A man's 2 cents on dating older men

[yoman38]

Honestly ladies, from personal experience I've realized that many of today's men (not all), are waiting longer and longer to open up to true commitment. They don't want to settle down in their twenties because they think of all the possible missed opportunities which I think is fine, there's nothing wrong with that. Many women are starting to feel this way as well I think that's fine too.

 

But in general I think women do start to think about long term commitment and child bearing prior to men and have a dream of that one guy. My recommendation to those women is look for mature men, look for guys who are the same age or older and who got their **** together. A 2 or 3 or even 5 year age gap can be a good thing because men tend to lag behind women in emotional intelligence. Also men have a completely different biological circuiting and sexual purpose through evolution, and I believe it takes longer for their prefrontal cortex to develop (but i'm not sure about that last point).

 

lol I know this is going to spark some sort of flame war,

[kaylan]

^Generalizations not based on fact.

 

Two of my child hood friends are in their 20s and comfortably set in LTRs that will most likely lead to marriage.

 

I wish people would stop pushing the false idea that most men dont want commitment, all because a few women with bad date pickers decided to date guys who didnt really want them.

 

I created a thread a while ago about the falsehood that is women maturing faster than men. It just isnt so. In reality I think its that some women lament the fact that the guys they sometimes want, dont desire the same things they do. Doesnt change the reality that many guys out there desire to settle down and have a family by 30.

 

And please dont state ideas about gender differences in brain development if you have no facts to back it up.

 

I will agree that there may be more women who feel like the clock is against them at a certain age....but guys go through that too. There are plenty of guys, like myself, who dont like the idea of having kids too far past 30. We dont wanna be seniors before our kids enter college. Also, in my experience I am FAR more emotionally aware and mature than women my age. Im 25, and Ive been hard pressed to find a girl in her 20s who knows exactly what she wants and knows exactly who she is as a woman.

 

PS - ITT: another older dude on the web trying to justify why older bros are entitled to younger women.

Edited September 24, 2012 by kaylan

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

The oldest guy I dated was 28 and I was 19 and he was the most immature person I have ever experienced lol I would date older because I want to get married and have babies but idk I feel like there are ever age of guys who want that.

[Ami1uwant]

I would agree to maturity issues say in their early 20s...but that is far over by 30.

 

Women even Into their late 20s for some reason still have bias to dating older men and never date a man younger than them.

 

Yes women have that biological clock ticking at 30 while men may not necessarily want kids then...but want them later.

 

Men don't want it to be marriage then baby in a yr. they want to adjust to married life first before kids come in.

[yoman38]

lol I'm actually not old, believe it or not still in my early 20s I'm actually younger than you kaylan, just stating how I feel on the topic notice I said same age relationships work too, I'm pointing out a possible trend not an absolute (I really do think a percentage of men and women are ready to settle down at a young age but I don't think this is any longer the predominant situation this is what I'm saying). good point though I have no actual scientific evidence so let me do so, here is a passage from webmd:

 

While the brain allows us to think, it also drives our emotions. It may not come as a surprise, then, that the ability to identify and control emotions varies between sexes.

 

"Women are faster and more accurate at identifying emotions," says Ruben Gur, PhD, a neurologist at the University of Pennsylvania. Studies have shown women to be more adept than men at encoding facial differences and determining changing vocal intonations.

 

Women, as a whole, may also be better than men at controlling their emotions. Gur and colleagues at the University of Pennsylvania recently discovered that sections of the brain used to control aggression and anger responses are larger in women than in men. (webmd)

 

I've found no literature on the prefrontal cortex development but am busy studying, so I'll check to see if it exists later.

 

But no seriously there are observable differences in male and female neuroanatomy, scientifically documented, experimental data! Now these differences aren't as robust as I thought in some areas but they do produce some sort of complimentarily between the sexes IMO.

 

people people I'm talking statistics here not anecdotal accounts, give me stats what percentage of young relationships actually make it to term (marriage)?

 

and then let's talk about the statistical data supporting that marriages tend to last longer when the participants tie the knot at an older age.

Edited September 25, 2012 by yoman38

[FitChick]

Fewer men and women want children and I expect that trend to continue.

[Pasttense]

"A 2 or 3 or even 5 year age gap can be a good thing"

 

This is not what people are talking about when they are talking about dating older men--they are talking about a 15 or 20 year age gap.