ponette Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 feeling awful. trying not to think about it. not succeeding. it's been almost 6 weeks without a shred of contact. has too much time elapsed to hope for any?
ashtree-house Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 I don't know what happened between you two, but you never know what the future holds. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. But you should really try and keep your head up. I have been writing in my journal a lot, running, and reaching out to good friends. I am coming up 4 weeks no contact, and hope is slipping too. But if he ever comes back, I want to be in a good place. I'm not saying you'll get your ex back, but stay with NC, and keep up with the healing process. In the future.. who knows. 1
Author ponette Posted September 26, 2012 Author Posted September 26, 2012 oh, thank you so much for answering. i know that your guess is as good as mine. i, too, want to be in a good place, whether he comes back or not. this is so hard, battling this depression, the anxiety, the not knowing. i feel so alone and so hopeless. thank you so much for responding.
LostOne1 Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 feeling awful. trying not to think about it. not succeeding. it's been almost 6 weeks without a shred of contact. has too much time elapsed to hope for any? tough to say.. I got to a month this week and well nothing so far. It was tough because I set 30 days as a limit to see what happens.. nothing and it becomes more disappointing. But after some talk with friends... I am pushing it to a new goal for another 30 says so 60 days of NC to heal myself. At this point I doubt she will come back to me.
ashtree-house Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 To me, the anxiety was the worse, I couldn't eat or sleep.. it's like waiting for something to happen. Every text, every call.. I hope it is him.. A couple of days ago I decided to try and let him go, and truly feel like he is gone. It's an awful experience, and I miss him so much, but the anxiety is gone. I don't feel like I'm waiting anymore. Just take one day at a time, Tomorrow is a new day.
LostOne1 Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 To me, the anxiety was the worse, I couldn't eat or sleep.. it's like waiting for something to happen. Every text, every call.. I hope it is him.. A couple of days ago I decided to try and let him go, and truly feel like he is gone. It's an awful experience, and I miss him so much, but the anxiety is gone. I don't feel like I'm waiting anymore. Just take one day at a time, Tomorrow is a new day. yeah went through the same thing... ironically I think we are from the same city too! I always looked at ALL my texts thinking everytime it would be hers saying she wants to talk or just something... but nothing. it always was someone elses and it didn't bother me much after awhile. Now I know she WONT text me, so there is no point in looking or thinking about it
Author ponette Posted September 26, 2012 Author Posted September 26, 2012 tough to say.. I got to a month this week and well nothing so far. It was tough because I set 30 days as a limit to see what happens.. nothing and it becomes more disappointing. But after some talk with friends... I am pushing it to a new goal for another 30 says so 60 days of NC to heal myself. At this point I doubt she will come back to me. yeah, i know that sinking feeling as i check my email and get nothing. day after day, the disappointment just grinds me down. almost 5 years together, and not a word. i'm hoping this time apart will offer healing for both of us, and the hope of a future. but no word doesn't give me hope he'd even consider it. maybe he will later. i live a few miles away; we've been in constant contact for a long time. he's hurt, i'm hurt. who knows?
Author ponette Posted September 26, 2012 Author Posted September 26, 2012 Vancouver represent??? ...and i'm not in vancouver, but about three hours south
TopCat22 Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 Without knowing the situation it's hard to say, but there is always hope. No-one knows what the future holds. You can continue NC and heal and move on or you can be pro-active and reach out. Make the first move. You might not get what you want but if you are safe in the knowledge that you have to try and are prepared for the hurt again if it doesn't work then why not see if they are willing to talk? 1
Author ponette Posted September 26, 2012 Author Posted September 26, 2012 thanks. i want to reach out, and i think the ball's in my court, but i'm an emotional wreck right now and don't want to give this guy one more proof that i'm no good. i go back and forth in my mind thinking 'maybe HE needs time' and 'this guy doesn't give a damn and is letting you go'. we've never gone so long without talking before, but i've hurt him with my anger and i think he just may not know what to do any more. i gotta get well, so that i AM well, but also so that i might be able to show him things have changed. thanks for saying there's always hope. this depression is killing me.
LostOne1 Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 yeah, i know that sinking feeling as i check my email and get nothing. day after day, the disappointment just grinds me down. almost 5 years together, and not a word. i'm hoping this time apart will offer healing for both of us, and the hope of a future. but no word doesn't give me hope he'd even consider it. maybe he will later. i live a few miles away; we've been in constant contact for a long time. he's hurt, i'm hurt. who knows? That's why NC is helpful, because it gives you both time to calm down and think and slowly lose the pain a bit. Waiting for his email is not worth it and you'll torture you.. I did that with myself thinking she will text. I saw EVERY text thinking it was her.. but it never was hers. I've gotten used to the idea, that she won't email, text, or call. I dreamed of her texting and making contact and being sad, in pain, down but willing to find a way to work it out. Don't know if it will happen. I feel if she loves me... and still wants to work it out. She will contact me.. From what I can tell, she seemed like she wanted to set me free. As if I could only make another girl happy, but not her anymore. Vancouver represent??? Hell yeah! Without knowing the situation it's hard to say, but there is always hope. No-one knows what the future holds. You can continue NC and heal and move on or you can be pro-active and reach out. Make the first move. You might not get what you want but if you are safe in the knowledge that you have to try and are prepared for the hurt again if it doesn't work then why not see if they are willing to talk? Tough one... I don't think she is ready to talk yet. Talking and contact works WHEN you are ready to accept and handle the worst problem, which is rejection in the worst manner possible. And that only can be said when you have gone a few weeks with no pain anymore.
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