mynameisconfused Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Hello i am a 20 year old male and my ex girlfriend is 21. We dated for almost 3 years. She was my first girlfriend. She broke up with me a few days ago. She said that the reason she is doing this is because, even though she still cares for me, she does not love me anymore. She says this is normal, people break up, it simply happens and it is not my fault. She is confident in her decision and does not want to give us a second chance. We have an interesting history with happiness, love, sorrow and pain. We've been through it all. A year ago i cheated on her and we broke up for the summer, time in which she had a rebound relationship, but got back together when she finally forgave me. Everything seemed fine since then. A month ago her aunt died and she was very affected and 2 weeks ago she just started working. During this last month she became very cold and i could tell she was not alright, even though she kept telling me that she loved me. We were supposed to go on our first date in 2 weeks, she was just too busy and tired after work to go out at all, but i could tell she was about to break up with me since she said we wouldn't stay out much and she just wanted to talk about us. We agreed on being friends even though i still want to be with her. She does not want to give us another chance even though i know we could be happy. I assume she is this way because of what has happened during this last period in her life. She just shut herself down emotionally. She does not like someone else, i even asked her cousin who she talks to all the time and she told me to be patient and by her side as in time things will be better. My question is this. Should i break all contact with her in hopes of getting her back - i do not want to manipulate her just to get her back - or just be by her side and be as helpful as i can and in time she would want me again. I LOVE her more than anything and i am willing to accept no contact if she asks for it. I do not want to force her to take me back, all i really want is her happiness. My heart tells me i should just make her as happy as i can and maybe in time she would want me again, and if not, i am still happy and accomplished because i made my love feel good. I am ready to move on and do whatever it takes to take away her pain and make her feel safe. Am i making a mockery of myself for doing this? Is it the right choice?
isangformischa Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 I wouldn't cut off all contact completely. I'd give her the space that she needed but still there if she wanted to talk.
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