Sameold Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 I thought the last messages I sent to my ex were strong, educated and meaningfully described what I thought of her disgusting behaviour but here I am nearly 80 days of NC and we have finally sorted the flat out now. I feel like texting her saying "never, ever contact me again you peice of scum" or similar..... I guess for fear that she cheated on me in our relationship. I have no proof that she did, just seems like she was lining a guy up for when we split but thinking about it now angers me. Would it just be stupid to lash out like this now?
HopelesslyWaiting Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 I wouldnt... theres no need to make contact if its been that long... if you didnt say it when it happened no need to bring it up now!!!
ponette Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 yes; don't bother. what would be the point? to make yourself look emotional and out of control? don't give her thebsatisfaction, and please, maintain your dignity. you'll be glad you did.
johnc342345 Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Lashing out will only cause you to look weak, and after you do that you'll feel even worse go to the gym hit the weights or the punching bag. 1
Sav Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 agreed. take the high road. You'll be remembered as the guy who didn't break when she tried instead of a whining puss. Hold onto that shred of dignity like it's all you have. She's gone now, fk her ^^ 1
bluescityangel Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 I say write it out. Type it out. Whatever it out. Write it. Reread it. Edit it. Make it perfect. Generally by the time I have made it perfect I realize why it doesn't matter if I send it or burn it..but I usually keep it to where I know I am never going there again. 1
TopCat22 Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 I'm with everyone else on this, DON'T DO IT. I'm in a similar position. I think my ex was cheating (at least emotionally) at the end of our RS although I have no real proof. I never really confronted her about it and she got away lightly without having to face the guilt. Now I wish I'd made her feel it. Some days I want to call her up and tell her what an awful person she is and how broken she must be to do the things she does. Then i think, what good will it do? Other than hurt her it will achieve nothing. I doubt I would feel any better about myself. In fact I'd be more disappointed in myself for stopping so low. NC is for the best. Whenever I feel like calling and telling her, I remind myself that she's not even worth the cost of the call. She wasn't worthy of my love, she doesn't deserve my friendship and she certainly doesn't warrant any further emotion from me. 1
Calico Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Would it just be stupid to lash out like this now? When you give people a piece of your mind, you also give them a piece of your dignity, a piece of your focus and sometimes a piece of your health. That aside, if I had dumped someone months ago and suddenly I got an abusive message like that, I'd show it to my new partner and we'd both be like, "LOL, what a moron". It's probably not what you want. Expressing spitefulness isn't sexy. 2
JSJS Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Would it just be stupid to lash out like this now? Don't do it! You're better than her and if she was cheating then you are better off now. Writing it out is good advice - I did this after I told a friend I wanted to send one more message. My friend reminded me that I was now dropping to her level and it wasn't like me. I still wrote it to get it off my chest but never sent it and it helped. Spend your time and energy on positive things and bettering yourself. I'm doing that and it works. I've met some new people along the way and its fun!
love does not exist Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 I lashed out on my ex when I had to give my daughter to her after I caught her sleeping with another guy with my daughter in the same bed. I couldn't help myself. I felt guilty giving my daughter over because I was scared the same thing was going to happen while I was gone. It broke my heart. She is my princess.
JSJS Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 I lashed out on my ex when I had to give my daughter to her after I caught her sleeping with another guy with my daughter in the same bed. I couldn't help myself. I felt guilty giving my daughter over because I was scared the same thing was going to happen while I was gone. It broke my heart. She is my princess. You were totally entitled to and I don't see that as lashing out. You had to intervene to ensure your daughter is safe and that is very different. When a child's safety is at stake you have to do whatever it takes.
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