Author Confusedbreakup Posted September 26, 2012 Author Posted September 26, 2012 Thanks for your input. I could be completely in denial. Because he's my first strong, real love. He was like my right arm and now I don't have him and I fel completely lost. I feel like this is for the better. but i would love to think he's going through something and would eventually come along some how. It's just extremely, extremely difficult. A part of me knows that it's right to just move on but another part of me is still clinging to some hope. I had prayed for a long time for man like him and it came true until now. I think deep down inside he knows what he did wasnt right, not sure why i cant accept his breakup, I think mainly because i would hate for some other woman to have him. I know this is a crazy logic but we've been through so much.. I love his face, body and his personality but im sure these feelings will soon fade for me. Hopefully really really soon. At this point... I can't wait for it to happen right now. I'm still in denial and am waiting for him to come around... And this I know is not the right approach...
Author Confusedbreakup Posted September 26, 2012 Author Posted September 26, 2012 I'm just not sure if I could find some one who was this much in love with me like he was at the time. I want the same kind of attention and obsession as we have for each other once
JustALittleBit Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 You will find someone... but don't focus on that, it's not really important. You shouldn't be entering another relationship any time soon because it is very cruel on the other person if you're still slightly hung up on someone else. So focus on you, being totally fine with yourself. I think we all miss having that person we can snuggle up to and share everything with, but that's life and there are a lot of advantages to being single as well so make the most of them. Eg. travelling, making more friends, being open to more opportunities. And it's ok to be in denial too, just don't act on it. I think a lot of people in the denial stage reach out to the other person, so don't do that. And after you haven't talked for awhile it starts to sink in, and the distance makes you feel like you're not really in a relationship anyway, you feel sort of half in half out, and then gradually you just step further away. It's also fine to cling to some hope for a bit, but eventually when it's sinking in that will fade too. Just go through the stages, if you're angry be angry, if you want to cry then cry. The first breakup is always the worst and the hardest to accept. I remember literally just wanting to die and feeling so distraught. Which was completely out of place too because the guy completely wasn't worth it. If you can, focus on the fact that the guy you miss isn't really that guy at all. Your 'right arm' is refusing to communicate and did something dodgy, so he's not who you thought he was. And the fact that you can already see that it's probably for the best says a lot about your relationship, just remember that objective comment you made even when you're wishing for him to contact you and come back - you know in your heart it isn't right.
I'm nuts Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 He slept with someone on his trip, feels guilty and wanted to leave without you finding out. Simple. Let him go. If he can forget you that quick ...you don't need him. Spot on.......
Author Confusedbreakup Posted September 26, 2012 Author Posted September 26, 2012 Thank you all for your input. This really helps me to sort out these feelings I have.
flitzanu Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 i think i can shed some light on what this means. Next day we speak and he says he wanted to be single and that this trip made him realize this and that he had such a great time and would enjoy being solo and hanging out with friends.And in his cold words, "I don't know what to tell you, it's a feeling I can't control". ( it means he wants to be single and realized he would have more fun being solo and hanging out with his friends.
lukas Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 When I have been dumped with similar excuses after trips, I later discovered the truth - cheating. Cut all contact with him and move on.
sweetheart5381 Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 I agree with the other posters here. NC...and it doesn't matter why he is acting the way he is, or what he may or may not have done on the trip. If he says he doesn't want to be with you anymore, believe it and understand that it's a choice that he has to live with in the long run. Make sure he has to live with it. Sorry, it's a painful time for you, been there a time or 2, but you need to retain your dignity now.
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