Conzy Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 So i've currently been in NC for a little over 2 months now. Was going pretty strong until a bit over a week ago. I checked her twitter (sounds like isn't doing too good herself if i'm honest) and now it's sort of become an obsession. Everyday I feel the need to check up on it and see what she's been up to, how her days been etc etc. It's now gotten to the point where i'm thinking of following her again on twitter (over 2 months ago I told her I couldn't go from a relationship suddenly to friends, and that I'll contact her when i'm ready. Went into strict NC, removed her mobile, stopped following her on twitter etc) So now i'm thinking of excuses like "Well surely by me still not following her shows that i'm pining over her. Perhaps I should follow again but still stay NC" Worst i've felt in quite a while to be honest. I've been 2 months strict NC but it feels like now it's all of a sudden catching up to me, I feel myself getting more impatient to hear from her. Ergh, heads messed up. Reckon I should just leave everything? Just try my hardest to push past it etc Take care
Calico Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Treat it like an addiction. There is no easy way to go through withdrawal, you just have to endure and resist. It's the same here: You make the deliberate decision to stop checking on her and then you do it. When the urge surfaces, walk away from the computer. Sit on your hands. Come here and post. Anything other than giving in. The urge and "need" will subside and this gets easier the more often you do it. Every time you give in, you reinforce it and make it harder for yourself. You already figured out that your addicted brain is offering you delicious and logical sounding reasons, but that it's all about getting the "fix". You know it's BS. You can control this. Start with deciding that this is what you want. Say it outloud to yourself. Also, spend a little time on shifting your thoughts away from her and focus on your life, your goals, being friends with yourself, etc.
geegirl Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Checking Twitter is not NC. NC means No Contact. No smoke signals, no pigeon carriers, no facebook, no stalking, nothing. The only reason twitter made you feel a little better was because it's a temporary bandaid. Seeing her not doing so well, consoled you some and gave you some relief. So you keep going back to get that fix. I bet if you get on there one day and she's going on with some guy about how sexy he is, you'll rethink your snooping. "Well surely by me still not following her shows that i'm pining over her. Perhaps I should follow again but still stay NC" I don't get it. Not following her shows that you are working on trying to get over her. Following her shows that you are still attached to her. NC is a tool you use so that you can move on and heal. It helps with detaching yourself from what is your source of pain. You remove yourself from all possible triggers. NC means nothing if you keep doing what you're doing. 1
Mike_d Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 So i've currently been in NC for a little over 2 months now. no, you haven't. social media stalking is not NC. NC is NC. grow some spine, stop hurting yourself, and let go, and start the real mans NC today. in 30 days you'll be glad you did
Author Conzy Posted September 25, 2012 Author Posted September 25, 2012 no, you haven't. social media stalking is not NC. NC is NC. grow some spine, stop hurting yourself, and let go, and start the real mans NC today. in 30 days you'll be glad you did Well, its been well over a month. I've only just looked at her stuff. Thanks everyone btw, gonna get off here and do some self-improvement Take care
Mike_d Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Well, its been well over a month. I've only just looked at her stuff. well then you've only just broken NC no stalking
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