HE rejected ME but can't bear the mention of my name in conversation?

[mariposa556]

Sorry this is so long--I tried to condense it but this was the best I could do

 

I dated a coworker nearly 2 yrs ago (yep, lesson learned). We saw each other for about 4 months.

 

We had some good times and he treated me very well for the most part, but there were some things that we didn't agree on. Neither of us wanted to give in at the time and once I was tired of fighting (fights that I usually started), I broke up with him.

 

He accepted the breakup but said he would work on some of the things that bothered me, and that maybe we could eventually get back together. In the meantime he wanted to stay friends, which we did for a few weeks, until we got into an argument over the phone. I flew off the handle at him and he tried to smooth things over because he didn't want me to be mad at him. The conversation ended on a friendly note but I didn't hear from him again after that, whereas before that he had been calling and texting me often. (Although we work for the same company he is rarely in the office so I didn't see him at work either.)

 

A couple of weeks passed and I realized I missed him. I felt that even though he wasn't perfect, there were a lot of great things about him that I didn't appreciate as much as I should have. I thought I had been way too hard on him and wanted to give things another try.

 

So I called him and told him this. He said he missed me too and really liked me, but felt we would never work out because we're too different. He told me he had reconnected with a woman he dated before me, and that he thought she was a better fit for him. He also acted angry with me because I came around too late and said he didn't want to hurt this woman a second time by dumping her for me (she has always been obsessed with him). His tone overall was cold but he again said that we would stay friends.

 

I was utterly heartbroken but accepted it and moved on. We had no more contact outside of work. From that time to this day, when I see him at work he has been friendly and even occasionally kind of flirty, but there has been an awkward undercurrent at times, which I expected.

 

We have never talked about anything personal, only work. I never did or said anything more to pursue him and have tried my best to act like nothing ever happened. I am friendly and polite but don't go out of my way to talk to him.

 

I haven't thought about him much for a long time. He is still with the same woman and I have been hoping to meet someone I really like but it hasn't happened yet.

 

My best friend, who also works with us, happens to be his sister-in-law. Her husband/his brother died a few years ago. When that happened, she bonded with my ex and they became close for a while. But after he and I broke up and he went back to his ex, they drifted apart. She was mad at him but never said anything to him about it. As far as I could tell they were still friendly, just no longer close.

 

Fast forward to today - She has a family function to attend and he will be there. She told me she dreads it because she feels very awkward around him. She said that anytime her relatives ask her what she's been up to, she naturally mentions my name because she spends a lot of time with me. She told me for the first time that he no longer talks to her much at all, and she feels it's because she talks about me. She said he acts very uncomfortable when my name comes up (and no, it doesn't sound like it's just when his gf is listening).

 

I was surprised by how much it hurt my feelings to hear this. Maybe I'm not as over him as I thought I was, but I just don't understand. I left him alone after he rejected me, I've been nice and friendly to him at work and he has been friendly back. And then I find out that he gets so offended when someone brings me up in conversation that he stops speaking to people who talk about me too often? Why?!?

 

If anyone was nice enough to read through all this and can shed any light, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you.