JSJS Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Remember her nastiness is her issue - not yours. You won't change her and nor should you waste the time or energy. She is only promising you she will come back so you will hang around as her backup. Trust me on this, I've been there while she was leading me on and it is truly horrible It's not healthy for you to be led on like that and you have to end it now for your own sake. Tell her to get lost and devote your energy to finding someone who deserves you!
Author Sc_rugger Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 Yup shes not my problem anymore... Well let her keep thinking she has me wrapped around her finger and that I would do what she wanted at the drop of a hat.... Cause that's all she'll ever have from me (her thinking she can have me!) I feel a lot better. I hope I can continue to feel this way. 1
Author Sc_rugger Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 Yup shes not my problem anymore... Well let her keep thinking she has me wrapped around her finger and that I would do what she wanted at the drop of a hat.... Cause that's all she'll ever have from me (her thinking she can have me!) I feel a lot better. I hope I can continue to feel this way. But I am curious as to how much time is gonna pass before she tries to "test the waters" or see if I'm still holding on....
JSJS Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 I feel a lot better. I hope I can continue to feel this way. Great! Keep busy and if you are having a rough day come back here or talk to someone. Don't get in touch with her! The other advice I would give is not to respond to what people here call 'breadcrumbs'. Things like 'we might go out again', 'I need more time' are only torture for you but will mess with your head. By the sound of it she will contact you again so be ready for it and stay strong if it happens.
Author Sc_rugger Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 Ya what are the point of "breadcrumbs"?
JSJS Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Ya what are the point of "breadcrumbs"? I can only assume so they still feel you are around and will be there if they are bored etc. I would never do that to someone. There truly are some horrible people out there - thankfully they are the minority!
Author Sc_rugger Posted September 24, 2012 Author Posted September 24, 2012 I guess her saying "I'm not just letting you go." is a breadcrumb? And... "Have faith that it won't be too late for you when I come back and want to be with you again"
Dblock10 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 erm yeah, its a line that gets you to hold on and wait in hope... it holds little value.
love does not exist Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 Man up! I know where your at. I was acting like a clown, and insecure for 6 days begging and whining, disrespecting myself. I've been in NC for only 4 days, but it's the only way. Let the whore go. There are more out there. Focus on yourself now.
love does not exist Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 I can only assume so they still feel you are around and will be there if they are bored etc. I would never do that to someone. There truly are some horrible people out there - thankfully they are the minority! Horrible people are the majority. 1
Author Sc_rugger Posted September 24, 2012 Author Posted September 24, 2012 Man up! I know where your at. I was acting like a clown, and insecure for 6 days begging and whining, disrespecting myself. I've been in NC for only 4 days, but it's the only way. Let the whore go. There are more out there. Focus on yourself now. We ended 8/18.... Talked every day till yesterday. I didn't do the begging or anything. I just tried to have a good time with her, she said she wished she smiled at the things I said but that one day she would again. There was a reason I asked her to marry me and she said yes right?
Frank13 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 she saw me as a best friend. Take this as the kiss of death.
Author Sc_rugger Posted September 24, 2012 Author Posted September 24, 2012 Take this as the kiss of death. We started as best friends, we maintained best friends throughout. I only wanted to marry my best friend.... She said the "spark" was gone and I told her why I wasn't in the mood and asked why are you telling me this now? She didn't have an answer, but said it hurt her that she bought a bunch of stuff from VS and I didn't look at her the same (btw I was fired from my job a week before, and my best friend was found dead that day) I told her I was sorry but I wasn't in the mood then, so she returned everything... It was valentines day and I do feel bad I didn't want to celebrate.
Author Sc_rugger Posted September 24, 2012 Author Posted September 24, 2012 Help! I want to talk to her already!!! I'm tired of waiting for her to contact me
LostOne1 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 Help! I want to talk to her already!!! I'm tired of waiting for her to contact me the fact is she may never contact you.. but you need to give her time to miss you and that is if she misses you. While in that time you can heal and try to get over the pain. You don't want to be all like the way you are now, if she ever decides to see you again. For me it's been a month and I LOOK much better, got new glasses, new clothes, work out my body looks much more ripped. I was kinda fat before, finally lost 20 pounds and I look awesome. 2 girls even checked me out today and gave me a smile. I feel good about myself and im healing. That way if my ex one day ever does give me a chance.. I won't be this whiny, crying, weak guy. I'll be a new improved version of me, which will attract her more. She will sit there and say wow.. im impressed you really have changed. And it will be a good change. For now.. work on yourself. Do things you haven't in awhile. Clean your room so it's all neat and tidy, change your clothes and wear something that makes you feel good. Best for me was working out. I let my anger, pain all out and the end result is that I vent it all out and my body looks good and I feel fit! 1
Author Sc_rugger Posted September 24, 2012 Author Posted September 24, 2012 She promised that she would come back and we would talk... I could have a number of girls (not to sound cocky) I don't want anyone else. She said this was goodbye for now but not forever. She told my mom that we would talk again and that we left it on good terms, but I was so sad! I put on a front and she told me she would hold me to everything I said... I know she's going out and having fun, but she left me with "I'm not just letting you go." And "I'll think of the good times when I can let go of the bad ones" She told me to hold on to my faith that she will come back before its too late... That's all I can think about. She broke me and she only knows a fraction of how much....
