DollWelch Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 As shallow (or un-shallow or ridiculous) as this may sound, I try to avoid dating "Pretty Boys". If I encounter a man who is out of my league, physically, I have a difficult time wanting to date him -simply because of the stereotypes that go along with being good looking and attractive. With that said, I have been talking to a guy lately -more so now than before, I have really got to know him more on a personal level. In any case, one day I realized that I could no longer continue talking to him because I had started to like him -and I didn't want to invest my time and feelings into something that was so far away (He lives quite a few hours away). He and I had a discussion about this, after I made the decision that I no longer wanted to keep in touch. I wanted to walk away from the situation. I wasn't ready to (and still aren't) continue this with him. To my surprise, he made it clear that he wants to take it slow, even though I did tell him that my stance on this situation wasn't going to change anytime soon. He seems to want to just take it one step at a time, knowing how I feel. I feel awfully insecure just talking to him -maybe that's my alarm going off because of my own physical attractiveness and knowing how good looking men behave. What is he thinking? And Where do I go from here? Did I make the right decision? I don't know where this is going but I think at some point, one of us is going to just let go (walk away from this). So why bother? Right?
GirlontheLam Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 If I had a time machine, I would tell my 20 year old self to not be so self-conscious about her looks and just go for it. Even if I thought the guy was out of my league. Lots of missed opportunities because I was insecure that such a "hot guy" could be into me. 2
jobaba Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 (edited) As shallow (or un-shallow or ridiculous) as this may sound, I try to avoid dating "Pretty Boys". If I encounter a man who is out of my league, physically, I have a difficult time wanting to date him -simply because of the stereotypes that go along with being good looking and attractive. With that said, I have been talking to a guy lately -more so now than before, I have really got to know him more on a personal level. In any case, one day I realized that I could no longer continue talking to him because I had started to like him -and I didn't want to invest my time and feelings into something that was so far away (He lives quite a few hours away). He and I had a discussion about this, after I made the decision that I no longer wanted to keep in touch. I wanted to walk away from the situation. I wasn't ready to (and still aren't) continue this with him. To my surprise, he made it clear that he wants to take it slow, even though I did tell him that my stance on this situation wasn't going to change anytime soon. He seems to want to just take it one step at a time, knowing how I feel. I feel awfully insecure just talking to him -maybe that's my alarm going off because of my own physical attractiveness and knowing how good looking men behave. What is he thinking? And Where do I go from here? Did I make the right decision? I don't know where this is going but I think at some point, one of us is going to just let go (walk away from this). So why bother? Right? If he's a good looking guy and he's a nice guy, then it doesn't matter how good looking he is. My best friend is really good looking and one of the nicest dudes in the world and he married a woman that many people have commented is not as good as he could have gotten. But she also is a successful physician. Honestly, women can easily pull men 2 to 3 points above their league and do it all the time. A lot of the women I know lust after the hottest guys no matter what they look like. He might dump you or cheat on you if he's hot and a jerk, but so might a guy who is in your league if he's a jerk. It's more about what kind of guy he is... If I had a time machine, I would tell my 20 year old self to not be so self-conscious about her looks and just go for it. Even if I thought the guy was out of my league. Lots of missed opportunities because I was insecure that such a "hot guy" could be into me. Funny. Every time I've gone for a woman 'out of my league' in my head, she was out of my league in reality (or at least in her head). Rejected... and to be honest none of those women were that hot. None of them consensus hot, but ... hot to me. In retrospect, I would not have taken some of those swings. They cost me a lot of pain and made me bitter. Edited September 23, 2012 by jobaba
CptObvious Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 I'll admit, sometimes I find 8s more desirable than 9s and 10s. Plus, I've had a few 7s grow on me over time(they were even like 32 with kids). Point is, people can be into you for the dumbest and most incomprehensible reasons. Don't question it. Accept the ****ing coincidence.
