yazz23 Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 So basically I had met this guy online last year. We hit it off great on the first date. Had plenty in common, super cute, etc... Second date rolls around and it was pretty fantastic. Awesome dinner, good conversations, etc... Later in the evening I almost sleep with the guy, but decline because I saw potential for something more than just sex. I invite him to a party but he declines and basically says thanks but not thanks. Fast forward to several months later. We keep in contact in a weird way. He'd randomly text me out of nowhere asking how I am, but when I would reply he would reply back literally weeks later. We keep in this strange pattern of contact for months and months, till recently we went on a texting spree and flirt, and decide to meet up for a day date. We go on this long date that had huge bouts of silence and then moments of really engaging conversation talking about really personal stuff, but kinda goes off in a sexual theme. he initiates some physical contact but only a teasing amount and when I reciprocate, he backs off. He doesn't pay for my food and no kissing. I text him after the date saying despite not being perfect, I enjoyed the conversations. He responds saying I'm a good person and lovely, and that if we are in each other's area sometime soon we should catch up ( We live 2 hours apart) I'm somewhat confused, by the sexual nature of our talks, the odd physical contact and lack thereof. I feel like we might just be friends, but yet there's still something not completely platonic about it. Any thoughts on all of this? What does this suggest??
Pyro Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 He wants a FWB relationship with you and nothing more.
LittlePrince Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 He played you the way you played him.
Malia25 Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 It sounds like you are his good time girl that he can be unemotionally available to....at his time and not his expense either. You should just delete his number and pretend you never met him. Months down the line, when you fall harder and he grows more distant, you'll be glad that you decided to delete him from your world.
Author yazz23 Posted September 26, 2012 Author Posted September 26, 2012 Yea I couldn't tell if he just wanted to be friends, but with the talks of past relationships and sexual theme it kinda threw me off. And I what do you mean played him?? I didn't "play" anyone. I declined sleeping with the guy because I actually liked him. It's funny how if you sleep with someone too soon you're considered a slut if you're a woman, or if you don't you are "playing" him.
Pyro Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 Yea I couldn't tell if he just wanted to be friends, but with the talks of past relationships and sexual theme it kinda threw me off. And I what do you mean played him?? I didn't "play" anyone. I declined sleeping with the guy because I actually liked him. It's funny how if you sleep with someone too soon you're considered a slut if you're a woman, or if you don't you are "playing" him. FWB may have been his intentions all along, but if not then your holding off on sex could have bruised his ego to the point of him wanting nothing more than sex from you and/or he took that as you playing him, which is a ridiculous notion but a notion that does exist to some people.
Author yazz23 Posted September 26, 2012 Author Posted September 26, 2012 Yea, I mean I could somewhat see from that perspective how that impression could be reached, but at the same time the possibility that the girl doesn't want to be dubbed a "ho" might also be an option (ridiculous stigma BTW). I was really hoping this date could have been a way to talk about each other and just express how I felt, but it ended up being awkward silence, and then playing 2 truths and a lie for a couple of hours. I could tell there were plenty of moments where we both wanted to just say what was on our minds, but neither did. Aghh! I guess I still want to see him one more time to get some closure, but at the same time I have no idea how interested or how much actual effort he would take to see me if I was in his area.
Pyro Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 There isn't anything left there. I'd forget about him and move on.
Minka333 Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 Doesn't pay for food??? a huge red flag already coz' he is not even eager to impress. Plus he seems inconsistent like he would communicate at his own convenience. He was also trying to gauge as how you would respond to his sexual innuendos. He might've noticed you are a decent girl and not up to the game, which for him is just a waste of time especially if he ain't gonna get any. Yeah, drop him.
LittlePrince Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 Yea I couldn't tell if he just wanted to be friends, but with the talks of past relationships and sexual theme it kinda threw me off. And I what do you mean played him?? I didn't "play" anyone. I declined sleeping with the guy because I actually liked him. It's funny how if you sleep with someone too soon you're considered a slut if you're a woman, or if you don't you are "playing" him. You tuned him up, denied his advances, and sought to string him along. In turn he tuned you up, denied your advances, and is stringing you along quite well. If you are going to play someone expect to eventually get played.
LittlePrince Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 Doesn't pay for food??? a huge red flag already coz' he is not even eager to impress. Plus he seems inconsistent like he would communicate at his own convenience. He was also trying to gauge as how you would respond to his sexual innuendos. He might've noticed you are a decent girl and not up to the game, which for him is just a waste of time especially if he ain't gonna get any. Yeah, drop him. She is just some girl who likes to toy with men. Why should he pay?
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