SJC2008 Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 There are many arguments here that women can struggle when it comes to dating and I agree but still belive that it's harder for men because we have to pusue and put ourselves out there. Here's an example of a woman who seems to be struggling: The women I met at my job alomost a year an half ago is still single. She wen't cold on my after our first date and I asked her what was up and she said she just had a break up and wans't ready. I signed up for OLD a couple weeks later and there she was so it was a big ego blow that she lied. She had her profile down for a couple months recently so I figured she met someone but now she's back and I'm wondering why she is single? She's attractive IMO, has a good job and is college educated. I know she's not a gold digger, she went out with me and I'm sure she knew she made more money than me (auto retail). I am only 3 inches taller than her at 5'10" and a little chubby so she's not holding out for a guy with a six pack.
SeriouslyJK Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Maybe because she's waiting for something she hasn't found yet? Or deep down (despite the OLD profile) she really doesn't want a relationship. Maybe (just taking a look at her looks since you threw it out there) she's not attractive to the men she finds attractive. I get the "Why are you single?" question so often that I actually spent some time thinking about the answer and those are just a few that I've thought about. 1
Author SJC2008 Posted September 25, 2012 Author Posted September 25, 2012 Maybe because she's waiting for something she hasn't found yet? Or deep down (despite the OLD profile) she really doesn't want a relationship. Maybe (just taking a look at her looks since you threw it out there) she's not attractive to the men she finds attractive. I get the "Why are you single?" question so often that I actually spent some time thinking about the answer and those are just a few that I've thought about. That is possible but that's why I was trying to be clear in the OP that I don't think shes reaching, or being unrealistic. Like I said she knew she made more than me and I'm no model myself being chubby but I have been told I'm cute/handome. I'm not saying she's gorgeous and can get any guy she wants but she's a nice looking woman, who is educated and is in her late 20's so she's still pretty young. I will say this though. I think she was playing hard to get now that I look back on it. I texted her first becasue when we talked she had some family buisness going on and I told her I'd call her the next week and she said ok. I did and she called back 3 days later and when I called her back the same day she couln't talk and had to run and told me to call her that night. I did, no answer and she texted me in the moring saying she fell asleep and I said no bigee, text me when you get off and I"ll call you. She texted saying she was going out with a friend. At that point I was an eyelash from saying f it, too much work to ask for a date but she texted later on that night saying she could talk and we went out a few days later. I called her when she got back to town the following week and she didn't reply and I called her a couple days later and no answer so I texted her saying be strait and that's when she said what was in the OP. Was I still in the game and ruined her hard to get? Mabye?? Mabye not. I don't know if she does this with all the men she dates but I am surpried that she's still single.
SeriouslyJK Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 I didn't mean that she was reaching as in she's a 7 but only likes 10 but more like in her line of work she only meets the type of guys she's not looking for. If playing hard to get is her game it's not surprising to me that she's single. For all you know she put every guy through the ringer and they say eff it way before they even get to get a date. And if that's what she does then yeah you could have still been in the game but would you really want to have?
truth_seeker Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 Maybe because she's waiting for something she hasn't found yet? Or deep down (despite the OLD profile) she really doesn't want a relationship. Maybe (just taking a look at her looks since you threw it out there) she's not attractive to the men she finds attractive. The above and also she could have issues that lead to men running away from her.
todreaminblue Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 There are many arguments here that women can struggle when it comes to dating and I agree but still belive that it's harder for men because we have to pusue and put ourselves out there. Here's an example of a woman who seems to be struggling: The women I met at my job alomost a year an half ago is still single. She wen't cold on my after our first date and I asked her what was up and she said she just had a break up and wans't ready. I signed up for OLD a couple weeks later and there she was so it was a big ego blow that she lied. She had her profile down for a couple months recently so I figured she met someone but now she's back and I'm wondering why she is single? She's attractive IMO, has a good job and is college educated. I know she's not a gold digger, she went out with me and I'm sure she knew she made more money than me (auto retail). I am only 3 inches taller than her at 5'10" and a little chubby so she's not holding out for a guy with a six pack. i opened a dating profile way before i was actually ready to date due to pressure from family>i don't like online dating......it isn't a fact that i am single because i cant get a date i could if dropped what i believe in now, i feel pretty much like a hypocrite actually because i have changed my outlook on many things including sex and drinking........where i was sexually active when i used to date before....it was easier for me to date men because i had what they wanted.......i refuse to be used for sex anymore .....had it.....i only want to have that with someone who wants to commit....... so now i feel like a hypocrite dating.....and the man i am attracted to is a stand up guy.....which is hard for me to feel like i should even try......complex.....but i stand by what i feel now about sex......even though i have desire.....i wont go there..ultimate hypocrite..deb
xxoo Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 She had her profile down for a couple months recently so I figured she met someone but now she's back and I'm wondering why she is single? Because she recently broke up with someone, and isn't clicking with anyone right now? Because she hasn't anyone with whom she really connected and wanted to be with for life? Some people don't mind being single so much, and prefer it to being in an unsatisfying relationship. 5
Author SJC2008 Posted September 26, 2012 Author Posted September 26, 2012 Because she recently broke up with someone, and isn't clicking with anyone right now? Because she hasn't anyone with whom she really connected and wanted to be with for life? Some people don't mind being single so much, and prefer it to being in an unsatisfying relationship. I doubt she recently broke up with someone. She's had a profile since April before last with the exception of a couple of months and is on it again. I know getting dates isn't her problem. On our date she seemed kind of negative. I gave her a hallpass because her GM just passed so I chalked it up to that. She said she felt fat, she's not fat but a little flabby. She said she felt stupid for wearing a sweater, and that she had no ody to cook for. She said she had an uncle who commited suicide. Maby her ego was down and because she did have a break up then. After I was rejected and found out she was online I figured she used me for a free meal and therapy session and had no interest at all.
