Loves End Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Hello, I do not know where to begin here, please have patience with me as I will attempt to share experiences and to describe events that become what they are today. A little info about me. I have three children (one from a previous relationship)(two from marriage). This child is with its mother. (as well as the other two are with my wife). I am paying child support for my first child. I have no issues with this, this is my responsibility . The relationship with my significant partner at the time ended when infidelity was an issue. This individual went out one evening, met up with a old guy friend, stayed the night. While this had happened, I placed my baby child to bed. I woke up the next morning early, only to find that my significant other was still away. Worried, I called my significant other. I asked, are you alright and where are you? I asked "when are you planning on coming home?" The response that I had received, " I was about to head home when you called". This was five-thirty in the morning. Needless to say, I felt a sting in the heart. The significant other and I felt that we would not be able to continue to be together anymore. Mind you, at the time when this occurrence began was when I became jobless for almost two years. Through all of this at the time, I was desperately trying to find another job, but it was difficult when I lost my job was during the financial collapse a few years back. I would not and could not take my son away from its mother. My son needed his mom. Disappointing this situation was, I would end up moving away to the other side of the country to find work. Stayed with a best friend who lived the other side of the country)( I am aware that the way this may appear, it would seem to appear as though I ran away from my child, but I had no other choice, I needed a place to stay, I needed a job to support my child). Anyways, now living on the other side of the country, working yet not making much money for traveling, I can only see my son via webcam. It has been three long excruciating years, unable to be in my son's life. I have missed the most important parts of his beginnings and feeling like a lousy person. Well as life would move on, I overcame my sorrows. One day, I met a wonderful person at work.(I broke the cardinal rule) We hung out, we became a couple, (things moved a little fast), I was about to become a parent to a beautiful child.(The significant partner and I became married). Honestly I married her because I was and still am in love with her. I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. Well I tried to do what was right. I moved out of my buddy's home to get a place of my own for her and our child. All the while not making much money. Still I did it. Things were fine for a while then the nightmare started. Yea, you may have guessed it, money...... nasty little word! I was trying to better myself through schooling and work long shifts at the same time. Well I failed at schooling. The fights lead to larger and larger arguments. The relationship was doomed. I tried to seek counseling for us. My wife did not want to go, She had indicated that it was for mental people. I guess I was alone on this. We fought badly the day after Christmas. I was furious and yet trying to remain rational, I simply stated that it was perhaps best if she would spend a day or two with her family so that we can clear our minds and to calm down. Well rumors flew abound at work, everyone she worked with supposedly knew our business. On the other hand I felt that it was a private matter. Received looks from others that she was friends with and strangers that I was a no good low down p.o.s.! I became angry at her for this, yet said nothing. I continued to do my job, I continued to make try to support my kids to the best that I could with the means that I have. She indicated to her family that I threw her and our child out. That was not the case here, I wanted for us to take a day or two to clear our heads and to calm down. The next thing I witnessed was her packing up and moving out. Through all of this, we had maintained a civil relationship. She eventually got her own place, moved out of her parents home. I wanted to work things out with her so that we can offer a sound environment for our kids. I did not want our kids to be in a broken environment. One day, in a conversation in a parking lot, she had indicated that she did not want to be with me anymore. She wanted a divorce. Meanwhile, I am broken and still in love with someone who does not want to be with me. Through time to present, I still go and help her with the kids, so that she can study since she is going to school. A few weeks ago, I noticed that her back was hurting, offered to spend the night there on the couch to help with the kids. Somewhere in our conversations, I asked the stupid question.... "do you still have any feelings for this guy?" No response at all. I left that night to go home. I was hurt inside. Have not spoke to her since. Meanwhile I have friends that mean well that would suggest meeting other ladies. Being married, I know better. First and foremost, Separated or not, I am still married. Truthfully, I cannot afford the divorce, second I have seen the divorce forms and those forms are vicious. I do not want to bad mouth my wife, I think that it is better just to end it peacefully and with dignity. Honestly the more I tried to work things out the worse it seemed to get. I do not want to try anymore. My feelings towards women are very negative right now. I understand that there may be good women out there, however with all of the things I have experienced, The women that I have been with only call when they want something. No calls of concern, no "hi and how are you, just plain nothing! I feel that I cannot trust anymore. I feel like a lot of women are bad mouthing guys and the ones that really try to make a difference are also screwed. I think its time to stop falling in love and become selfish I guess. I have never been married prior, my wife was the first to be committed. I have to honor her request for a divorce when I can get the funds together. I will refuse to marry ever again. I feel that marriage is not for me. I may also feel that dating is no longer an option. Thanks for reading this, and sorry for writing a book here.
