HopelesslyWaiting Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Its been three days since I last talked to my bf. We usually text like eveyday all day, but lately hes been really busy at work. For the the last week and a half its just been a quick text here and there and im the one that has to text first or we dont talk at all. I texted him two days and a row and havent gotten a response either day. Im really stressing out and dont know whats going on.
Mateo A. Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Why don't you just ask him what's going on?
Author HopelesslyWaiting Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 I would but he hasnt replied to the last couple of text meassages i have sent him...
Mateo A. Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Is it a long-distance relationship? When was the last time you saw him?
Author HopelesslyWaiting Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 not really long distance he lives like an hour away. i saw him a week and a half ago and then he got really busy with work.
Author HopelesslyWaiting Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 not long.. 3 months but it has always been a constant daily communication sweet text messages and all so im not sure if hes really just that busy or if something else is going on. Im friends with pretty much all of his cousins and they havent really gotten alot of communication from him this week either...
Mateo A. Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 What kind of work does he do? Is he an astronaut? A CIA agent? Maybe he's on a top secret mission and he can't talk to anyone.
Author HopelesslyWaiting Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 lol hes a manager of a cell phone store and he recently recieved a promotion and is in the starting phases of opening a new store while still being over the other store. So hes on the move all day and tired when he gets home, which i understand, but a quick call or messages isnt impossible...
FitChick Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 He sounds like he has a lot on his plate at the moment. Don't add to his stress. Just go about your business, do enjoyable things that you can talk about with him later. He knows how to reach you.
Author HopelesslyWaiting Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 Thats what i have been doing trying to bother him, thats why i havent went off and started blowing up his phone about why he isnt contacting me, i know theres alot going on and that his work is really important to him i just would like him to acknowledge that he misses me or knows i still exist!!!
frd150 Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Well, the new Iphone is out...I would suspect he is pretty busy. I have been dating a girl about the same ammount of time. I think 3 months is long enough to expect a certain level of respect that he is not showing. I get pretty busy at work and so does my girl but we still manage to fire texts back and fourth. Maybe just tell him " Hey I understand your busy...just let me know your ok". If he responds apologetically then your probably good. If not, he may be loosing interest...I hate to say it and I hope thats not the case.
Author HopelesslyWaiting Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 yeah im going to give it a couple of days but if he cant manage to communicate with me some kind of way then im going to have to say something and possible call it quits which i dont want to do, but may have to happen...
xpaperxcutx Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Nope sorry it doesn't make sense. No matter how busy someone is they still check their phones for missed calls or messages. Unless this was 10 years when personal cellphones were not a global phenomenon, I dobt see why he hadn't gotten back tp you. I believe he's intentionall ignoring you. 7
KraftDinner Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 To all those who think his behaviour is normal or that she should back off and let him have space or whatever... I don't understand your POV at all! In a relationship, you talk. Frequently. You don't IGNORE their texts! I feel like some people need to raise their standards a little. The OP should feel okay with being ignored? Would YOU feel okay with being ignored? You think it's okay to be ignored? It's so not okay. OP, the guy is blowing you off. Or he might come back around when it's convenient but he is really not that interested. And I'm sorry but cell phone stores aren't open 24/7...and what irony that a cell phone store manager can't find time to use a cell phone? BS. 2
january2011 Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 How about heading down there with a packed lunch? I find it mildly amusing that he manages a phone shop, is surrounded by phones and yet can't spare a minute to send a text. I agree that he's got to go to the bathroom and eat during the day - a quick text during those moments is not a big ask. Except if his mind isn't on you at all. If this is out of character behaviour, I'd be tempted to let it go. If, however, things haven't been great between the two of you, I'd add this 'disappearing act' to my list of things to be concerned about. 1
weallfalldown Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 why can't he talk to you in the evenings??????.....he doesn't work 24hrs does he?......sounds a bit suss...
tigressA Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Very, very bad idea to continue trying to contact/reach him in any way at this point. It's like a reward for bad behavior. I'm in agreement with those who say he's just ignoring you and doesn't care enough to respond. No one is ever too busy to respond to a message from someone they care enough about. Ever. 2
mysteryscape Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 He may be distancing himself from you or he may just feel swamped. Either way, he's disconnecting and your best bet is to let him contact you when he is feeling like he's missing you. Assuming that happens. But if he's starting to feel claustrophobic about the relationship -- happens all the time, especially to guys -- then bugging him is just going to make it far worse. Then, when he's communicative and in the mood to reconnect, I'd talk to him about it, tell him how it made you feel, and try to work through it with him. Will be interested to hear what happens.
Mateo A. Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 What we've got here is failure to communicate... Some men you just can't reach.
carhill Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 It sounds like he doesn't have the time for and/or interest in a healthy interpersonal relationship right now. Does that make him a bad partner? Nope. Just incompatible with your relationship style. For another person with a similar style, he'd be a match. IMO, find someone closer to you, both in distance and style of prosecuting a relationship. If you've been seeing him for three months, this is who he is. Acceptance is key. 1
phineas Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 If a woman ignored me like this guy i'd consider myself single, her dead, & start looking for someone else. serious. I've never had a woman act this way who wasn't checking out or pissed at me & OP hasn't mentioned an argument so.....
Jane2011 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 (edited) He should totally be replying to your messages. What a horrible boyfriend! I'd not tolerate it. I'd've yelled at him by now. (Well, probably not yelled at, but been highly annoyed by and let it be known). Edited September 24, 2012 by Jane2011
Leigh 87 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 To all those who think his behaviour is normal or that she should back off and let him have space or whatever... I don't understand your POV at all! In a relationship, you talk. Frequently. You don't IGNORE their texts! I feel like some people need to raise their standards a little. The OP should feel okay with being ignored? Would YOU feel okay with being ignored? You think it's okay to be ignored? It's so not okay. OP, the guy is blowing you off. Or he might come back around when it's convenient but he is really not that interested. And I'm sorry but cell phone stores aren't open 24/7...and what irony that a cell phone store manager can't find time to use a cell phone? BS. I agree. If a guy is in into you, he will find time to text a lousy message or even two MOST days. He does not work all night - and I am SURE he has a little bit of time to relax after work. Even if he goes to the gym most days after work, he stil has time to sit down while he eats dinner. He is not into you, because of one or more of the following reasons: He probably likes and cares about you as a person, but is not really into you in a romantic way.. or perhaps he is lukewarm about you and does like you a little but not enough to pursue a serious relationship with. Or maybe he is just after a girl who he likes enough to be around occasionally who will also be a convennient sex partner when he needs sex. Who knows. Sorry to say this, but in almost all loving and successful relationships, the two people are normally too attached to go days without talking.
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