Family problems during separation!

[jennyhall74]

Hi there,

 

So me and my husband are separating this Saturday. Things are still very amicable between us and I am hopeful of a reconciliation down the road.

 

My problem right now is my family. I am going to live with them with my daughter while we are separated. For whatever reason they feel they have the right to know all the details of our separation. Such as how much support, how often husband will see our child, going to a lawyer. I have kindly told them that if I need their advice or help I would ask but until then if they could stay out of my business as I feel this is only between me and my husband. They think I am being unreasonable and asking them to stay out of my life. I never once asked them to stay out of my life. I never wrote or said this but they have assumed it because I have asked them to stay out of some things I beleive are personal. This has caused so many problems and way to many to write but am I being unreasonable?

[riverratt]

No, They are concerned but they have to give you space. Finding a balance there is as hard as working on your marriage.

[standtall]

No jenny, you're not being unreasonable, but maybe you're sounding unreasonable. For example, if you said this

 

I have kindly told them that if I need their advice or help I would ask but until then if they could stay out of my business as I feel this is only between me and my husband.

 

you could have softened it up a little bit. Maybe you could have said that "discussing right now is very upsetting" and deferred it too later. I mean you do owe them some kind of discussion since they are helping you, but it is not unreasonable to not reveal every detail.

[amaysngrace]

I think that you're being unreasonable to run to mommy and daddy rather than making your marriage work since that's what you hope to happen.

 

I don't blame them for questioning any of your choices since you've involved them.