LostOne1 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 She promised that she would come back and we would talk... I could have a number of girls (not to sound cocky) I don't want anyone else. She said this was goodbye for now but not forever. She told my mom that we would talk again and that we left it on good terms, but I was so sad! I put on a front and she told me she would hold me to everything I said... I know she's going out and having fun, but she left me with "I'm not just letting you go." And "I'll think of the good times when I can let go of the bad ones" She told me to hold on to my faith that she will come back before its too late... That's all I can think about. She broke me and she only knows a fraction of how much.... dude.. DON'T bank on promises. My ex told me and promised when she gets back she will see me. NO it didn't happen, she refused to see me and made every excuse and we fought a bad one of all time. If she said what she did.. it means she wants you as a backup. I think my ex did the same, held me on a leash while she had another guy as an option and then picked him over me and got back to unleash it out on me. I will honestly say this is not looking good. I would just go NC and if she asks just say you can't wait forever. I mean her asking you to wait is giving her freedom to meet others and if she doesn't like them she can easily run back to you... but do you want that? someone else's sloppy seconds?
Author Sc_rugger Posted September 24, 2012 Author Posted September 24, 2012 No! But I just want her to realize that I'm what she wants. She's confused and I saw how much. Ya she's dating around. But I couldn't hold her for what she did while we were apart, just like I couldn't hold anything against her from before I met her.... And I'm going to go on dates and do what I want, but ultimately I want to get back with her
Dblock10 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 well then all you can do is live in hope mate. trust me it eats away at you. and doesn't help moving on at all. but given what you want and have said, all you can do is wait.. and be the safety net. if thats what you want to do, then by all means do it. just doesnt seem right in my eyes. and is pretty degrading.
TopCat22 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 Rugger, you want what we all want: another chance with our ex. But just because you want it doesn't mean you'll get it. You can't control how she feels! You can't make her see that she should be with you. She has to realise that herself. The only thing you can do is tell her that you won't be waiting for her... and mean it. She has no fear of losing you because she knows you'll take her back in a heartbeat. You're money in the bank. She can go off and see what else is out there and if it's not good then she has you to come back to. That could take years or it could never happen. Tell her it's over and you are not waiting around for her. It's not up to her to let you go, it's up to you to walk away. Make it clear you're moving on and then cut her off. She probably won't believe you at first, but then when she comes back to check if you're still there and you ignore her she'll panic. Then she will have to confront her feelings and decide if she really does want you. Sadly by then you will probably not want her anymore and see her for the person she truly is.
TopCat22 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 And another thing: "Have faith that it won't be too late for you when I come back and want to be with you again" Are you kidding me with this??????? Why are you letting her treat herself as if she's some almighty prize? This girl has such a price tag on herself it's unbelievable! You are the prize! Tell her to hope and pray that you still have any feeling for her when she comes back as you're too good to be strung along and will find someone more worthy or your time, effort and affection. If she wants to go out and devalue herself by screwing a bunch of random guys then it says how worthless she really is. Tell her how much pity you have for her, she sounds like a sad, lost creature...
Author Sc_rugger Posted September 24, 2012 Author Posted September 24, 2012 Well my little predicament is that she wants some time apart. So I think me telling her now that I'm not waiting around and she doesn't have to let me go cause I'm walking away wouldn't do anything but make her roll her eyes and say "whatever" to herself and "ok then I guess it wasn't meant to be" to me
TopCat22 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 And so what if she does say those things? She won't believe you until she finds you're gone anyway, as she thinks she has your nuts in a vice. If you can say those things to her (and mean them) then maybe you've planted the seed. If you just let her walk away thinking you're waiting on the doorstep for her then she really won't see any need to come back.
Author Sc_rugger Posted September 24, 2012 Author Posted September 24, 2012 So I should break the NC for that then just go right back to it?
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