HelloBunny Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 How exactly do you get over a situation that happened to you? I find myself completely over my last partner, but I am not over how I was treated and the situation? We were together for almost a year, and now my partner is dating some girl that I suspect her of emotionally 'cheating' with when I decided to end things. You know how you end things, but you're not done? You're at that stage of fixing things, and trying to see if maybe it can work. Well, it didn't work, and I guess she latched onto the next best thing. I just find myself irritated sometimes, because I feel like she moved on so quickly. We stopped being involved last month, and then like a week later she is in another relationship and 'in love'. I don't want to sound like a hater and claim the girl is a rebound, or a bad person because everyone knew we were trying to work things out. The girl is apparently 'Perfect', and it's 'easy' being with her. The last day I saw her, she wanted to talk and I just wanted to exchange the things we had left with each other. She was upset, because I seemed disgusted by her, and didn't want to show her any affection. I was visibly upset, and well, yeah. The last thing we did was hug, and she gave me a good-bye kiss. Ugh. -_- I really just want to stop thinking about it, because every reason for me ending things was pretty serious. I just don't understand how to move past looking back. I repeat, I am over my ex-girlfriend just now the situation and feeling like she was doing crap behind my back. 2
Sameold Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 wow, you took the words out of my mouth. I don't want me ex of 4 years back as she betrayed me trust in her but I'm so not over the way I was treated. 1
Author HelloBunny Posted September 24, 2012 Author Posted September 24, 2012 wow, you took the words out of my mouth. I don't want me ex of 4 years back as she betrayed me trust in her but I'm so not over the way I was treated. It's a very hard situation, but I just saw a great post. Do not let the behaviors of others destroy your inner peace. Ugh. I wish it were that simple though.
Sameold Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 This is exactly the same thing I am going through. I can't get over the split because in essence I just feel totally betrayed. It is hard to accept the girl I loved to peices could just change and do what she did.
BewitchedandBothered Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 it's hard for me to get over things; I was born this way!! Ive held grudges and am fine with that; keeps me in tune and I do keep score. I am over my ex, but I consider anyone he is with a victim.
robaday Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 I havent cried once. Im stressed, anxious and have no idea why. It was an awful relationship. But Im dissassociating and blaming myself, when she was distancing herself, was confused, and unhappy, and ignoring my calls. she then had the nerve to blame me for ruining things, when i was trying to protect myself and let her go. she projected her own sabotage on me, when i was trying to work things out with her, and has cut me out of her life completely, even telling me to never contact her again.
Author HelloBunny Posted September 25, 2012 Author Posted September 25, 2012 I cut contact off with my ex. I feel like if you screw me over in a relationship, you can't be trusted as a friend.
Exit Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 (edited) This is probably a good way to describe where I am currently stuck. I've at least progressed enough to know that if I were to ever hear from my ex again for some reason, I would know to run in the other direction, so that's good at least. But I am still struggling to get over what happened. I guess for me it's a self-esteem struggle. It's not just trying to get over what happened, but it's a constant struggle to convince myself that I didn't deserve to be treated like that even if I made mistakes too. She dumped me once for 4 months, led me on, allowed me to chase after her, meanwhile she fooled around with someone else, eventually we got back together, she swore she wouldn't be wasting time giving us a second chance if she wasn't staying for good and knew she wanted to marry me, got 3 more months with her and then she was gone for good. And after I fought and fought to actually work to the point of wanting to marry this person, it wasn't long after that I saw on Facebook she was listed as "Engaged to" someone else already. Even as I typed that stuff out though, I've learned enough to realize how much of that was my fault. I don't cast myself as the total helpless victim here. It was my choice to chase after someone who dumped me, it was my choice to try to forgive someone who admitted fooling around with someone else for a few weeks, and it was my choice to keep trying to fix things after she left again, to look at her Facebook, etc. I know this whole story would be a lot shorter if I had had the self respect to let it go from the first moment it was clear that someone did not want to be with me. But anyways yeah, I'm mostly over the person, feelings aren't completely gone but I know I couldn't let that person back in my life, but even though you'd think in 10+ months there's no more analyzing to be done and you must have looked things over from every different angle, I still spend time every day thinking about what happened. Been NC for a long time now, I don't even have Facebook anymore nor do I try to find out anything about her. Even with contact completely cut off, the wound is taking a long time to heal. Edited September 25, 2012 by Exit 1
Author HelloBunny Posted September 25, 2012 Author Posted September 25, 2012 This is probably a good way to describe where I am currently stuck. I've at least progressed enough to know that if I were to ever hear from my ex again for some reason, I would know to run in the other direction, so that's good at least. But I am still struggling to get over what happened. I guess for me it's a self-esteem struggle. It's not just trying to get over what happened, but it's a constant struggle to convince myself that I didn't deserve to be treated like that even if I made mistakes too. She dumped me once for 4 months, led me on, allowed me to chase after her, meanwhile she fooled around with someone else, eventually we got back together, she swore she wouldn't be wasting time giving us a second chance if she wasn't staying for good and knew she wanted to marry me, got 3 more months with her and then she was gone for good. And after I fought and fought to actually work to the point of wanting to marry this person, it wasn't long after that I saw on Facebook she was listed as "Engaged to" someone else already. Even as I typed that stuff out though, I've learned enough to realize how much of that was my fault. I don't cast myself as the total helpless victim here. It was my choice to chase after someone who dumped me, it was my choice to try to forgive someone who admitted fooling around with someone else for a few weeks, and it was my choice to keep trying to fix things after she left again, to look at her Facebook, etc. I know this whole story would be a lot shorter if I had had the self respect to let it go from the first moment it was clear that someone did not want to be with me. But anyways yeah, I'm mostly over the person, feelings aren't completely gone but I know I couldn't let that person back in my life, but even though you'd think in 10+ months there's no more analyzing to be done and you must have looked things over from every different angle, I still spend time every day thinking about what happened. Been NC for a long time now, I don't even have Facebook anymore nor do I try to find out anything about her. Even with contact completely cut off, the wound is taking a long time to heal. When you spend so much time with someone for almost a year or more, it takes time to move on. She sounds like she is trying to fill a void, sad to say. I just don't see how people can move on so quickly. Even if you say you're in love anymore, you had a friendship beneath and the huge missing chuck from your best friend leaving is painful. Maybe that's why our ex's 'moved on' so quickly. My ex-gf had pride issues, and it really made her angry that I broke up with her since she believes she gave me the world. But she lied to me so much and broke so many promises. I would be going through a much harder time emotionally if I stayed. When I spoke to her for the last time, she said she had fallen out of love with months and months ago, so it sounds like she was leading me on because she didn't want to lose me, or maybe she was trying to hurt my feelings. A similar situation has happened with me and another ex a couple of years ago, and after only a few months with her new gf she had, her true colors showed and she realized what a huge mistake she made letting me go. The "ooo shiny" affect wears off.
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