glamourfrog Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 My ex and I are both 18, we've been together since we were 15 and had 3 perfect years together. We were each other's first love. Please don't say "you're young etc", I understand that I am but it doesn't stop the pain. He has gone to university a couple hours away, and I was supposed to join his university yesterday. Sunday night he text me saying "I love you xxx etc" and then half an hour later "Actually I have to tell you something, a girl kissed me last night. I was drunk but I didn't try to stop her" and he was really apologetic. Even though I was appalled and felt like ****, I was still willing to take him back? I feel like a moron. Then he wouldn't answer his phone because "he's too cowardly" (his words) and then he said "I think we should break up" I'm completely shocked, everyone is. He isn't the kind of guy that would do this, and I brought him out of his shell from being a 15 year old geek! I don't understand why he said he loved me, and THEN confessed and broke up with me. Needless to say, I actually dropped out of uni to take a gap year because I couldn't face seeing him. How do I stop thinking about him? I just feel so betrayed and sad, because we had so many plans together.
headsashed Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 He said he loved you and most probably felt guilty and thats why he decided to confess. Is kissing cheating? i would 100% class it as cheating,kissing is still intimate just like sex. Some people may not agree that kissing is cheating but that is their opininion as this is mine. You finding out he kissed someone has hurt your feelings therefor its unacceptable to you. He thinks you should break up? what because of a kiss,i think hes either gone further with this person or something is going on but again that is only my opninion.
Chi townD Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 A good definition of cheating is doing something or saying something to someone else you wouldn't say or do in front of your SO. Now, in my opinion. If a girl kissing him is all that happened, then it could have been a lot worse. And, I have to give him some points for telling you about it straight away. It doesn't justify what happened, but at least he was man enough to admit that something happened. NOW!!!! Get your butt to school! There is absolutely no reason for a guy or any other man to hold you back from getting your degree. Don't lose a year because of something he did. You are totally not being fair to yourself. Work hard and achieve your goals. Because, they are YOUR goals. Get motivated and get back to school!
Author glamourfrog Posted September 25, 2012 Author Posted September 25, 2012 Thanks for your replies guys! Chi, I know you're right but its actually too late for me now and I know that I couldn't get over him if I had to see him everyday. I've deferred my entry for a year and hope to do work experience in my field this year and then go. It feels pretty lame that that ass stopped me from going this year, but hopefully I will be more prepared etc for next September. I just need to stop thinking about him, that's the hard bit!
Dblock10 Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 go to the same uni as him next year or? it could be a good thing working a year, personally id save up as much as possible, put it aside for travelling after uni. also, yes that is cheating, but he did tell you so at least he cares enough to say something. but then he used it as an excuse to break up with you. to me indicates he see's something going further with someone else or he likes the freedom to do such things whilst he is young at uni.
carhill Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Since you've had a long-term BF, now is a great time to be single and mingle, especially at your young age and in college. Immerse and thoughts of him will fade. Kissing, or in his case, apparently letting someone kiss him, is inappropriate if such acts would not be acceptable to his spouse/partner, based upon their relationship agreement. Since he voluntarily disclosed contemporaneously, it's not cheating. Had he never disclosed and continued your relationship with you being unaware, especially if he repeated the action, that's cheating. He essentially told you the truth regarding the kiss before he saw you in person again. Whatever else happened is unknown. Good luck with school
TopCat22 Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 I'd class kissing as cheating. Some people can get past it as they don't see it as as big a deal as sleeping with someone, but it's still a betrayal of trust. Nothing will ease the pain, sadly it's just something you'll have to go through. But you will get through it. Don't let one stupid guy ruin your future.
Calico Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Needless to say, I actually dropped out of uni to take a gap year because I couldn't face seeing him. Don't give someone else so much power over the course of your life. I understand why you did this, but it's rather severe. How about a different university instead? Please, let this be the only self-punishment you inflict on yourself for a situation that is not your fault at all and that you have no control over.
Dblock10 Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 agree with what cal has said. so true. be kind to yourself
yoman38 Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 ok so you took a year off now what will you do with that year make i count enjoy your life now is a time to grow and heal
Author glamourfrog Posted September 25, 2012 Author Posted September 25, 2012 Thanks for the concern, guys. I know it sounds hasty to just leave uni before even starting like that, but please understand he dumped me the NIGHT BEFORE I was leaving to be with him. The idea of having to go and make friends with people and live 2 minutes away from him was just awful, so I guess its a bit pathetic but I quit. I don't plan to never go back, I will next September, and yes to the same uni as him but by then he will have moved from the campus I will be on so there will be a far lower chance of seeing him and I have my heart set on this place now. This year I plan to make it all about me and try to cut him out of my life but he was such a huge part of it for so long that it's difficult. Everything reminds me of him, bands, places, movies, etc. Thank you for all your kind words, I really appreciate it.
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