kamikaze_worm Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 Hi all I just wanted to get some advice as I seem to be repeating a very bad pattern. I am single and have been single for a little while not really holding down a long term relationship for longer than 2 months. Its all I have ever wanted and I would consider myself a emotionaly needy sort of guy (not the best thing to say about myself, but to fix things you need to admit the truth). I am a shy guy Its got to the point where its affecting me and relationships. I don't know how to be anything different. I have been on 2 dates recently and both girls have stopped texting me after. I thought the dates went ok but I think I am coming across too full on and intense, Its really hard for me to write something like this as I just feel so stupid. The last girl I went out with was texting me a lot before we went out. We went out friday and now shes ignoring me. The real killer is this girl seemed perfect for me (but maybe thats my problem as thats my way of thinking) I can't help who I am or what I want from life... but I need to make some sort of change. I find it really hard to chill out in the dating part and don't know what to do to change this. If I don't change this I feel that I may be alone for a long time! Just don't know what to change or do?!? Many thanks for any advice and please don't judge I know what a lot of people in the dating world say about guys like me, but i'm just trying to change this part of my life. Kamikaze_worm
Ami1uwant Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 (edited) It's hard to say.... How did you meet these women...was it a blind date, through a friend, a dating site, or did you meet naturally and you had a date..like you two met each other at the gym or at the book store? It could be something on the date that you are doing wrong in how you come off, you have bad breath, BO, you aren't that attractive to them...like your profile pics are not current pics. Another factor is luck and timing. You may have had this first date with this woman but she is on date 4 with another man. She thinks she has a better connection with the other man she dated....so it's nothing to do with you. For example because f schedule you can have set up a date on Tuesday for the following Friday...10 days...in the mean time she had 3-4 dates with another man...she holds her end of it but she is emotionally unavailable because she is more interested in this other guy so you have to really wow her to come out ahead. Edited September 24, 2012 by Ami1uwant
FitChick Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 What did your do or say that you think came across as needy?
DC4 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 Hi all I can't help who I am or what I want from life... but I need to make some sort of change. I find it really hard to chill out in the dating part and don't know what to do to change this. If I don't change this I feel that I may be alone for a long time! Just don't know what to change or do?!? Work on things because you want to, not because you feel as though women would like you better. Many of us have tried that route and it never works. Sooner or later the real you comes out and all you've done is waste your time with someone who isn't a fit. Like we used to say in car sales, there's an a-hole for every seat Give it time, you'll find the person who clicks with who you truly are. I say this from experience. I have a very, uh, strong personality and it's not easy to gel with men. I tried being more feminine and soft spoken and before you know it, out comes the real DC4 and the whole thing blows up in my face.
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