soccerrprp Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 Many women would and should admit that they like the attention they get from men even from men that they are not attracted to. It's possible that she was using you for the attention while looking for something better (for her). It's not uncommon and something that you should be aware.
sydneysider1978 Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 Umm, she wasnt playing hard to get. She went in a date with you and decided not to take it any further. It was probably a white lie that she wasnt ready for a relationship. Maybe she should have told you that you just weren't her type, but would that have really made any difference to the outcome? Isn't the point of dating, to get to know someone better over a date and take it further if you want to? That's normal, not attention seeking. She's still looking, and hasnt met anyone serious yet. I wouldn't say that there was anything unusual about that. What is unusual, is that you're still checking out her profile a year and a half after your date.... 3
Imported Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 I think some people, even women, limit themselves to people they interact with regularly for work, school,....I think that's all really and I'd guess that she does not see any real canidates in those places. If she doesn't have friends she can go out with to single scenes....than it is pretty slim pickings.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 I agree eith another poster, why are u obsessing over this girls dating pattern? who she dates is up to her, whether she is single or npt is none of your concern. me thinkth someone's ego was bruised. 1
Author SJC2008 Posted September 26, 2012 Author Posted September 26, 2012 (edited) I agree eith another poster, why are u obsessing over this girls dating pattern? who she dates is up to her, whether she is single or npt is none of your concern. me thinkth someone's ego was bruised. Typical lovehsack bluggeoning. I'm not obsessing, we're on the same dating site. She shows up in searches and had disappeared for a couple months and now she's back. And I'm surprised she's still single given what I have posted about her. I figured it was a good topic to kick around becasue a lot of posters here make it seem like as long as a woman isn't fat she has tons of options and can get a man any time she want's. Instead I'm called obsessive and ego hurt. My ego was hurt back then but ultimately I'm glad she rejected me because she's not a Christian, thanks to what I seen on her dating profile. Yall can duck a sick for real. Edited September 26, 2012 by SJC2008 edit
KathyM Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 She didn't think you were a match for her after getting to know you on the first date, so she tried to spare your feelings by saying she wasn't ready to date, rather than tell you she wasn't interested in you. If she hasn't found anyone good enough to take her profile off after several months, I'd say she's probably too picky for what she has to offer.
Author SJC2008 Posted September 26, 2012 Author Posted September 26, 2012 I like how the male posters stuck to the topic and the female posters called me obsessive and what not! Yall always bitch, moan and groan about how women can struggle too when us guys complian, I give an IRL example of it to kick around and yall side track and call me this that and the other. Grow up! 1
Author SJC2008 Posted September 26, 2012 Author Posted September 26, 2012 Umm, she wasnt playing hard to get. She went in a date with you and decided not to take it any further. It was probably a white lie that she wasnt ready for a relationship. Maybe she should have told you that you just weren't her type, but would that have really made any difference to the outcome? Isn't the point of dating, to get to know someone better over a date and take it further if you want to? That's normal, not attention seeking. She's still looking, and hasnt met anyone serious yet. I wouldn't say that there was anything unusual about that. What is unusual, is that you're still checking out her profile a year and a half after your date....[/QUOTE] I'm not retarded I know what dating is about. I'll tell my next date I've been trying to find somone for 17 months and see if I get a second date. We're on the same site she shows up in searches and disappeared for a couple months and is back now. What about curiosity? Yes from time to time I checked to see if she was still on there out of curiosity so what's wrong with that? If she did it you'd be perfectly ok with it.
