Why he did this ?

[Nothingwithouthim]

i am girl in late 20s . never been with a guy , virgin, 6 months before i became friends co worker guy , he was 22 years older than me , divorced , different religion and countries , already had gf( but said i am not attracted to her , will never marry her , she is one who interested, he is not that much into her and she lives in other state) , initially we were great friend , he was so nice and kind later he started touching me in a intimidate way . bought me gifts , took care of me , i am lonely , no family . struggling at work place and he was very supportive and i feel in love . I got hint that he likes me or may be loves me , one day he said he wants to kiss me . i had never kissed boy before . i agreed because i was in love with him and we kissed for few seconds. I was very nervous so it was a short and bad kiss. i asked him that moment if he is interested in me , and wants something serious , he refused and said that he can not because i didnt believe in premarital sex and religious difference and left. i cried all night , was devastated . i called him and asked him that if we can stay friends . ( i did this because i was very much in love with him , he was moving to other city , i thought i will miss him so much if i lose all contact ) , he agreed , we became Friends Again . we use to see each other on weekends .

he lives 3 hours drive away . I drove once down to his city , usually he drove up to mine . Things were great , we were really good friends . I thought we can remain friends forever , we never discussed his GF . One night we were watching movie, out of the blue he said that he wants to kiss me , i agreed (i was shocked , at that moment i completely forgot that he has GF and he already rejected me once ) all i felt is he loves me and i love him .so we kissed . it was long and good kiss .i was so happy. it brought all feeling of love for him on surface which were buried deep inside my heart . i was happiest person on earth for 2 days . until he called after 2 days and told me that he is taking his gf for vacations . He said " i dont want to go but have to go" ..i was shocked , depressed , devastated . i was angry and depress ,i was angry that if he was planning a vacation with his GF than why he kissed me , he knew i never kissed a boy , he knew i love him . even i consented it but i was not told the whole truth , he never mentioned his gf in many weeks if he had said "do you wanna kiss me , dont forget i have a gf and i am taking her on vacations in days " . My answer would have been "NO". i would have never kissed him .I was very depress and angry for days , my friend advised me to call him and get mad , i didnt do it coz i didnt want to ruin his vacation, he works really hard at work, i waited for him to come back , he came back from vacation and called me to see if we can meet. i was mad at him and asked him that why he brought that kiss when he planning a vacation with his gf . he said "it was just a kiss not a wedding proposal and she is just my gf not wife " . i told him clearly that if he wants our friendship than there will no kissing or anything romantic because he already has gf .

a week later i send text him later , called him but he is not replying .i dont want to be other woman but i still love him and miss him,

Was he just planning to use me for physical relationship becausese his gf lives far in other state ? this thought is killing me that man i loved most , kissed first was useing me as a toy . Did he stop talking to me because i clearly mentioned nothing physical can happen ?

was i rude ? why he did this when he already knew that i am lonely and struggling ? why i still love him ? why i am so depress ?

I want him to happy with his gf . Don't want to be " the other " woman . Why he didn't think about me ? Was he using me ? I loved him truely and he was trying to make me " other " woman, I love him but can't be option no 2

Edited September 25, 2012 by Nothingwithouthim

[veryhappy]

I'm sorry that your heart got broken.

 

It must be your lack of experience that made you believe you could be friends with him, but your instinct is right now. He's only interested in a side dish, he's not looking for a new girlfriend.

 

He's doing you a favor with not being in touch with you. I believe he could easily get you to have sex with him and then dump you. Leave him alone, give up the thought you can be friends. You were the one to keep in contact with him, so his level of interest was always low. He gave in only because you tried so hard. Look for a man who'll be desperate to see you, kiss you and move mountains for you.

[Nothingwithouthim]

,he started touching me , he drove 3 hours every weekend to see me , he brought the kiss , what makes you think his level of interest was low

[alexandria35]

This guy is what? around 50 yrs old? If he didn't like his gf or want to be with her then he wouldn't be. Do you honestly believe that his gf is making him be with her or forcing him to go on vacation? You sound very naive for your age.

[Nothingwithouthim]

@ Alexandria : I am a naive person, I believed for a time that he loves me,

I am still wondering what he wanted ? Where I was wrong , I am really pretty girl but don't know how to handle situation, may be that's why I am still single

[Nothingwithouthim]

What will you do if you were in my place, suggestions will be highly appreciated

[Nothingwithouthim]

Please please , give me advise

[Sauron]

He is never going to be interested in you if you don't have sex with him. I mean do you buy shoes without trying them on? As a plus 50 man, we don't have a lot of time to wait around on you to make up your mind. No disrespect to you, but you sound a bit naive if you are upset about a kiss. If the man has a GF his own age she probably is very worldly and expierenced in what it takes to please and keep a man interested. He is interested in you because he figures he can customize you to him and your young, and regardless of what your body is like, it is young too. As a MM with a lover, I would never pick some one like you because of the sheer amount of effort it would take to bridge the age gap, plus no disrespect but your generation is difficult to talk with. You really should probably go to a dating site and find a BF your own age. Good luck.

[Nothingwithouthim]

@ sarong: his gf is one year younger than me. She is not attractive that's why he says he is not interested in her . I am very attractive and pretty.i am mad at kiss because he shouldn't kiss a girl when he has gf ,

[Nothingwithouthim]

@ lady grey . ..he didn't mention her in weeks . Even I was joking about finding him a gf week before ...he said he kind of like one of my friends for making her gf, later said,I am joking . Never mentioned about vacations at all

[Hawaii50]

I think he play you. he kiss and pretend love, but never love really. His girl is same religion and he love that he need that. you need to be serious to think with head and no more heart. if he love you thats it. if not thats it to. goodluck!

[Nothingwithouthim]

Thanks hawwai50

[Owl]

He is 22 years older than you are...with a girlfriend a year younger than you.

 

You're in your late 20s, which makes him in his late 40s or early 50s, deliberately and intentionally seeking out a naive, young woman.

 

And it appears to potentially be a pattern, given his GF's age.

 

This is NOT the guy you want to be with. This is the kind of guy you want to stay far away from.

[Nothingwithouthim]

@ dear : owl thanks for your support. God bless you

[Nothingwithouthim]

...but why I miss him alot

[Nothingwithouthim]

..he said he is more attracted to me than her,,, he wanted to have sex with me,,, but I don't belive in sex before marriage