sofrustrated25 Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 So a girlfriend asks me about this scenario. Her boyfriend says he wants to take relationship to sex. She agrees with some reluctance. He's thrilled. Now all of a sudden he wants to see her fast! She only had an hour or so after work Friday.. So he says ok let's meet saturday instead. He doesn't just want to meet for a drink on Friday. Well on Saturday she's tied up with a charity event. So she suggests Sunday and he says... He will be watching football all day. He is a football addict... But isn't that extreme...?
MrCastle Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 He is a football addict... But isn't that extreme...? Depends who's playing that week. 1
MrCastle Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 No but honestly, for me, getting me out of the house on Sunday? Good luck. During football season? Even more so. But it's less about football and more about me taking 1 day out of my week to unwind. I always feel entitled to just 1 lazy day where I'm in my pajamas, doing laundry, watching tv, and getting ready for the week ahead. I supposed his stance can be seen as extreme but I think for myself, even Mila Kunis would have a tough time convincing me to see her on Sunday.
CptObvious Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Not really, there are a lot of things that are more enjoyable than sex. For example, I'd rather play APB with tigelton clan members.
pinton Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 no he isnt an addict, he is "Selfish" nothing more, nothing less, she will be better off without a guy like him. sorry it had to be said
Fondue Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 no he isnt an addict, he is "Selfish" nothing more, nothing less, she will be better off without a guy like him. sorry it had to be said God forbid a dude (or dudette) has interests outside the relationship, right? 1
todreaminblue Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 So a girlfriend asks me about this scenario. Her boyfriend says he wants to take relationship to sex. She agrees with some reluctance. He's thrilled. Now all of a sudden he wants to see her fast! She only had an hour or so after work Friday.. So he says ok let's meet saturday instead. He doesn't just want to meet for a drink on Friday. Well on Saturday she's tied up with a charity event. So she suggests Sunday and he says... He will be watching football all day. He is a football addict... But isn't that extreme...? She agreed with reluctance is a red flag to me......in my opinion she should wait...she isnt ready anyway....take it as a win win situation...deb 1
pinton Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 (edited) well i said he was being selfish because it appeared to me that he may have just told her he was watching football all day sunday in retaliation to her not being able to manage it on saturday (kind of like a tit fot tat scenario) it was he not she who wanted to take it to a "sexual" relationship, and if it was me, i would give up anything for such an encounter with my girlfriend, especially if it was going to be a "first time" im not suggesting anyone in a relationship needs to give up any of their interests, i think this case was worthy of giving up footy for a day. Edited September 23, 2012 by pinton
january2011 Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 To be honest, these two sound like they prioritise everything else in their lives above each other. Two people in a relationship who are too busy to meet up, to have sex, don't seem particularly suited to a long-term relationship, in my opinion. How do they maintain the emotional bond between them if their social lives and downtime are prioritised over their relationship and there's not integration? If it were an LDR, then that might be a bit more understandable, as travelling to see each other would eat up a lot of time. I agree with xxoo, why can't they watch football together? Why aren't they going to the charity event together? 2
KraftDinner Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Actually yeah, I agree with January2011. It's like neither is really that interested in the other. I mean, it's fine to like football and of course there's nothing wrong with watching it all Sunday, but let's face it - at the beginning of a relationship you kinda go out of your way to see each other if you're really into each other. So he's not selfish or bad, but rather obviously not interested enough. And she wouldn't be reluctant. So yeah, no loss either way.
soccerrprp Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Hmmm...how long have they been dating? I am an avid soccer (the real "foot" ball) fan and watch the EPL, but would take the time to have sex with my gf any day over watching soccer. Besides, why not watch or do activities together? Watch the game while having sex!
EasyHeart Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Every good relationship is built on compromise. She could give him a BJ during the first half while he drinks beer and eats nachos. Then they could have sex during halftime. Afterwards, she makes him a sammich while he checks his fantasy football score. Think, people! THINK!!!