CptObvious Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Funny. Every time I've gone for a woman 'out of my league' in my head, she was out of my league in reality (or at least in her head). Rejected... and to be honest none of those women were that hot. None of them consensus hot, but ... hot to me. In retrospect, I would not have taken some of those swings. They cost me a lot of pain and made me bitter. Lol what a rookie. There isn't anything to be ashamed of when you strike out. It takes balls to swing for the fences, just make sure you don't do it when you have something to lose (i.e. in the workplace). My batting average is like .050 (5%) which believe it or not I'm actually proud of. In my opinion when you play as rushed as I do and give up as fast as I do, anything around 5% is amazing.
jobaba Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Lol what a rookie. There isn't anything to be ashamed of when you strike out. It takes balls to swing for the fences, just make sure you don't do it when you have something to lose (i.e. in the workplace). My batting average is like .050 (5%) which believe it or not I'm actually proud of. In my opinion when you play as rushed as I do and give up as fast as I do, anything around 5% is amazing. Rookie my a@@ man... I'm talking about women I truly liked and got to know inside/out over some period of time. Women I had some kind of feelings for who I had a thought might have been out of my league and it turns out they agreed with me. Those messed me up. But I've been rejected by hundreds of other women I barely knew or didn't really like and it hasn't bothered me. BTW, my batting average is lower than yours, with more at bats over more seasons and more than likely against worst competition. When I get on base, I do alright, but that rarely ever happens.
bob the brave Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 If you feel something for him and he is willing to go slow, then why walk away? GirlontheLam is right. However, if you don't feel anything then, yes, you are wasting your time and his.
yongyong Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Men usually don't have an insecurity when he dates someone better looking. (actually it makes him more confident in public) Obviously it's the opposite for women. How can they not have an insecurity when a man is prettier than her? Men get insecure when she is more successful (making more money, higher position) I think you will need a strong mentality to date a guy who's hotter than you. Look at David Beckham. what kind of options can he have? But it seems like Victoria is a bitch enough to control him......
todreaminblue Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 As shallow (or un-shallow or ridiculous) as this may sound, I try to avoid dating "Pretty Boys". If I encounter a man who is out of my league, physically, I have a difficult time wanting to date him -simply because of the stereotypes that go along with being good looking and attractive. With that said, I have been talking to a guy lately -more so now than before, I have really got to know him more on a personal level. In any case, one day I realized that I could no longer continue talking to him because I had started to like him -and I didn't want to invest my time and feelings into something that was so far away (He lives quite a few hours away). He and I had a discussion about this, after I made the decision that I no longer wanted to keep in touch. I wanted to walk away from the situation. I wasn't ready to (and still aren't) continue this with him. To my surprise, he made it clear that he wants to take it slow, even though I did tell him that my stance on this situation wasn't going to change anytime soon. He seems to want to just take it one step at a time, knowing how I feel. I feel awfully insecure just talking to him -maybe that's my alarm going off because of my own physical attractiveness and knowing how good looking men behave. What is he thinking? And Where do I go from here? Did I make the right decision? I don't know where this is going but I think at some point, one of us is going to just let go (walk away from this). So why bother? Right? I have dated pretty boys there was one guy in particular i told my friend i was interested in she told me go for it and i said no i don't know him i'm not his type....he was respectful good looking and a nice guy......she went over and told him.....he then came over to me and we dated he drove me home that night and we dated for about three months I broke it off and told him i couldn't see him anymore .....his mother was an italian woman with extremely strict views .I have insecurities when it come too good guys.....i have a past i have to share ....the good looking guys i have dated have mainly been pretty messed up...more so than me......but here have been times i have seen certain behaviours or attitudes that instantly attract me.....rare....but it happens....and when it does i listen with this good looking guy it was the way he held girls on the dance floor not all over them.....he was respectful and he was talking to women and having a good time....not heat seeking.......he danced with me and treated me exactly the same.....his personality was ace top notch.....and i let him go......it wasn't his looks that attracted me but he was everything a pretty boy would be.....but he just had that something special. that was what attracted me to him......i was young back then...have matured a little in knowing that my insecurities are mine......i deserve a good person who i am attracted to as well.....and i have that attraction that happened again I am a little surprised and i am still hesitant....but making steps......its not about my looks but me as a person i am more concerned about, a whole package deal....and the guy i like....is top notch..ace...to me...i respect him hence....snnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaails pace now......deb
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