church9832 Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 I have just realised that I care about others more than me to a dangerous extent I think. To the point of self blame? I think its my problem of being too nice. Its how I was conditioned to be since kindergarden and I think the pain of being nice is catching up to me. When I hurt someone, I do everything I can to fix it only to hurt them more. I wish I had the power to let go.
TaraMaiden Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Your wish is easily granted. Just focus more. Don't be a people pleaser for approval. I used to do this when I was young. Luckily for me, two friends pointed out what I was doing, and actually, it brought me up sharpish. There is no greater feeling of liberation than actually saying the word NO. The first time ever that you say it, will be the hardest thing you will have ever done. But I highly recommend it. After that - you gain such a perspective....
skydiveaddict Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 I think its my problem of being too nice. Yea, that's a sure way to end a romantic relationship fast. I learned that the hard way. But never again.
Author church9832 Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 Yea, that's a sure way to end a romantic relationship fast. I learned that the hard way. But never again. Yeah just recently happened to me. I never fought with her, she wishes I would fight with her but I can't. its not me. She broke up with me recently. Learnt it the hard way.
todreaminblue Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 I have just realised that I care about others more than me to a dangerous extent I think. To the point of self blame? I think its my problem of being too nice. Its how I was conditioned to be since kindergarden and I think the pain of being nice is catching up to me. When I hurt someone, I do everything I can to fix it only to hurt them more. I wish I had the power to let go. i used to get my ex telling me that i was too nice too people that i care too much abotu others that i should let them go even my own son needed to learn a harsh lesson when he was crying to me and in tears begging me to get him out which i did took a lot.....hundred fo phone calls letters of support and talkign to solicitors....supporting letters from family groups and therapy i had to do.....supporting letters from teh community.... because he was really bad but he was repentant and i had my non give up mentality and had faith in myheart i needed to do it....thats where caring comes from ....the heart i twoudl have been easy to give up on him....i would still probably be slogging away to save a relationship where my partner cheated on me and was having an affair i was put in hospital instead.....and i took the calls form my son in there and was still there for him......now he had to deal with the break up from the father figure he adored.....god guides the heart you know....and he guided me through that i nearly died sure......got pretty brutal....lethal actually for my sanity and will to live through it....no one on gods green earth can tell me to care less...put it together.... careless....... and then this sentence should come after..... responsibility towards duty of care to others ......and then to yourself...god handles this with your prayers your hope and your faith.....sorry to go all spiritual.....but its me.....and if you dont like my view.....i don't care....there ..i will always care where i am needed to care and wont when i am not needed to i have help deciding when to and when to not....deb
Author church9832 Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 i used to get my ex telling me that i was too nice too people that i care too much abotu others that i should let them go even my own son needed to learn a harsh lesson when he was crying to me and in tears begging me to get him out which i did took a lot.....hundred fo phone calls letters of support and talkign to solicitors....supporting letters from family groups and therapy i had to do.....supporting letters from teh community.... because he was really bad but he was repentant and i had my non give up mentality and had faith in myheart i needed to do it....thats where caring comes from ....the heart i twoudl have been easy to give up on him....i would still probably be slogging away to save a relationship where my partner cheated on me and was having an affair i was put in hospital instead.....and i took the calls form my son in there and was still there for him......now he had to deal with the break up from the father figure he adored.....god guides the heart you know....and he guided me through that i nearly died sure......got pretty brutal....lethal actually for my sanity and will to live through it....no one on gods green earth can tell me to care less...put it together.... careless....... and then this sentence should come after..... responsibility towards duty of care to others ......and then to yourself...god handles this with your prayers your hope and your faith.....sorry to go all spiritual.....but its me.....and if you dont like my view.....i don't care....there ..i will always care where i am needed to care and wont when i am not needed to i have help deciding when to and when to not....deb I'm a Catholic Man too. The pain is alot to take in for me, its just all new to me. Just getting through this has been tough and I think I made the wrong and right decision. My relationship with her was LDR and ended because most of the time it felt like we weren't a couple at all. Ended it with full understanding. But I booked a flight there so I though not to let it go to waste and to go to get closure. I cared too much about her, wanting to get closure so I wont hurt her anymore, I think I hurt her anyway.
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