I still want him back. But it doesn't seem realistic. (long, but advice appreciated)

[Whisper]

Some of you may know my story. For those who dont:

 

I am 17. I started dating Michael when I was almost 16. He was my first boyfriend (although he had had other relationships) and a few months into our relationship we found ourselves in love. Yes we were/are young but I assure you it was true. Everything was great and he told me that he wanted to be with me for as long as he could, etc. About 10 months into him and I being together, things started changing. I would get mad very easily and pout over the silliest things. I'd get upset if he wanted to stay home and relax instead of hanging out with me that night. He stopped telling me all the time that I made him happy, he stopped sending me sweet emails and the things that I loved so much about our relationship in the begginning weren't there anymore. I brought it up to him and we had a good discussion about it. That was always the good thing with Michael and I. We could talk about anything and everything and we hardly ever fought with eachother because we'd always talk it out before either of us got to the point of being angry. But yeah, when I brought up the changes I was seeing in the way he acted towards me, he said that he still loved me just as much and that I still made him happy and that there wasn't anything to worry about.

 

About a month later (the 11th month mark) he started mentioning that he would be doing things like cutting the grass and wondering why him and I together. And that he'd tell himself that it was because him and I went together so well, that we matched up so well. He also said he was starting to wonder what it'd be like if he was with someone else (no one in particular, there WAS NOT another girl that he liked or anything like that) and he started thinking that he could get along with someone else just as if not better than him and I got along. But he said that he would never be able to leave me because he couldn't hurt me and he couldn't fathom being without me. I shrugged his thinking off as typical teenage male hormones always thinking the grass is greener, etc.

 

I lost a lot of my independance when I got so wrapped up in him. I was dependant on him for my happiness and I would have spent every waking hour with him if I could. I always wanted to be by his side. I realize now that I made a huge mistake in not staying independant and I made a huge mistake of being too clingy and too pouty.

 

The night before our one year anniversary, him and I got into a fight because I was upset that he wouldn't come get me and take me to sonic. He had to meet a friend (who happened to be a girl) so that he could give her is work application. I told him it wasn't nice to ditch his girlfriend and I was very immature. That blew over rather quickly though, and things seemed to be fine later on that night. Him and I started asking eachother random questions about life (we did this frequently) and I asked him if he saw us together in two or three years. He said no. I asked him if he WANTED to be with me in two or three years and he said, "If I am still happy, yes" Apparently he thought about that really long and hard that night, even talked to a friend. She told him that if that's really how he felt that he needed to do what was best for him.

 

He came over the next day (on our one year anniversary) told me he loved me and then told me he was thinking a lot about what was said last night and he realized that the person he was with he just didn't want to be with anymore. He wants something different. Someone else, someone with a different kind of personality.

 

And that's all there really was to it.

 

The first month after our break up him and I still talked via AIM but didn't really talk nearly as much as we used to, and I only saw him about three times. I was a HUGE MESS. I took our break up very badly and he was very worried yet at the same time he didn't like that he had caused it and it made him want to distance himself from me. He never has liked being around upset people, he can't handle his own emotions let alone someone elses.

 

The past two weeks him and I have started talking a lot more and started hanging out a lot (about 6 times in two weeks) things seemd to be getting to a point where him and I could be friends. There was only ONE problem. The last two times him and I got together we fooled around big time. Made out, got naked, you get the idea .... I'll spare you from the details.

 

Two nights ago him and I got into a huge fight and he told me that he is indeed happier now that he's not with me, and that he doesn't want anything more than a friendship with me and that the fooling around happened just because he wanted to fool around (fine, that's really the only reason I did it too). He told me that he thinks I'm hypocritcal and see only what I want to see and hear only what I want to hear. He told me that I was a huge part of his life and he can't just leave me behind but as of late (as in, that day) he wants to get further and further away from me.

 

His words hurt a lot and he's now on vacation .. I wont see or talk to him for a week.

 

I've grown a tremendous amount since he broke up with me. I am no longer falling apart, and I am fairly happy. BUT - I still want to have him back more than anything. He says he still loves me and probably always will.

 

I don't want to want him anymore because it hurts so bad. But I can't stop wanting him. I can't stop wanting to try us again.

 

Ugh. I don't know what to do.

[Starnette83]

[color=indigo][/color][font=arial][/font]Hey girl, well it seems like you're addicted to him, sometimes us people like being rejected, and when we are rejected by the person we love we seem to want them more, i dont know what it is, maybe its the challenge, but by being this way u will only hurt you...If you really want him to realize who u r and u want him to want u just as bad as u want him, u need to disapear from his life for a while, and for a while i mean a month, dont be there when he comes back that week, i know this will be VERY HARD and u might not take my advice, but i guarantee u its the only way right now!! Guys dont see what they ahve when ure always available and when they know ure so into them, they dont respond to this...they respond to us girls who give them a cold shoulder, are independent and prove to them we dont need them!!

'

once again chick i know its hard, im goin through it this very moment with a guy i luv and been with for 4 years almost but broke up..now its been 8 days since we havent spoken and it hurts me alot but i wont call him, i know that soon he wil realize that IM GONE and maybe then he might come back..but who knows maybe by that time i wont even want him anymore (i hope)..my point is that ure just gonna cause more pain to ureself if u stick around him...seriously..ignore him for 2 weeks..a month if ure strong enough..update us!!

[Whisper]

Well he wont be back for a week anyway.

 

So I have to wait till he's back to ignore him. lol