spaniard Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 I was dumped 2,5 and a half months ago, strict NC for 2 months which she broke once, but overall I'm doin OK. Each week is better, sometimes I check her FB page (baaad idea, I know, it always causes some pain), but I don't feel the urge to break the NC. She broke up with me in such a crude way that I really don't want to talk to her or even know about her anymore, still sometimes it's hard to fight my own idiotic feelings. I hate the bare thought of being in love with her, I truly want it to be over. I feel that I reached the end of what can be achieved by NC. I need a "next big step forward". Any idea what should it be? Or should I just wait for maybe another 2 months for them to disappear completely? Thanks in advance.
Hobbit Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Delete her from Facetwat IMO. Its not no contact if you keep spying on her
Author spaniard Posted September 25, 2012 Author Posted September 25, 2012 Delete her from Facetwat IMO. Its not no contact if you keep spying on her Already did, but her privacy settings lets me see everything. I "spy" on her like once a week... way too much, I know.
Calico Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 I feel that I reached the end of what can be achieved by NC. No, you haven't. What you can achieve by NC is to lead a happy life again where the past relationship doesn't negatively impact you any more, and where there is no emotional involvement with the ex or the situation. You're not anywhere near that point if you still check her FB and hurt. Besides NC, what have you been doing to let go and move on? 1
Hobbit Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Look... being the dumpee isnt a nice feeling, I know mate (as do most of the peeps on here), its like your being forced to move on against your will. If you truely love this girl you have to learn to let go. Dont believe for one second she's coming back and dont cling on to false hope. To get her out of your mind concentrate on yourself, make a list of life goals and go out and achieve them, no matter how silly (I'm going to learn to sing FFS!! lol). Once you get yourself sorted everything should fall into place. Perhaps one day she'll see that and realise what she's missed out on, if not, then Im sure some girl will love you for you. Read some of the other threads on here, go to councelling, read a relationship or confidence building book, they all help (I speak from peronal experience). And remember, girls love confidence but not a douchebag, they want a nice guy but not a doormat. Being needy is not a good look, and for god sake never beg for them to come back. Dont be the fallback guy after an affair or failed rebound, you're worth better and from what Ive read on here those relationships normally fail anyway.
Author spaniard Posted September 25, 2012 Author Posted September 25, 2012 Besides NC, what have you been doing to let go and move on? I started to hit the gym 3 times a week, joined a university football club to play once a week. In the last two months I reformed my eating habits, I eat self-made, healthy foods to boost my results in the gym. I spend the weekends with my friends away from the town and those places my ex usually go. I made a list of books I must read and I try to focus as much as I can on my studies and my job. Besides, fulfilling the dream of my childhood, I started a skydiving course I have never felt my life so complete, overall I'm a happy guy now. Too bad, there is still some pain in my heart because of her. Look... being the dumpee isnt a nice feeling, I know mate (as do most of the peeps on here), its like your being forced to move on against your will. If you truely love this girl you have to learn to let go. Dont believe for one second she's coming back and dont cling on to false hope yadda yadda I don't want her back and she doesn't want to come back -- plus I never begged, never will. I just want her to get out of my mind, that's all I want.
Hobbit Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 I don't want her back and she doesn't want to come back -- plus I never begged, never will. I just want her to get out of my mind, that's all I want. well that my friend, is harder said than done. I still think about EXs from years back, I dont know why, Im over them and dont want to ever be with them, I cant explain that one Im afraid sorry
geegirl Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Already did, but her privacy settings lets me see everything. I "spy" on her like once a week... way too much, I know. If you block her, you won't be able to see anything, no matter her privacy settings. I've done this and it works.
edwards99 Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 if u can...block her..it will stop all spying..guarnteed..
okiedokie Posted September 27, 2012 Posted September 27, 2012 all of the above plus when I was certain it was over for good, I personally found that getting rid of all of the momentos, gifts, emails, letters, cards, etc., from her to be very theraputic...I got rid of everything including things I actively used that were gifts...I didn't want any reminders so I didn't differentiate...it all went and for me it felt good and propelled me forward in healing after I felt stale for a while and stuck in same place.
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