MrCastle Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Every good relationship is built on compromise. She could give him a BJ during the first half while he drinks beer and eats nachos. Then they could have sex during halftime. Afterwards, she makes him a sammich while he checks his fantasy football score. Think, people! THINK!!! Are you a woman? If so, are you married? If not, will you marry me?
runner Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 doesn't sound like there's much of a spark in that relationship; coupled with the, 'he's just not that into her', if he'd rather watch a bunch of steroided men than be naked with her. i dunno, maybe i'm just a romantic. if i were her, i'd find a more sexual guy who wants to get it on. 1
Author sofrustrated25 Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 Well he had kinda dumped her last week because he felt that she wasn't going to get physical. So she finally called him and told him that wasn't the case she was just trying to take it slow. She suggested that maybe they have a nice night together... So Friday she offered to meet up for a bit... But she has work Then Saturday... The charity event she went alone because it developed while he wasnt talking to her. So he wanted her to come over at midnight last night after her event. She said how about Sunday... She was free all day. And he said he had football.
iris219 Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 I'd be turned off if a guy dropped something he loved doing just to have sex with me. Is he really that desperate to get laid or that much of a doormat that he can't say no to me?
january2011 Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Well he had kinda dumped her last week because he felt that she wasn't going to get physical. So she finally called him and told him that wasn't the case she was just trying to take it slow. She suggested that maybe they have a nice night together... So Friday she offered to meet up for a bit... But she has work Then Saturday... The charity event she went alone because it developed while he wasnt talking to her. So he wanted her to come over at midnight last night after her event. She said how about Sunday... She was free all day. And he said he had football. I think this extra information helps to explain why he's not willing to make the effort. From his point of view, she's not making the effort. Unless she meets him more than halfway and picks up the slack, I don't see this relationship going anywhere. At this stage, he's just not convinced that she wants to be with him physically - she may just be dangling a carrot to try to save the relationship. Since he's already "kinda dumped her" this might be just a booty call for him anyway. Has it even been agreed that they continue the relationship? I'd also suggest that next time your friend wants to take it slow, she is honest and discusses it with the other person. This will help to ensure that the other person doesn't jump to conclusions about why she doesn't seem keen to get physical. Otherwise, it does indeed look like game-playing. 1
xxoo Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 If he was about to dump her because they weren't having sex, I don't think she should hurry up and have sex with him. Better to let him go. 3
xxoo Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 I'd be turned off if a guy dropped something he loved doing just to have sex with me. Is he really that desperate to get laid or that much of a doormat that he can't say no to me? Football all day? I'm not saying he should drop dinner plans with grandma. But he couldn't find time in his entire day of football to see a woman who wants to get in his pants?
iris219 Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Football all day? I'm not saying he should drop dinner plans with grandma. But he couldn't find time in his entire day of football to see a woman who wants to get in his pants? Maybe Sunday is his day to decompress. He probably watches TV, drinks beer, and likes being lazy. If you date a surfer, you aren't going to see him when the waves are good. If you date a musician and his out of town band friends are in town, you aren't going to see him. If you date an avid golfer, you aren't going to see him all day when he goes to play golf. Maybe I'm too understanding...
xxoo Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Maybe Sunday is his day to decompress. He probably watches TV, drinks beer, and likes being lazy. If you date a surfer, you aren't going to see him when the waves are good. If you date a musician and his out of town band friends are in town, you aren't going to see him. If you date an avid golfer, you aren't going to see him all day when he goes to play golf. Maybe I'm too understanding... It probably depends on expectations and relationship style. I'd be pretty unhappy if my partner didn't feel that he could decompress and watch football with me. Also, sex is a big part of decompressing, in addition to connecting! I do expect time with me to be a high priority in my partner's life. If he doesn't love to spend time with me, forget it. 1
iris219 Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 It probably depends on expectations and relationship style. I'd be pretty unhappy if my partner didn't feel that he could decompress and watch football with me. Also, sex is a big part of decompressing, in addition to connecting! I do expect time with me to be a high priority in my partner's life. If he doesn't love to spend time with me, forget it. I'd be more upset if my partner expected me to watch football with him!
Author sofrustrated25 Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 She did tell him she wanted to take it slow. But I guess it just became too much for him. She just got divorced and he is single with one child. She also has a child so she's just trying to be smart. Personally I don't think she should sleep with him unless he's committed. 1
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