church9832 Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Okay so heres the story, My former girlfriend broke up with me due to LDR, where it didn't feel like a couple when we were apart. But I had booked a flight before the break up to where she was, I went because we decided we both need closure. I'm still here btw. Anyway, after a day of silent treatment from her, we finally talked everything over and got the closure we needed. but we also talked about NC when I leave, I agree. I'm just scared that I made the wrong and right decision at the sametime. Time will heal, but I'm impatient like that. I just worry that she might turn out to hate me, which I do not want. I still have the happy memories and I don't want them to contract her by her hating me (possibly).
Calico Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 (edited) I think there are only decisions, not right or wrong decisions. The thing is, you just never know what will happen, and often enough you don't even know everything that's happening right now. So I wouldn't stress about it. No matter what you do, in the end everything will be well. Getting to a place where you don't care about whether your ex hates you (or what she thinks, does and says) is the goal. You can't control what other people do or think, only what you do and what you think. Why try? That's the work you have to do. As long as you are afraid or intimidated, you won't be who you are, and you won't be free. Edited September 23, 2012 by Calico
Author church9832 Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 I just don't know. To lose something every dear to me, I just don't know. I don't want her back, but I don't want her to hate me.
Calico Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 You can always do Limited Contact and see how it goes. It's less "final" (NC isn't really that final either), so there is less pressure. Chances are that it'll prolong healing, though, but if it's a mutual breakup, it may work. NC is usually best if one person is in love and the other isn't.
Author church9832 Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 Hmmm... I guess its another gamble with me.
TopCat22 Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 If you both agree to the NC then I don't see why she'd hate you. I think a lot of the fear is on our own minds. NC is supposed to give you space away from each other to heal. It's a tough process (I'm going through it right now - day 23!) but it does alter your perspective of the other person and the RS. If you can handle the pain of being in contact with her then maybe it makes you feel better short term, but in the long run it will probably delay your moving on like Calico said.
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