MrCastle Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 I know pretty girls who are forever single because they've priced themselves out of the market. Turning down guys in their range and holding out for that perfect guy that will never come. To my knowledge, they aren't depressed about it, nor do they complain a whole lot. It's just one of those things where you log into facebook everyday and the same girl has had "single" as her relationship status for years. Never posts any pictures or status updates involving men, etc. My guess is they're not worried because if worse comes to worse, they'll just settle for one of the many guys they've friend zoned. 3
LittlePrince Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 There are many arguments here that women can struggle when it comes to dating and I agree but still belive that it's harder for men because we have to pusue and put ourselves out there. Here's an example of a woman who seems to be struggling: The women I met at my job alomost a year an half ago is still single. She wen't cold on my after our first date and I asked her what was up and she said she just had a break up and wans't ready. I signed up for OLD a couple weeks later and there she was so it was a big ego blow that she lied. She had her profile down for a couple months recently so I figured she met someone but now she's back and I'm wondering why she is single? She's attractive IMO, has a good job and is college educated. I know she's not a gold digger, she went out with me and I'm sure she knew she made more money than me (auto retail). I am only 3 inches taller than her at 5'10" and a little chubby so she's not holding out for a guy with a six pack. She has an overinflated ego. That is why women stay perpetually single. 1
Author SJC2008 Posted September 26, 2012 Author Posted September 26, 2012 She has an overinflated ego. That is why women stay perpetually single. Wouldn't the ego start to deflate the longer she's single? She's in her late 20's and wants kids and is close to "my clock is ticking" if she's not there already. Giving her the benefit of the dout that she didn't use me for dinner and a therapy session I don't think her standards are unrealistic.
LittlePrince Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 Wouldn't the ego start to deflate the longer she's single? She's in her late 20's and wants kids and is close to "my clock is ticking" if she's not there already. Giving her the benefit of the dout that she didn't use me for dinner and a therapy session I don't think her standards are unrealistic. It is a personality trait or flaw. Time and the situation doesn't change this. Such a person will always find some reason to over estimate themselves.
xxoo Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 Why shouldn't she be single? Why do you assume that she must have met a good match for her during the last 18 months? Why is her single status being judged? 4
LittlePrince Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 Why shouldn't she be single? Why do you assume that she must have met a good match for her during the last 18 months? Why is her single status being judged? It is a mortal's lot to be judged. By this point in her life she should have met many good matches but yet she is still single. Humanity didn't evolve for perpetual singlehood but instead coupling.
Emilia Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 Typical lovehsack bluggeoning. I'm not obsessing, we're on the same dating site. She shows up in searches and had disappeared for a couple months and now she's back. And I'm surprised she's still single given what I have posted about her. I figured it was a good topic to kick around becasue a lot of posters here make it seem like as long as a woman isn't fat she has tons of options and can get a man any time she want's. Instead I'm called obsessive and ego hurt. My ego was hurt back then but ultimately I'm glad she rejected me because she's not a Christian, thanks to what I seen on her dating profile. Yall can duck a sick for real. Why post if you don't want answers that are different from your own. You are obsessing over someone who didn't want you. Fine, get fit, lose that extra weight and date other women. Who cares? 1
phineas Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 Umm, she wasnt playing hard to get. She went in a date with you and decided not to take it any further. It was probably a white lie that she wasnt ready for a relationship. Maybe she should have told you that you just weren't her type, but would that have really made any difference to the outcome?. Actually, yes it would have. I had a co-worker do the same thing to me. But, she wasted a good amount of my time before she said she "didn't want a relationship". Then the next week she showed up in my daily matches on POF with a freshly updated profile stating she was looking for a relationship. I never said anything but it made things awkward at work for HER because she kept wanting to be "friends" & I had to tell her I had enough friends. She knew me well enough to know I don't get butt-hurt over rejection & consider dishonesty a deal breaker. There was literally no reason for her to lie to me about it. Had she just said she wasn't feeling it I would of been cool & she would of made a good wingman. Isn't the point of dating, to get to know someone better over a date and take it further if you want to? That's normal, not attention seeking. She's still looking, and hasnt met anyone serious yet. I wouldn't say that there was anything unusual about that. This is true. People at work assume I have GF. I don't & havn't for a long time. The women i'm interested in aren't interested in me & the one's who are, i'm not interested in them. But, i'm almost 41 & the dating pool for my age range is "shallow" LOL! What is unusual, is that you're still checking out her profile a year and a half after your date.... This. I'm on 3 dating sites & i've had a few women I rejected pop up on each site & view my profile after I told them I wasn't interested. CREEPY. Glad I used google voice instead of my real cell number with them. 2
Author SJC2008 Posted September 26, 2012 Author Posted September 26, 2012 Why shouldn't she be single? Why do you assume that she must have met a good match for her during the last 18 months? Why is her single status being judged? I'm not judging her and it's her perogative. Like I said I wanted to post about it because it was an IRL example of a woman who seems to be struggling with dating. A golden opportunity for some of the women here to chime in because many are quick to say women struggle too when men say they have it harder but what do yall do?? Gang tackle me saying stop judging her, why shouldn't she be single? etc. If it was a man it would be a different story but because she has a vag it's because she hasn't found the right one yet/don't judge her. Hypocrite man haters.
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