HeavenOrHell Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Not sure why but this time I feel will be the worst for leaving him behind to come home, maybe because we've been through a lot emotionally this year and come out the other side stronger (that's how it feels anyway), split up for a short while basically because neither of us can move, hence me saying in other threads how the distance can break people up if neither of you can move, ie not because we don't love each other enough. His mum's got cancer, his work stress is high, and I feel closer to him than ever after the problems we had this year, and wish I didn't have to come home and be away from him So if we ever break up, yes it will be the distance because it is hard being apart, and neither of us can move for the foreseeable. Having said that, we have settled into it and cope well with it and make the best of what we have, and 2 1/2 years on it doesn't feel like we're about to give up yet. But coming home will be harder this time
justwhoiam Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 You mean you're there now? Until when?
Author HeavenOrHell Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 (edited) Yeah, here since the 17th, back on 27th, not sure when we'll next see each other, or whether we'll be able to meet for xmas cos of his work, and his mum being ill Hope we'll be able to have a long weekend in November, but don't know yet. Sod's law he has to work today, the only Sunday this year he has to work! You mean you're there now? Until when? Edited September 23, 2012 by HeavenOrHell
justwhoiam Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 I'm happy for you! Sounds like me! Can you cook for him? Can you meet him for lunch? You still have a few days! How's it going? What did you do? Was he nice?
january2011 Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 I can empathise with your situation, HoH. At my last visit, I was a mess at the airport and it was such a wrench to tear myself away from him. During my visits, after the halfway point, it feels like everything is in countdown mode and I find it difficult to make the most of the time remaining. The mixed emotions have also made me question whether or not we can keep doing this. However, there are also so many moments that reinforce how we feel about each other. It is very difficult to picture life without him. Every time I've returned home, I take a while to decompress. But then I normally arrange a lot of things for myself. I throw myself into making the best of those until I see him again. Other than working towards being in the same place, I think that's all we LDR people can do: focus on the other parts of our lives so that we don't spend too much time mulling over not being with our partners.
Author HeavenOrHell Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 Thank you We've met about 20 times before, ranging from 4 days to 11 days together each time. Yes I cook for us while he's at work, going to make his favourite cake in a while, he doesn't get time off for lunch and he's at least an hour away by train at work, but that's ok, he's had half the time off work while I've been here, which has been lovely It's going really well, our visits together are always just so lovely and precious. We've been out and about visiting places, met his parents for the 3rd time, lots of just cuddling up and watching movies, we like cooking together too, we went to our fave animal sanctuary, we often spend hours there. I even enjoy just shopping with him, all the day to day things which couples often take for granted. Yes, he's lovely I'm happy for you! Sounds like me! Can you cook for him? Can you meet him for lunch? You still have a few days! How's it going? What did you do? Was he nice? 3
Author HeavenOrHell Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 Thanks for your reply Usually Im not too bad, I'm normally just feeling happy to have seen him and feel on a high for a while, just a little bit teary after he's or I've gone. Yes, I'm more than halfway through my visit now, and I know what you mean, we only have 3 eves and a day left now. Your second paragraph is exactly how I feel, we did split up briefly for this reason, but it was far worse being apart altogether than it is being long distance, so it does feel like we just make the most of what we've got, for as long as we both feel able to I guess, as I can't see the circumstances changing for either of us being able to move, it's almost like we've let go of that (moving), for now at least, as there's no point dwelling on it, concentrate on what we do have instead. I've got some nice things with friends planned for when I get home, which will help, and other stuff to keep me busy, will also try and plan our next visit soon, which helps. I hope things are good with you at the moment... QUOTE=january2011;4277926]I can empathise with your situation, HoH. At my last visit, I was a mess at the airport and it was such a wrench to tear myself away from him. During my visits, after the halfway point, it feels like everything is in countdown mode and I find it difficult to make the most of the time remaining. The mixed emotions have also made me question whether or not we can keep doing this. However, there are also so many moments that reinforce how we feel about each other. It is very difficult to picture life without him. Every time I've returned home, I take a while to decompress. But then I normally arrange a lot of things for myself. I throw myself into making the best of those until I see him again. Other than working towards being in the same place, I think that's all we LDR people can do: focus on the other parts of our lives so that we don't spend too much time mulling over not being with our partners.
january2011 Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 You sound really positive, HoH The SO has plans to come over in December and I might accompany him on his return flight. Hope the rest of your visit goes well! 2
Author HeavenOrHell Posted September 25, 2012 Author Posted September 25, 2012 Home day after tomorrow I know I shouldn´t, but I do envy those whose partners live 100 miles away or closer. Not looking forward to my empty bed.
Els Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Aww, HoH {{hugs}}. The first few days after the separation is always the hardest, but you're a strong girl. You'll pull through it. You always have.
january2011 Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Elswyth's right. You'll pull through, HoH. It'll be okay. You have lots to look forward to when you get home.
Author HeavenOrHell Posted September 25, 2012 Author Posted September 25, 2012 Thank you both of you, it´s harder this time for a few reasons, but you´re right, I´ll get back into my life back home again, need to look at the positives, and I feel lucky despite everything. 2
cerridwen Posted September 26, 2012 Posted September 26, 2012 How are you, HOH? Hopefully you're not reading this today and are visiting with him instead. But, check in and let us know how you're doing once you're settled back home. Hugs. I have faith November's meeting will happen. 1
Author HeavenOrHell Posted September 29, 2012 Author Posted September 29, 2012 Thanks cerridwen and for your PM's I'm a bit up and down, but mostly ok, a mixture of being happy from seeing him, and subdued because I'm here without him, coming home to my empty house wasn't great, but he called which was lovely. Also have PMT, which doesn't help Hoping to meet November, if he can get time off, not sure we'd be able to manage xmas as well though. I feel loved up and closer to him than ever. How are you, HOH? Hopefully you're not reading this today and are visiting with him instead. But, check in and let us know how you're doing once you're settled back home. Hugs. I have faith November's meeting will happen. 1
justwhoiam Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Hoping to meet November, if he can get time off, not sure we'd be able to manage xmas as well though. If you can't have both, I'd definitely choose Xmas. It's worth the wait.
Author HeavenOrHell Posted September 29, 2012 Author Posted September 29, 2012 3 months away though We usually only leave it 7 or 8 weeks, might be worth it though I guess, although neither of us really celebrates xmas as such, it was lonely being on my own last year, and he sounded bored, I found it really depressing, especially as his skype was down for 10 days, ugh. I've been dreading this xmas for a while already in case all my friends are busy with family again and I'm on my own again. If you can't have both, I'd definitely choose Xmas. It's worth the wait.
justwhoiam Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 it was lonely being on my own last year, and he sounded bored, I found it really depressing, especially as his skype was down for 10 days, ugh. I totally understand what you mean. The very same thing happened to me few years ago. The line was back some time in January. Quite a hassle. Also, Christmas alone is very sad. It's a time to be/get together, definitely. A time to enjoy the small things in life. To share. To be warm. 1
Author HeavenOrHell Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 Looks like it's going to be weekend in November where we'll meet half way, and I'll go there for a week in January hopefully, xmas would've been nice but it means waiting 3 months, this way we can have an extra visit, so in the long run I think that's best. 2
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