startnfresh Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 Word cannot describe how I feel maybe tears. My heart actually hurts, I've been in this position before and it's something that I can never get use to. I think that this time it actually hurts more than the last. I messed up today and it's my fault. I have been reading the forum and post about the NC and I have done it for a measly 4 days. But today for some stupid reason I decided to check her instagram and I saw somethings that I didn't like. And I know that I put myself in this position and I have made myself feel this way. I really wanted to call or txt her and tell her about herself but I decided to post here instead. This is the final thing that I would say to her: I thought I knew you but I honestly I have no idea who you are, I guess for those 11 months you pretended to be something that you are not. I can honestly say that I see you for what you really are. And I know that I wasn't perfect and that I hurt you and sometimes made you feel unwanted but I would have never did what you have done to me. Right now I wish I would have hurt you even more and I know that's really immature but that's how I feel. Maybe there was a reason why all of your exes treated you like **** and I should have join the team. You are no longer my concern or my business and you will not be hearing from me. Right now I am in re-building mode only to become more stronger, and the next lucky person that catches me will have you to thank. I hope you have a great life you stupid bitch ( I prob wouldn't end it like that but it would be close to it) If you made it down this far, I actually feel much better. I vow on my mother's grave that i will not engage any contact with her at all, which means I won't FB stalk or instagram stalk. I am done with that and I am done with feeling like this. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulder well more like my heart. From now on my focus will be on me and the people that are in my life. I know that it won't be easy but I will take one day at a time. Thanks for reading if you made it this far and could really use some support guys!
GoneToCode Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 Well, you are correct: One day you WILL feel OK. Just give it time is all. You already have the right attitude. Just make sure you stick with it.
Sc_rugger Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 Man I feel you! I really really do. Every day I write 2 letters 1 good/nice to her and 1 bad/mean. At first the good/nice ones were the longest... But over the past week the bad/mean ones are longer. I lost my best friend and my future wife. And the letter I wrote today thanked her for treating me the way she has this past month because when I find someone better they will be treated so great because the hurt you caused only makes me want to love someone more when the day comes when I'm ready to give my heart away.... I've been in NC for a day, and I know I have a long road ahead of me, but I'm so glad I never have to see or hear from her. And if she tries I will ignore. Everyone deserves to be treated special! It would be so nice to have a LoveShack convention, bc everyone here knows what's up!
Recommended Posts