: We might then say, "yes, but I would drop them as soon as I find out they're a jerk or a b****." But, by not giving equal chance to everyone (within reason) are we not immediately excluding character for appearance by making it a priority. That is, aren't most all us of shallow?
AD1980 Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 Everyones entitled to preferences..do i think its a little over the top shallow when a women uses a guy as an acessory and wouldnt give him a chance because shes the same height in like 5 or 6 inch heels? Yes but im better off then being with someone that vain and shallow who picks an acessory over a potential great partner.. I never knew how important height was till i went on internet forums..quite honestly me joining all these sites has hurt my esteem more then helping seeing how many women arent attractd to men under a certain magical height..
TigerCub Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 I believe you're right, but what concerns me is what happens when this isn't the case. The 'shallow' conetation comes about when we see someone who is a fantastic person rejected in favor of a jerk or a b**** because of some physical trait. It's one thing to favor a certain physical trait over another, and quite another to favor a physical trait over character. That is shallow. How do you know the person that got chosen over the short guy is a jerk? Maybe there is more to the guy that was chosen than his height. The thing is, a lot of people that do get rejected for whatever reason just assume and complain that they are "too nice" and they get passed up for the "playas and the bad boys and the jerks" - that's not always the case, just because 1 guy won over the other doesn't mean that the guy that won won because he was the bad boy. Do some awesome guys get overlooked and not given a chance because of a physical trait? - yes, I'm sure that happens, and its not fair, but life isn't fair. At the same time do some awesome and nice girls get overlooked because they're not hot or they're not thin enough? - sure, and yeah it sucks for them too. Consdier this: We might then say, "yes, but I would drop them as soon as I find out they're a jerk or a b****." But, by not giving equal chance to everyone (within reason) are we not immediately excluding character for appearance by making it a priority. That is, aren't most all us of shallow? Life isn't fair and sometimes really good people get the **** end of the stick, but it happens all around. That's not going to change. I don't think someone should have to date every person that asks them out and every person they're not attracted to just so they can say they gave them a chance and did their humanitarian duty. People like what they like and if whatever standards/preferences they have cause them to lose a chance on being with someone truly special, then its their loss in the end. Isn't it?
SteveC80 Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 Everyones entitled to preferences..do i think its a little over the top shallow when a women uses a guy as an acessory and wouldnt give him a chance because shes the same height in like 5 or 6 inch heels? Yes but im better off then being with someone that vain and shallow who picks an acessory over a potential great partner.. I never knew how important height was till i went on internet forums..quite honestly me joining all these sites has hurt my esteem more then helping seeing how many women arent attractd to men under a certain magical height.. Contrary to popular believe looks are probably even more important to women then men...I learned this the positive way i guess since it helped me get women but i saw the shallow side of women and things theyd try to do to lure me in it soured me on women as a whole and seen an ugly side of them As a short dude youre gonna have o go for more plain and ugly girls because good looking or decent looking wotmen with options will pick the tall man
Author bob the brave Posted September 26, 2012 Author Posted September 26, 2012 (edited) I never knew how important height was till i went on internet forums..quite honestly me joining all these sites has hurt my esteem more then helping seeing how many women arent attractd to men under a certain magical height.. Funny, got along great with a girl at work until she asked my height right out of the blue (5'9", she is 5'7"). Then she avoided me like the plauge. I respected that, was still nice but gave her space even though she made jokes about it to coworkers. Then she hooked up with a married player who abused her, dumped and went all around the office telling everyone he did her! She then came running back to me, saying what a jerk this guy is and wanted to know if I still cared! Of course, I politely showed her the door although it broke my heart. But, if I had been 2" taller she would have avoided the player and found a guy who would have cared. It's ugly, now nobody speaks to anybody. Edited September 26, 2012 by bob the brave
GoodOnPaper Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 The thing is, a lot of people that do get rejected for whatever reason just assume and complain that they are "too nice" and they get passed up for the "playas and the bad boys and the jerks" - that's not always the case, just because 1 guy won over the other doesn't mean that the guy that won won because he was the bad boy. But he did win because he was better at generating raw attraction, which trumps every other quality -- good or bad -- women see in guys. Attraction used to be seen as something that was generated by couples -- so even if a guy was rejected by a thousand women, there could always be someone out there with whom he could connect with much more intensely than any ONS or FWB situation he could imagine. Now, attraction is seen as something generated by individuals' attributes -- as a guy, you have to win the ONS/FWB attraction game even if you really want an LTR or else be destined for loneliness at worst or mediocre intimacy at best. So, there is some anxiety expressed if we have qualities that work against us in the raw attraction game -- being too short, too "nice", "good on paper", etc. But as you say, life isn't fair. However, all of the philosophical "you-get-to-have-your-standards-too" arguments ring a little different when you can't take attraction for granted.
silicone Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 I'm sure reading these threads is doing more harm than good to short men out there.
oaks Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 I spent some time in the company of an attractive woman recently. There was a point at which she removed her shoes. Her comment to me: "Oaks, you're too tall!"
silicone Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 Oooh another Height and Dating thread Has it been 12 hours already?! With all due respect, height is one of the top reasons for rejection, whether you like it or not. Someone trying to make sense of it will ask questions.
Emilia Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 What do you think? Shallow or valid requisite. Please don't tell me a person's requisites are their own business and they are valid for that person. I know that, but I'm asking what YOU think. I think you that you and other guys like you have finally convinced me to start obsessing over the minute details why some men don't fancy me. Threads to follow. Keep an eye out everyone. 1
silicone Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 I think you that you and other guys like you have finally convinced me to start obsessing over the minute details why some men don't fancy me. Threads to follow. Keep an eye out everyone. Maybe I should do the same for why girls don't fancy me.
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