Confused girl27 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 Hello there is going to be a bit long! I am married now for 3 years / together for 9 years no kids! Me and hubby met when I was only 17 right out of HS and moved in together right away! So now as soon as we got married we relocated to the east coast for his job! He is very well educated and smart, generous man he is 31 & I'm 27! Ok so here is the big problem! I have met someone in this live chat program couple months before we got married I met him on this chat trough an old friend that i knew on this child from since when I was 16! I started talking to this he was from my country in Europe he lives in Europe in a different country now because him and his family immigrated there because our country where we are from is poor! So now I have had my doubts weather getting married to my Husband but my H needed a visa our else he would be deported back to his country where this guy I'm talking to is living there! This guy is the complete opposite of my H he went to jail for drugs years ago he smokes marijuana on the weekends and has really crappy job I think and lives across the street from his mother with his sister! I have had extreme issues where 3 years ago before I got married this guy was my everything I would talk to him all say everyday plus my Phone bill was $1500 for one month which my parents had to pay for! So my husband finds out this is before we got married about this guy. he calls him and starts threatening telling him all sorts of things to stay away that we are about to get married and since the guy Im talking Is living in his country is easy to catch him! So my H tells my father about this guy an my father absolutely hates what he hears he goes insane because this guy is from a different part of the country where we are from which my father considers bad he is against them and can't believe what he hears so he calls the guy I'm talking to and leaves him a nasty message to stay away from his daughter! So I stopped talking to him but couldn't get my mind of him even on the wedding day I was secretly in the chat rooms in my wedding dress staring at the guys screen name but didn't say anything to him as he knew I was getting married! So me and my husband went on a honeymoon to my country then we went to his where the OM lives of course I tempted to meet up called the guy while I was there though about sneaking out at night asking for him to pick me up but he was scared to come because of my H. So that killed me that I was there 20min from where he lives and that I couldn't see him! My mom told me if I love this other guy so much to go to him and not come back that my father will never talk to again if I decide! The problem is this guy has a lot in common with me when we talk we can just be playing music in the chat room just me and him for hours and laugh never get bored! So this is the problem we are going back in December to where the guy is living I told the guy from the chat room that I'm coming and want to see where this is going I am pretty sure it will lead to sex he agreed to meet since we are still in contact but now that we are going there I keep having fantasies of the guy and me hving sex me meetin his sister and mother is intense! If I leave my H for this guy which I tough about my father will never talk to me again since me and h relationship is been on the rocks and we don't see eye to eye on things! I don't know what to do divorce or stay! I wasn't talking constantly to this guy in the past 3 years just occasionally once or twice a week over chat rooms! But now that I'm coming back again is killing me and the tough of having sex with him sneaking it out is sounding really good! I'm not a bad person or am I? Thanks for reading any thoughts on this on what should I?
Author Confused girl27 Posted September 24, 2012 Author Posted September 24, 2012 please ignore the smiley face it was a mistake since I a typing on a phone!
seren Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 ConfusedGirl, If you are unhappy in your marriage and have no inclination to try and fix it, then I would say that it is time to leave. If you decide to see the other guy, then you will just add infidelity to the mix and it sounds confused enough already. You have informed choices, you know what the outcome will be regarding your family if you see the other man and husband. Give your husband the same chance to make his informed choice and tell him. Maybe if you were not married your family wouldn't give you such a hard time. Make a choice.
loveunlimited Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 I have to say I agree with all of the above poster's comments.
Michael Johnson Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 I have to say I agree with all of the above poster's comments. I second this.
darkmoon Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 grrr...why don't your husband and father make their horrible bromance official? i think you should meet up with the message guy and get out more in general i would divorce - cuz where is your happiness?
BetrayedH Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 Infidelity is incredibly painful to a betrayed spouse. You clearly are not mature enough for a committed relationship. Your husband deserves better than this. Before you do any kind of cheating, give your husband the minimum respect he deserves by divorcing him. Let your husband go and then go chase your fantasy. Of course, be prepared for your fantasy affair bubble to burst once reality sets in because it is just a fantasy, after all. I suppose your other choice would be to realize that you're throwing away a good life for this nonsense. I see you moving back in with your parents within three months of being with this new guy, assuming he wants more than to just have sex with you at all.
nofool4u Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 Divorce him. Set him free. You have only been married 3 years and in love with someone else? Your husband doesn't deserve this. You have no children, so it will be easy. Get a divorce so your husband can move on and find happiness with someone that loves only him. 2
Owl Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 Divorce him. Set him free. You have only been married 3 years and in love with someone else? Your husband doesn't deserve this. You have no children, so it will be easy. Get a divorce so your husband can move on and find happiness with someone that loves only him. Nfool is on it here. Pull on your big girl britches, get your divorce in order first...then you'll have all your options available. And your H will be free to be as well. Sounds like a win/win to me.
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