Aliyah-Nicol3 Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 I am a freshman in college & I just turned 18. My boyfriend who is 20 & a junior in college.. we were friends first. He still lives with his mom btw. Not because he doesn't want to move out or anything but before he came to the college I am attending he went to another college 4 hours away to play football and then he got hurt & his mother had an aneurism. So he decided that coming home to rehab and take care of her was the best thing to do. Anyways, I met his mother not to long ago and she seemed really nice. I mean she asked me a hundred million questions...but I just assumed that was motherly protocol. She met me as my boyfriends friend at the time & everything was fine but every time we're around her she asks me personal questions and stuff & tells me that I don't need to be with her son and that I need to be at my house studying ( I have an apartment). She also told me that her son needs to not come over everyday and he needs to come over maybe....once or twice during the week. I understand that my boyfriend still lives at her house...but at the same time....he is a little to old for his mother to be sitting down his girlfriends and telling them how she thinks they should date. When my boyfriend and I go out somewhere at night she will call him the entire time to tell him to come home. She did this last saturday....at 9:30 pm. If my boyfriend has a curfew I can respect all of that...I just feel like his mom is being biased towards me....for some reason. I feel like she doesn't want her son to date me because she doesn't want him to leave. Believe it or not she didn't want any of her kids to move out....which is strange to me because...my mother made it clear to me that if I didn't go to college I was still moving out....as did alot of my friends parents. I guess what I am asking his how I can handle his mothers overbearingness? What can I do differently? Things like that. Thanks in advance .
thatone Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 You can't really do anything differently, all you can do is tell your BF what you think about all this and decide whether how he reacts is good enough for you or not. FWIW I think you're right to be a bit offended, sounds like his mother is relying on him for male attention because she doesn't have a husband/boyfriend herself, which isn't healthy, but then again not that uncommon either.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Nothing you can do Aliyah-Nicol. All you can do is be respectful to her and let her know you care for her son and want to do right by him. But ultimately, this is up to him to manage. He needs to set some boundries with her. This is his responsibility. Not yours. Although this might be hard for him to do because he is still pretty young. BUT, it might be important for him to do this now rather then later. Otherwise, when he is older and gets married, he will be dropping his wife to run to Mom if she needs something.
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