yoman38 Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 does anyone have this issue, that they constantly feel like they are in the wrong or something in there life is wrong? like my question is you never feel good or happy with yourself, for instance, everytime you feel like you only deserve people's appreciation when you do good things. And when you do something wrong or make a mistake you really punish yourself. But, generally though you spend a lot of time feeling anxious and bad does anyone else have them symptoms. Sounds like depression, but more I'm asking if anyone has been able to fix this and feel good about themselves, like truly know that they are a good person?
Taramere Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 (edited) I have guilt issues, and I'm not even Catholic. Then again, my mother worked in a Catholic school when I was very small. Sometimes she'd take me to work with her (if the child minder was ill or unavailable) and the nuns would look after me. Perhaps the guilt issues stem from that. I'm kidding. From the little I can recall, they were all very nice. I do think I developed a lot of anxiety from that time though...but it was from my regular child minder. She was an absolute bitch and the bogeywoman of my childhood, but I didn't know how to articulate that to my parents. Later when I was at school, we used to have morning assemblies which would end with "notices". Sometimes the notices were just general housekeeping, but sometimes there'd be something spicy in there about people smoking in the toilets or in the back lane, or carrying their books to school in tacky plastic bags....or, on one occasion, a girl being expelled for using drugs. Regardless of the issue, I would always go scarlet and if the offence was one that no culprit had yet been identified for, I'd become the prime suspect. It carried on into adulthood. In court, if another lawyer was getting a blasting I would go red with embarrassment for them. I get vicarious shame a lot. As far as appreciation goes, I can think of people who were full of praise and appreciation for me until we fell out, and then they stuck the knife in.....so although I always try to accept compliments politely, I don't really internalise them. After all, if you're going to internalise the good stuff you have to internalise the bad too. On occasions when I know I've done something bad then I really beat myself up. It can be frustrating when you see the attitude of people of a more sociopathic disposition. Thinking specifically of a former boss of mine they'll tend to do wrong without a shred of remorse, but if you cross them in the slightest way they'll behave as though you've murdered somebody. It's a huge double standard, and extremely annoying to say the least - but you can't stop people from behaving like that. What I will say is that on the subject of Bad People I believe sociopaths and psychopaths are the worst kind of human beings you can get. Lack of guilt and remorse is their common and defining feature...so I don't think you need to worry about being one of them, as a surplus of guilt is your main problem. I would suggest that your main task is to learn to manage that guilt - and, additionally, to dismiss the more manipulative temperaments' attempts to exploit that tendency of yours...because trust me, they will smell it out and try to exploit it. How you're feeling is most probably the result of internalising the messages people like that have given you. We're always taught that adulthood means taking responsibility, but sometimes people's sense of responsibility is exploited by those who have none. Take responsibility for managing your own issues of course, but beware of those who try to make you responsible for theirs. I suspect a lot of anxiety related disorders stem from the latter. Edited September 29, 2012 by Taramere 2
pie2 Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 does anyone have this issue, that they constantly feel like they are in the wrong or something in there life is wrong? like my question is you never feel good or happy with yourself, for instance, everytime you feel like you only deserve people's appreciation when you do good things. And when you do something wrong or make a mistake you really punish yourself. But, generally though you spend a lot of time feeling anxious and bad does anyone else have them symptoms. Sounds like depression, but more I'm asking if anyone has been able to fix this and feel good about themselves, like truly know that they are a good person? What are your thoughts of the Christian faith? Christians believe that what you're feeling is natural...because it's true! We are all sinners, and are not the perfect creation we were meant to be. But Christians also know that Christ received all of the punishment for us, and that God only sees us through the veil of a Savior, and is thus able to love us despite our imperfections. There is a lot of freedom in experiencing that kind of love
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