jessisdabomb Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 Hi all! I'm new on here so I thought I'd introduce myself before seeking advice! My name is Jessica, I'm 20 years old, a Mass Communications/Journalism major at NYU. Anyhoo, I've known this guy for about 3 years now, let's just call him Jake. We went to high school together and have been friends since. I never really thought of him in a different way because well, I just didn't think about it and I was always in a relationship and so was he. Well almost two months ago, we started dating. And then dating turned into sex. I really hate doing this kind of thing - it makes me feel really upset emotionally, and confused and I brought this up to him and asked him if he eventually wants a relationship with me and he said yes. He even says "I love you." ALL THE TIME, even though I never say it back. Well...the question is when are we gonna be in a relationship? I've since decided that I'm going to stop having sex with him until that point but I don't know how to tell him this without him thinking I'm crazy or desperate for a relationship. Also, another thing that bothers me...he constantly does things on Facebook that always pop up. Like he commented on another woman's picture saying "Cute" or "I'd like a bite out of that ;)" and even called this other chick "babe". Do I have the right to be upset about that? Should I drop this guy or what? Thanks!!
jamesbob Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 why dont you reciprocate and tell him you love him too and tell him you want to be exclusive? 2
Enema Posted September 27, 2012 Posted September 27, 2012 How do you define a relationship? - He says he wants one - He takes you out on dates - You have sex - He says he loves you Sounds like a relationship to me.
somewhat_ENTP Posted September 27, 2012 Posted September 27, 2012 Have you actually had a real conversation with him about making your relationship "exclusive" yet?
oldshirt Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 How do you define a relationship? - He says he wants one - He takes you out on dates - You have sex - He says he loves you Sounds like a relationship to me. Ummm yeah. At what point do you consider it a relationship?? What hoops and hurdles hasn't he jumped through yet to make it a relationship in your book?
lovejoy41 Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 Don't assume anything. Trust me. I just learned a hard lesson from that. Sit down with him and tell him how you feel. It's obvious that he doesn't know or is just telling you what you want to hear if he's doing his thing on facebook. He may be assuming that you are just casual. Talk with him and CONFIRM what it is with him. If he says you're "exclusive" then you are. If he says "he's not ready for a relationship" or gives you some BS excuse about not being ready and you know that you are, move on or you'll become a option or a booty call.
kalaslsl Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 why dont you reciprocate and tell him you love him too and tell him you want to be exclusive? ^ Pretty much this.
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