Dblock10 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 so.. just heard from my ex, saying *my name* not spoke to u in a while, how are you i've been nc for 6 weeks, didn't respond to her previous message which was just chit chat stuff. i'm just wondering what to do, i think i've just got to admit defeat and realise all i can and will be to her is an ex whom she is friendly with. and who knows maybe long run that might be the best thing. course i'd like more but she moved away. again this is just a chit chat message from her. part of me is i'm tempted to respond and ask is she seeing anyone.. then if she is, at least i can just say oh right so no reason for us to talk again then.. bye. Just don't get why this ex would keep trying to stay in touch with me when i've not fed any reason to receive a message. out of all my past relationships this has never happened to me. normally when i go nc thats the end of it, i never hear back. so it seems ive come to an inevitable cross roads, clearly deleting her and going nc would look strange at this point. some form of words needs to be said. or do i just admit defeat
Author Dblock10 Posted September 24, 2012 Author Posted September 24, 2012 yeah man i know thats right. think ive just got to summon will power and accept this is all it will ever be, that being said i want to know if she is just like this with all her ex's or what.
geegirl Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 I thought you blocked her. You said you installed an app in your phone to block her. How did she contact you?
Author Dblock10 Posted September 24, 2012 Author Posted September 24, 2012 not me geegirl. i've just avoided fb and didn't reply to her last msg. I'd like to be able to speak to her without worry and indifference, letting someone go is the hardest thing to do. this was via fb msg
geegirl Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 My bad. Must have gotten myself mixed up with another poster. Yes, detaching is difficult but you can do it if you put your mind to wanting to get to that stage of indifference.
bluefairy812 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 so.. just heard from my ex, saying *my name* not spoke to u in a while, how are you i've been nc for 6 weeks, didn't respond to her previous message which was just chit chat stuff. i'm just wondering what to do, i think i've just got to admit defeat and realise all i can and will be to her is an ex whom she is friendly with. and who knows maybe long run that might be the best thing. course i'd like more but she moved away. again this is just a chit chat message from her. part of me is i'm tempted to respond and ask is she seeing anyone.. then if she is, at least i can just say oh right so no reason for us to talk again then.. bye. Just don't get why this ex would keep trying to stay in touch with me when i've not fed any reason to receive a message. out of all my past relationships this has never happened to me. normally when i go nc thats the end of it, i never hear back. so it seems ive come to an inevitable cross roads, clearly deleting her and going nc would look strange at this point. some form of words needs to be said. or do i just admit defeat unless she is crying, begging, trying to be back with you by any means, don't respond. she has no reason to hear back from you. you are no longer her concern. i know its hard. but your doing good. all this work u have done, don't let it go and keep it up!!! 1
Author Dblock10 Posted September 24, 2012 Author Posted September 24, 2012 yeah i am thinking that tbh. just don't know what she wants from me. telling me she has feelings when we met, slept together, then she leaves tells me she is content/happy being single and all the rest. I obviously failed to read her intentions and had hoped us having sex and meeting up again expressing feelings meant more to me than it did her. and even though her contact is every 5-6 weeks, is there a point? i understand i'm an ex and she probably trying to be friendly etc, but she knew how i felt about her. it doesn't make sense in my eyes for an ex to keep in touch or re-initiate contact consistently after this amount of time with no communication in between. if there life is all well and dandy now why bother?.
bluefairy812 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 yeah i am thinking that tbh. just don't know what she wants from me. telling me she has feelings when we met, slept together, then she leaves tells me she is content/happy being single and all the rest. I obviously failed to read her intentions and had hoped us having sex and meeting up again expressing feelings meant more to me than it did her. and even though her contact is every 5-6 weeks, is there a point? i understand i'm an ex and she probably trying to be friendly etc, but she knew how i felt about her. it doesn't make sense in my eyes for an ex to keep in touch or re-initiate contact consistently after this amount of time with no communication in between. if there life is all well and dandy now why bother?. that's how it is! when they check in, they are getting their temporary fix, that all is well, they are cleaning their hands (aka their guilt) by knowing you are OK and moving on! she won't stop either until u tell her to take a hike... for good. or you can keep ignoring her. the worst thing ever is to be ignored. so keep doing it.
