When a guy stops talking to you out of the blue

[eve86]

So there is a guy I have been getting to know the past month, we have been out a couple times and text. He is a busy guy with work and hardly gets a day off, which I understand and don't mind at all. We were introduced by friends of ours who are friends with each other. So first night we met in a group setting, we hit it off, exchange numbers and so began the texting. On our first night we had planned to hang out, he had to cancel. I gave the benefit of the doubt because at that point I had no reason not to. A week later he asked to hang out which I replied yes and we did. We had a great time getting to know each other. He couldn't wait to hang out again, his words. So I waited for the next move.....and waited and waited. I mustered enough courage to ask him and he said yes. Well day of he cancelled because he had to help out a friend. From that point on, it's been weird. I didn't hear from him for a few days so I sent a simple hi. After a couple hours no answer I chalked it up to ok he's not interested and took the red route by ignoring me. But then late at night he texts saying he got my message earlier just saw it again and he wasn't ignoring me. I though great, my imagination got the best of me. So I texted back to kind of start a convo and nothing in about 5 days. It's been bugging me because he reached out that one time to say he wasn't ignoring me but now he really is. I don't get it. What's the point of saying that if he is gonna turn around a day later and actually do it? I heard from my friend that he has commitment issues but I'm just trying to get to know him, not tie him down. I don't know him well enough for that move. I kind of want to reach out to him one last time to kind of get peace of mind and put it to bed. I'm curious to know what's up. If he's not interested that way, I would certainly respect that but I don't like the feeling of disrespected. Any guys out there can you help figure out why guys do this? And girls what's the best way to deal with it? I would have to say the confusion, curiosity and frustration are what's bothering me most. The question of why and huh. Thanks!

[january2011]

In my experience, it's because he's unavailable, emotionally or physically, to date.

 

And/or something better came up. AKA he's just not that into you.

 

Better that you find out now before you invest any more energy into trying to date him.

 

The best way to deal with it is to move on.

[DC4]

I agree with january. Write him off, he's done. Don't reach out, his silence speaks volumes.

 

We've all been there and it sucks A LOT. No more last text, just move on.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

It's happened to me a million times and just move on I know it sucks

[bob the brave]

I don't know what luck you've had with guys, but I can assure you not all guys would do this. I am a guy and I would never do that.

 

If he doesn't have commitement issues, he's an idiot. Do you really want either one? It's sweet that you want to help if he does, but it won't be an easy road and you may end up getting hurt. It may be the thing you could ever do, but just keep that in mind.

 

I would say, if you like this guy, keep trying until you get a definite no. Otherwise forget it and move on. Don't get caught up in wanting and explanation for being dissed. It's only natural to feel wronged and want to know why. But, I know from personal experience it's a waste of time and won't change anything.

 

good luck!

[Ami1uwant]

Usually this means he is interested in you but you are option B when it come to dating.

 

Can excuses happen...yes...but .if they were interested in you they'd make effort to make it up.

 

It is possible this set up wasn't his idea but your mutual friends so your timing with him is off...where he could have been in the early stages of dating another woman thus friends didn't know so he wants to see how this goes first before talking to you.

 

What I suggest instead of blowing him off is to ask him if he is dating ome one else and tell him you understand timing is off...when he is available to call you. Don't wait for him.

[eve86]

If he is attempting to keep me as an option or backburner me, he is doing a terrible job. I would think some form of communication would keep me hanging by a thread. I would also hope he had enough respect for me or at least courage to say straight up if he wasn't interested, looking for a relationship etc. I guess I expect this behavior of adults, I believe in being honest because it's easier, no smoke and mirrors, and to the point. I won't lie and say I haven't entertained the idea of texting him but I stop myself to remember he's not trying to get ahold of me and that if I don't get the response I'm looking for, I would be even more disgusted by his behavior. I'm glad there are guys out there who wouldn't do this to a girl because it's flat out rude. As women, we appreciate the honesty, no matter how much it hurts. That shows someone you care. Thanks all.

[xpaperxcutx]

just to add you've only been on pne date with him he doesn't owe u anything. His behavior only reflects that's he's noncommittal not a bad person. you should learn when to walk away when a guy gives you the cold shoulder, not repeatedly hound him about not cpntacting you back.

[Malia25]

I would also hope he had enough respect for me or at least courage to say straight up if he wasn't interested, looking for a relationship etc. I guess I expect this behavior of adults, I believe in being honest because it's easier, no smoke and mirrors, and to the point. I won't lie and say I haven't entertained the idea of texting him but I stop myself to remember he's not trying to get ahold of me and that if I don't get the response I'm looking for, I would be even more disgusted by his behavior. I'm glad there are guys out there who wouldn't do this to a girl because it's flat out rude. As women, we appreciate the honesty, no matter how much it hurts. That shows someone you care. Thanks all.

 

Aw I feel you sista. I'm in the exact same boat...except, me and him were talking for 2 months and had also grown quite close, with him exlaiming he couldnt wait to do it again (as in hang out, nothing more! lol) Blah, bunch of crap I say! Guys honest to God, don't know what they want and I stand by that statement. You're right...you DO deserve the respect and common courtesy of knowing where he stands with you. Isn't that the worst feeling though? You're just filled with anger and hurt, but also so confused at the same time. You just want an answer dammit.

 

I was there for "my" guy when he lost someone close to him. I barely knew him at the time and I still was there for him 100% and he told me how much it meant to him. That's why it pisses me off how he could dismiss me now as if I've never done a damn thing for him. Guys are such unemotional jerks.....at least ours were. I hope you can get past this feeling in time. It'll be alright.

[LittlePrince]

So there is a guy I have been getting to know the past month, we have been out a couple times and text. He is a busy guy with work and hardly gets a day off, which I understand and don't mind at all. We were introduced by friends of ours who are friends with each other. So first night we met in a group setting, we hit it off, exchange numbers and so began the texting. On our first night we had planned to hang out, he had to cancel. I gave the benefit of the doubt because at that point I had no reason not to. A week later he asked to hang out which I replied yes and we did. We had a great time getting to know each other. He couldn't wait to hang out again, his words. So I waited for the next move.....and waited and waited. I mustered enough courage to ask him and he said yes. Well day of he cancelled because he had to help out a friend. From that point on, it's been weird. I didn't hear from him for a few days so I sent a simple hi. After a couple hours no answer I chalked it up to ok he's not interested and took the red route by ignoring me. But then late at night he texts saying he got my message earlier just saw it again and he wasn't ignoring me. I though great, my imagination got the best of me. So I texted back to kind of start a convo and nothing in about 5 days. It's been bugging me because he reached out that one time to say he wasn't ignoring me but now he really is. I don't get it. What's the point of saying that if he is gonna turn around a day later and actually do it? I heard from my friend that he has commitment issues but I'm just trying to get to know him, not tie him down. I don't know him well enough for that move. I kind of want to reach out to him one last time to kind of get peace of mind and put it to bed. I'm curious to know what's up. If he's not interested that way, I would certainly respect that but I don't like the feeling of disrespected. Any guys out there can you help figure out why guys do this? And girls what's the best way to deal with it? I would have to say the confusion, curiosity and frustration are what's bothering me most. The question of why and huh. Thanks!

If you actually knew him in your day to day life then it would be you did something wrong, but in your case it seems he can smell your desperation which is why you haven't been able to move on causing his commitment sense to start tingling.

[Minka333]

He has several options. Or there might be someone he is interested in but not really into him. Either way, he is not worth mulling over as his level of interest is low. You are lucky he acted like that before things got way too deep.