JAV44 Posted July 25, 2004 Posted July 25, 2004 It has been almost five weeks sense my ex-girlfriend has broken up with me. She didn't want to have a boyfriend right know because twenty-two and wants to have a good time. We had a very loving relationship. We never fought. We told each other everyday that we love each other. I am become very depressed and sad. It makes no sense what so ever. I love so deeply it is hard to put in to words. I don't want any other women but her. I am sick of hearing there are a milon women out there. I don't care about those other women. I want her back. I want her to open up her eyes and see what we have. Her friends have minpulated her in to think that she wasn't herself. She was more herself than any other time. She always had smile on her face. She was looking to the future to better her life. She conacted closer to her family when I was with her. She was unselfish when Iwas with her. She has now become the most selfish person. People ask me how do I know this was the one I was ment to love for the rest of my life. It is very simple. The best times we had is when we would fall a sleep in each other arms. It was the most satisfing feeling one could have. I think about her 24/7. She would ask me question such as do you every think of marring me or I just want to open you up and crawl inside of you. Even up to the day before she broke up with me she tells me that she loves me very deeply. The day we exchange our stuff I went to her house. You can tell that she is exusited from going out and parting. She does look health like she once did.She steal has the pictures of us up. She tells me she wants to be friends. She says she loves me and always will. She tells me that she wants to stays friends because who know that we might get back together. So ask all of you when you love somebody so much that you become so confused and want her breath on your shoulder to fall a sleep. How do you convice somebody who loves but doesn't know what to do. I am dieing inside slow form this lost love somebody please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hurtingandconfused Posted July 25, 2004 Posted July 25, 2004 Take it day by day. It's a tuff process, but eventually you'll become a stronger man. It's time to start to think about your future and your life. Don't become her friend right away. Give it some time. Perhaps a year or two.
popvix Posted July 25, 2004 Posted July 25, 2004 Ive had my heart broken by a similar kind of woman man.... its hell I was told that we/us were 98% perfect but the 2% she couldnt have is what is forcing her to ditch me in order to "be free". People these days always have some kind of "itch to scratch" and they are prepared to turn their back on absolutely anyone and anything in order to satisfy it .... From what it sounds like, theres no hope other than the hope she will get bored of the life she's chosen enough to realise she's made a massive mistake in breaking up with you... the hardest part of this is that there is NOTHING you can do to help or be part of that decision making process - if anything, the best thing you can do is to put some permanent distance between you and her, and move on. Theres a chance she might come back, but you MUST work on the assumption that its over forever between you both - otherwise you will never move on with your life and heal properly. I know your pain my friend, im going through the exact same thing - false hope, confusion, pain... only time will heal it
dugs Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 Man I was in your excact situation. All I can say is do not, I repeat, do not listen to her when she tells you that she wants to be friends with you because "who knows what could happen, people can get back together". All that line does is give you false hope, and its not fair to you. My EX pulled the same **** on me when we broke up. She even had sex with me after she told me she did not want to be with me anymore. She cried while she was breaking up with me, told me it was so hard for her. Told me that she still cared for me deeply but just needed to be single right now to figure stuff out. She said that she had to be friends with me because she could not even imagine not ever talking to me again. So we were seperated for about three weeks and I played it cool the whole time. She started to come back to me but I expected to much at once and just put to much pressure on her and it drove her away again. My advice is to just not have any contact with her for awhile and if she really cares about you she will realize that she made a mistake. Don't do what I did and follow her around declaring your love for her and begging for her back and stuff like that because it just pushes them even further away. Do nothing and let her come back to you. This really will work if she cares about you. Its too late for me but you sound like you are in the perfect situation now to do nothing. Be strong bro.
_Kev_ Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 I am in the same situation right now and it is really eating me up inside. The only difference i that as soon as we broke up she was in the arms of the one person I would not like her to be with as we had problems about him during our relationship and now she is keeping us both as friends where she lets both of us kiss her although I think it is harder for me due to our almost 2 year relationship. Our relationship was never shaky and the blow was almost out of the blue and really knocked me off my feet. Right now I have a terrible empty feeling in my stomach like anxiety which is stopping me from sleeping. Over the past couple of days I have been obsessing about her and contacting her at all times possible and I know this is not healthy. Can anyone please offer me any help?