flitzanu Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 yeah i am thinking that tbh. just don't know what she wants from me. telling me she has feelings when we met, slept together, then she leaves tells me she is content/happy being single and all the rest. I obviously failed to read her intentions and had hoped us having sex and meeting up again expressing feelings meant more to me than it did her. and even though her contact is every 5-6 weeks, is there a point? i understand i'm an ex and she probably trying to be friendly etc, but she knew how i felt about her. it doesn't make sense in my eyes for an ex to keep in touch or re-initiate contact consistently after this amount of time with no communication in between. if there life is all well and dandy now why bother?. she doesn't want anything from you other than to get validation from you that you're alive so she doesn't have to feel guilty about you being screwed up. block her already so she can't email you, or you're going to go through this pointless diatribe each time it happens. here's how it goes. you ignore this message. within a couple weeks or even days, she then writes again saying something like "oh i guess we can't be friends and you still hate me and never want to talk to me again" and then you'll end up giving in thinking she actually cares about you replying...and you will. then she tells you how happy she is and how life is great, and you should totally be friends and she'll introduce you to the new guy that's plowing her. and then you're stuck having to grin and bare it, otherwise you'll look worse for backtracking and cutting her out again after you've said you'd be "friends". and then, she wins again, guilt free. ask everyone on here just how often this whole scene plays out for them. 1
Author Dblock10 Posted September 24, 2012 Author Posted September 24, 2012 (edited) she doesn't want anything from you other than to get validation from you that you're alive so she doesn't have to feel guilty about you being screwed up. block her already so she can't email you, or you're going to go through this pointless diatribe each time it happens. here's how it goes. you ignore this message. within a couple weeks or even days, she then writes again saying something like "oh i guess we can't be friends and you still hate me and never want to talk to me again" and then you'll end up giving in thinking she actually cares about you replying...and you will. then she tells you how happy she is and how life is great, and you should totally be friends and she'll introduce you to the new guy that's plowing her. and then you're stuck having to grin and bare it, otherwise you'll look worse for backtracking and cutting her out again after you've said you'd be "friends". and then, she wins again, guilt free. ask everyone on here just how often this whole scene plays out for them. well that is obviously a very pessimistic way of viewing things. and probably for good reason. i agree it isn't to get me back, i doubt she feels any guilt, or knows how screwed up i am:/ it does sound like no doubt she will want to tell me how great her new life is, she cant physically introduce me to the new guy if that is the case, since she is in another country to me, however if that is the way it is, ill just say ok well congrats why you still talking to me now? Edited September 24, 2012 by Dblock10
mvc Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 i think by asking on here what to do means your not ready to talk to her? like they say if she is really desperate to talk she is going to go out of her way to make that happen. so at the very least ignore this one, if she doesnt try again you know it was just breadcrumbs to relieve some of her guilt.
witmadskilllz Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 After 2 years of NC, my ex sends me a ****ing text with just her name on it. How mind **** can you get from that? Not to mention post breakup 2 weeks in she was plowing with her old high school friend. **** that ****, why bother reopen wounds? Cut all contacts bro, lose her already, what makes her so important than the rest of the other girls who would better suit you?! She has to earn your respect to go through even mutual friendship imo. It's harder on us to even go through all this. Please, for the sake of all of us, go NC and move on with your life. Go fourth and prosper.
Author Dblock10 Posted September 25, 2012 Author Posted September 25, 2012 I ignored her last message. in a way I would feel bad allowing her to think all is well and that she is a mutual friend when really she hasn't been a friend and wasn't there even on a friendly level when it first went down. but then I can't hold that against her when she doesn't know that actually it did hurt meeting up and for me to basically get used to fill some time as she was bored
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