Mike8143 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 Sorry this is long winded, but I was completely caught off guard. Married for 8 years, two kids 7 and 5. Wife says she wants to move out and does so. Doesn't really care about the kids, asks if she can visit them in a few weeks. When I press her for an answer, she just says she's not happy anymore. She's moving in with her friend who got divorced recently. I've supported her for most of our marriage. Watched the kids as she went back to school, she graduated and is now has a decent job. I truly believe she's never been happy. I've always been happy. I've never abused her physically or mentally. Never cheated or even had a wondering eye. Ever since she started working, I've been doing most of the housework, baths, almost always cook dinner. I always go to the grocery store. Sometimes when I work all day while she's at home, the house is a mess. She's said some things to me that I kind of think she's not happy with our kids. We have a special needs child. I can't understand why she'd want to leave and not fight for our kids. Her and I both closed all our accounts before she left. I feel I can't do anything more to make her happy. She may have things from her past she's never gotten over. I want to help her, but at the same time, I realize I can't do anything anymore and I just need to man up and take care of the kids. This all happened this morning, she was gone for 3 days visiting "family". She didn't call or return messages at a timely manner. If there's another man, that's fine. She says there's not, but I have no idea at this point. There were really no warning signs, she did see someone behind my back a few months ago and agreed to cut off all contact with him, which I haven't seen in her emails or phone records. Right now the kids are with me at our home. I took away the keys and the garage door opener so she can't come by unexpectedly. I don't know what else I can do right now to protect myself if we do end up getting divorce. Any thoughts or suggestions? I hate talking to my parents about it since they probably saw this coming and want me to go ahead and file sooner rather than later.
karnak Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 She's having or considering having an affair.
Ami1uwant Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 I agree with the other person....she didn't go to visit her family. She had a weekend with someone she met online or through work. I had some experience with that in my marriage when I did everything and my ex virtually nothing. Maybe your child got to her and burnt her out. It's also possible she is going for the affair then later come back for the kids. You could fight her on this since she left.
riverratt Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 The child can have an effect or add to it all. I have a friend that has a special needs child and it is work. She may see the divorced friend as happy and she thinks she might as well be too. There were warning signs. You missed them. I know I did. Now you focus on you and your kids so you can move on with your life with out her. Face the fact that it will most likely happen and you end up ok. Tough though. Most of us on LS have been or are going through the "phases" of recovery.
SandRat Posted September 27, 2012 Posted September 27, 2012 She's a selfish cheater. Leave her ass and burn her in the process.
Minka333 Posted September 27, 2012 Posted September 27, 2012 No matter how much you love or want someone, if the level of interest isn't the same then the relationship is pretty much doomed. One will always love and the other would always be missing. In order for a relationship to survive both partners should have the same intensity and desire to make it work. Your wife's action pretty much explains there's not much you can do but set her free. She may or may not realize her mistakes, but the best thing you can do is let her go and to let her find her way to what she truly wants. In time you will find your answers.
Gunny376 Posted September 27, 2012 Posted September 27, 2012 Well I'm GLAD that you have the presence of mind to see to your own and your children's well being. You've got yourself a "Walk~A~Wife" and as hard as it is to belive? You're better off without her! Mrs. Gunny and I have a specia needs grandaugher ~ and her Mother is hard corps when it comes to her, her other two children, her husband and his career in the Army! Having a special needs child is tough enough ~ and having a WWW is a mother-trucker! But I want you to stop and think about it! She walked away from you and your children ~ That's spelled ABANDONED! The tough got tough ~ and she got to going! How pleasent and sweet of her! If she'll abandon you and your children! She'll abandon anyone!
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