_Kev_ Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 Please read my post which has now been resolved. I honestly hopes it helps you. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t43989/
clarification Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 Originally posted by JAV44 It has been almost five weeks sense my ex-girlfriend has broken up with me. She didn't want to have a boyfriend right know because twenty-two and wants to have a good time. We had a very loving relationship. We never fought. We told each other everyday that we love each other... ...So ask all of you when you love somebody so much that you become so confused and want her breath on your shoulder to fall a sleep. How do you convice somebody who loves but doesn't know what to do. I am dieing inside slow form this lost love somebody please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Originally posted by dugs ...Do nothing and let her come back to you. This really will work if she cares about you...Be strong bro. There IS hope. I completely agree with dugs, and can quite easily empathise with you JAV44. My girlfriend and I met under three years ago and immediately fell in love. Similar to you, we very rarely fought, and spoke to and told each other every day how much we loved one another. Then, prior to me heading back to Uni - we had been together for 6 months - she leaves me, as she was afraid I'd find some Uni girl to date as well as not being able to cope being able to party now and not go out and flirt. As immensely hard as it was to accept things, I merely managed to get through things by seeing our relationship as a positive part of each other's lives - having been a very enjoyable six months. Now was the time to move forward with my life; and as hard as it was to not be talking with her, doing so allowed me to not live in the past, but move forward, while still allowing me to reminisce on the good time we shared. Like dugs said: Doing nothing (and moving forward with your own life) works. My gF realised, after being with another guy for 18months, that she had not only lost a friend, but had let go the person she had loved the most - as a pure means to escape her fear that she was "settling down" (with me) at a time when she should be partying. She told me that she still had feelings for me, so we just started SMS-ing each other. We started to fill each other in with what had happened over the past two years, growing to exchanging emails, then letters, then talking once more. We decided to meet up, to see if our spark was still there - it was, and we enjoyed a night of passion. I was heading back to Uni, again, and we kinda figured that we had closure, finally, and could perhaps just remain friends. Well, we started talking at least twice a week, filling each other in with all the events of that week, finding out about our adventures and self-realisations over the preceding two years. This lead to us becoming closer friends then when we had dated before. She had some holidays owing to her, so she visited me, at University, and we spent time together, with no physical intimacy. This was great, as we realised that there was a spark between us, but a greater one than our reunion, as we merely gained pleasure out of just being in each other's presence, laughing together, going on activities, etc. The end result of this ongoing equation, is that we began to re-fall in love with each other, albeit NOT the MEMORY of what we once had (a dangerous reason for getting back together; if not a place just NOT to go), and decided to make a go of things. We have been together since mid-March, successfully maintaining a long-distance relationship with each other - she is ~1300km (~812mi) south of where I attend University - as we know in our hearts we are destined to be together, and that we will do anything to make out love endure. At this point in time, I have graduated from Uni and am moving the 1300km south to gain employment and be closer to my soul-mate. We have joint-plans on retaining our independent lives, but sharing extensive new experiences; we hope to travel in 2006. So, the point of all this JAV44 - take heed of dugs' advice, that to do nothing, but move forward with your life, and if your ex-gf truly loves you, she will realise her errors, and maybe come back to you as a friend - in which case, your once full love may evolve further, into an actualisation of love-eternal. Wishing you the hope of strength and passion to live your life now as strong as your love, and to reflect on the moments you shared (rather than missing them), ~clarification~ [Australia] ([email protected]) <-- if you want to share the hope [color=blue][/color]
popvix Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 Thats a great story of true love and hope there Im very happy and pleased things worked out for you
read if you like... Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 I understand what you are going through because I'm experiencing something similiar myself. I was recently rejected by my first love, high school sweetheart, and steady college girlfriend. All and all, we were together four and a half years. Its painful, and at times I went through emotions, feelings, and thoughts similiar to yours. "I'm better now", and it feels so good to say something I actually believe. Here is some advice... Don't talk to her! Throw away pictures or anything else that reminds you of her. These things are only torturing you. When I say don't talk to her I mean it. For example, the other day I ran into my ex with some other mutual friends at a bar. We made eye contact and she smiled. I just looked beyond her and kept walking with my head high. Believe me if you truly want her back you have to make her want to you back. Right now, obviously she doesn't want you in her life. So suck it up and take some pride in yourself. Rely on you friends and family to get you through these difficult times. Don't be afraid to call up one of your buddies and ask to hang out. Do ANYTHING to keep you from sitting in your house thinking about her and the good times you had. There is an expression and I truly believe in it; we always want what we can't have. Right now rejection and fear is making you believe that she was the women of your dreams. Well guess what, she wasn't! You fear that you're not going to be able to find anyone better, and rejection is one of the worst feelings in the world. Its terrible to accept that someone doesn't want you, especially after you spent so much time with them. You're a young man, and you have your whole life ahead of you. Just because your parents got married when they were in their early twenties doesn't mean you have too. Rebuild and establish yourself. Figure out who you are now without her. Get used to thinking this way. You are your number one priority. Treat yourself good and think positively. Buddy, I think you and I were in the same senario, only with different villans. I loved my ex with everything, and maybe a small piece of me still does, but I've buried that piece in my past, and now all does is serve as a reminder of the person I once was. I was more in love with the feeling of being in love. Everyone loves having a person that all you want to do is lay in bed together, or can make watching a movie the most exciting time. But I believe being in love is more about the feeling then the person. Granted this person generates these emotions, but it all about finding the right people. Right now you don't need to jump back into a relationship and fall in love, because it wouldn't be healthy and it would most likely fall. But be around those that make laugh and smile. Because inorder to find another girl, or even get your ex back, first you must love yourself. THe saying cliche, but thats because it is so true. Stay strong, and don' t give up.
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