BornToDie Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 To start, this year has been rough for me. In short, my mother passed away from cancer in March, and in May, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 3 years. We had good times, but he cheated during the last year, made comments about my weight, and basically did not love me the way he used to. A month before it ended, I cheated on him and fell into somewhat of a depression, so I started seeing a psychologist and have done so since. Our contact since we broke it off has been cruel. I texted him a week after it was over, and he told me he had no interest in working it out. A month after, I couldn't get him out of my head, and he was even worse. He told me he never loved me and was always thinking about being with someone else. He said that he wasn't going to "waste his sleep arguing with me over things that weren't important to him," so I got angry and confessed that I had cheated. I knew that I had broken off all possible ties then, but I was so hurt that I didn't care. Right now, I am off at college, and he is working about an hour away. He's coming back to college in December and will be living literally across the hallway at my apartment complex (this was not planned, it just happened). I can't break free from this for a number of reasons. First, his parents wanted us to get married, and I loved him and his family dearly. His mom broke into tears when I came to get my things. Second, whenever I come home, I always end up somewhere that reminds me of him. For example, I went to Barnes and Noble yesterday and couldn't stop thinking about how we went there all the time. Next, I know this is incredibly wrong, but I have his Facebook password and check in from time to time. I see him message girls, and it kills me to think about him with someone else. I know that needs to stop. I know it's as simple as forgetting him and letting go. Stop checking his Facebook. We did each other wrong and would never work out again, and he's never going to contact me. He's been very bitter and immature, telling his friends not to invite me to their parties because "he knew them first." I have to let it go, but it isn't that easy. He was my best friend and a huge part of my life, and most memories I have involve him.
Mike_d Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 simple - acceptance what his parents want is of no importance. nor how you felt about his family. you need to stop FB stalking him, there is nothing that will help you there, there is only pain. plus its just not honest behav. NC. and yes it isn't easy. its rough, brutally rough. but it is necessary, and it helps shield you from other pain. it will get easier
church9832 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 The Pain just goes away after a long time. The places that remind you of him are just memories, happy ones that you can keep if you want to but they're only just memories and they made you who you are. Life just throws you in dark places to make you realise that this person was not the one. The whole password thing, if you in a low contact situation with him. Tell him to change his password, or change it to a password that he won't like and tell him that password so he'll change it anyway. Parents have minimal say in your love life, family is important but you're important to. You're the one thats getting married and not them, better to have the right person. And this is just an extreme thing, but you should move further from him. Your room might reminded you anyway but its just an extreme not a must. My personal remedy: Find an activity that will calm you down and keep the pain at bay for those extreme events (such a break up or death in a family). For me, its going to confession, it always reminds me theres something better for me. IF you watch suits, Harvey Specter goes to his father's grave and shares whiskey with him, probebly spending the time he lost with his father. Good luck! Remember it takes time!
msfreebyme Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 It looks like you know the answer. It's just a matter of taking the first step of taking the action. It seems like you 2 aren't good for each other. Once you end this facebook stuff and longing over him and start looking at yourself things will start to clear up. I know.. I am going through about the same thing.
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