LeliAndKyli Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 I've been in this LDR for about a year and a half, and recently I've been having some conflicting emotions. First though, just a bit of history. I met him 3-4 years ago and a year ago we started dating. This is my junior year in highschool and his freshman year in college. Now, I love him with everything I have and things were going awesome until recently. With his first year, we haven't been talking to much, and that hurts me. I know he loves me too, he gave me his class ring, which means a lot to me, but he's always so busy. He doesn't reply until late at night or the next day. He also seems to be having a lot of fun in college and that sounds nice... But anyways, I feel like maybe I'm holding him back somehow. Like... He could be doing more if maybe he didn't have to worry about me and he could focus on college. We don't talk as often as we should, we usually just text... Should I maybe consider telling him to leave me and focus on school? I'm sad at how little contact we have, and I honestly try to avoid thinking about it or lest I burst into tears. I would be horribly devestated but I want what's best for him, even if it kills me inside. I'm really sad... At everything. We've never met before, which adds to the horrible pile of angst I feel. Maybe some of you guys with experience could shed some light and help?
justwhoiam Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 You're 16, he's 18. You've never met him. How did you start dating him??? This thing is gonna die on its own I guess.
Author LeliAndKyli Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 Well it started off as Long Distance friends... If that helps any. I didn't even think it would last this long. I thought I was waaaay too young for... This relationship. I still think I'm too young. I'm almost 17 if it makes a difference? Probably not. I'm kind of losing interest, which is also part of the conflict.
ladyabstrused Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Well you should really discuss those thoughts you have with him. Not all LDRs are the same but if you ask me, I'd say just be friends if he means something to you because as it is, I don't think you would call this a proper relationship, let alone an LDR, with such minimal contact etc. And yes you're right, you're still very young, so go out there and meet other guys in your local area.
BornToDie Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 LDRs are hard enough on their own. I know it doesn't seem like it, but you are relatively very young. I'm a sophomore in college, and my ex boyfriend and I dated from junior year in high school to freshman year in college. In my freshman year alone, I changed drastically as a person, and so did he. The people I met, the friends I made, the things I wanted, the future I was going for... it all changed for us both. We couldn't do it. The same thing may happen with him. With the whole shortage in conversation, though, you have to remember that college is a whole new ballgame in comparison to high school. In high school, you do your homework, take a test, have a bunch of free time. In college, you are literally going to school during the day and mostly reading and studying at night. He's busy. You just need to have a serious conversation and tell him that you understand that he is busy, and you understand college is a huge change, but if you are hindering him, you don't want to be holding him back. This way, you won't sound demanding, and you are giving him room for honesty. 1
Author LeliAndKyli Posted September 24, 2012 Author Posted September 24, 2012 Wow. Thank you... I'm going to try to work up the courage to talk to him... This is very helpful. I appreciate it. I've been feeling really torn since I began thinking about this and maybe some honest conversation will help...
msfreebyme Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 I believe it would be best to talk it out with him and see what he wants out of this relationship. Maybe it would be best if you guys could be friends if (correct me if I am wrong) have never met.
Author LeliAndKyli Posted September 24, 2012 Author Posted September 24, 2012 Huh... Well... Now I'm having trouble working up the courage to talk to him...
martinhengri Posted September 27, 2012 Posted September 27, 2012 I do not think you have much of a choice in this. He really has made the choice....whether for him or for you, he wants to go with other girls while away at college.and because of this, if others ask you out, you should go. I will tell you that I did marry my high school sweetheart and we both went to different colleges although not quite as far a distance as 5 hrs.
NewPerspective93 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I am a male in college, and like the poster that said something about college being different, they're right. It's not the same thing as high school, since one has to go to class AND do most of the studying outside of the classroom. I learned this the hard way, lol. Nevertheless, talk to him about this. You are also young, and there are other things out there. You might change perceptions and views once you matriculate at a university/college, too, so don't be betting your heart on this. Just out of curiosity, have you ever met? Best of luck.
Author LeliAndKyli Posted November 24, 2012 Author Posted November 24, 2012 We haven't met yet, but young and broke, it's kinda hard. I've given this a lot of thought and I've sort of decided that if this does die on it's own, well at least we had a good run. I don't doubt that he'll change, obviously he will, but we were friends before we were a couple and if he finds someone in college, I'll only mope for a couple of months... I'll be glad for him and hope that he'll keep in touch because I really do care about him a lot. Sure I might be a little damaged at the end, but most everybody is at the end of any.relationship, romantic or not. Also.... Uh. The replies originally seemed harsh to me but really it's the cold truth, even though I could argue that "it's not like that, it's different", you guys in LDRs know what you're talking about and I hope none of you have steered me wrong. I'm young and impressionable, so I look to you guys for advice.
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