Yasuandio Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 This is hard to read all in one paragraph like this. The story is also a little confusing. I suppose I need more information. Or - I missed something here. Do you believe there any hope with the latest marriage? Do you still love your latest wife? I'm confused about why that new relationship/marriage ended. How long did you date? How long have you been married, and separated? Did she file for the divorce? What sort of reasons is she giving? You have been married before, and have another child elsewhere, miles away. Are you supporting all your children?
Gunny376 Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 (edited) I do not know where to begin here, please have patience with me as I will attempt to share experiences and to describe events that become what they are today. A little info about me. I have three children (one from a previous relationship)(two from marriage). This child is with its mother. (as well as the other two are with my wife). I am paying child support for my first child. I have no issues with this, this is my responsibility . The relationship with my significant partner at the time ended when infidelity was an issue. This individual went out one evening, met up with a old guy friend, stayed the night. While this had happened, I placed my baby child to bed. I woke up the next morning early, only to find that my significant other was still away. Worried, I called my significant other. I asked, are you alright and where are you? I asked "when are you planning on coming home?" The response that I had received, " I was about to head home when you called". This was five-thirty in the morning. Needless to say, I felt a sting in the heart. The significant other and I felt that we would not be able to continue to be together anymore. Mind you, at the time when this occurrence began was when I became jobless for almost two years. Through all of this at the time, I was desperately trying to find another job, but it was difficult when I lost my job was during the financial collapse a few years back. I would not and could not take my son away from its mother. My son needed his mom. Disappointing this situation was, I would end up moving away to the other side of the country to find work. Stayed with a best friend who lived the other side of the country)( I am aware that the way this may appear, it would seem to appear as though I ran away from my child, but I had no other choice, I needed a place to stay, I needed a job to support my child). Anyways, now living on the other side of the country, working yet not making much money for traveling, I can only see my son via webcam. It has been three long excruciating years, unable to be in my son's life. I have missed the most important parts of his beginnings and feeling like a lousy person. Well as life would move on, I overcame my sorrows. One day, I met a wonderful person at work.(I broke the cardinal rule) We hung out, we became a couple, (things moved a little fast), I was about to become a parent to a beautiful child.(The significant partner and I became married). Honestly I married her because I was and still am in love with her. I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. Well I tried to do what was right. I moved out of my buddy's home to get a place of my own for her and our child. All the while not making much money. Still I did it. Things were fine for a while then the nightmare started. Yea, you may have guessed it, money...... nasty little word! I was trying to better myself through schooling and work long shifts at the same time. Well I failed at schooling. The fights lead to larger and larger arguments. The relationship was doomed. I tried to seek counseling for us. My wife did not want to go, She had indicated that it was for mental people. I guess I was alone on this. We fought badly the day after Christmas. I was furious and yet trying to remain rational, I simply stated that it was perhaps best if she would spend a day or two with her family so that we can clear our minds and to calm down. Well rumors flew abound at work, everyone she worked with supposedly knew our business. On the other hand I felt that it was a private matter. Received looks from others that she was friends with and strangers that I was a no good low down p.o.s.! I became angry at her for this, yet said nothing. I continued to do my job, I continued to make try to support my kids to the best that I could with the means that I have. She indicated to her family that I threw her and our child out. That was not the case here, I wanted for us to take a day or two to clear our heads and to calm down. The next thing I witnessed was her packing up and moving out. Through all of this, we had maintained a civil relationship. She eventually got her own place, moved out of her parents home. I wanted to work things out with her so that we can offer a sound environment for our kids. I did not want our kids to be in a broken environment. One day, in a conversation in a parking lot, she had indicated that she did not want to be with me anymore. She wanted a divorce. Meanwhile, I am broken and still in love with someone who does not want to be with me. Through time to present, I still go and help her with the kids, so that she can study since she is going to school. A few weeks ago, I noticed that her back was hurting, offered to spend the night there on the couch to help with the kids. Somewhere in our conversations, I asked the stupid question.... "do you still have any feelings for this guy?" No response at all. I left that night to go home. I was hurt inside. Have not spoke to her since. Meanwhile I have friends that mean well that would suggest meeting other ladies. Being married, I know better. First and foremost, Separated or not, I am still married. Truthfully, I cannot afford the divorce, second I have seen the divorce forms and those forms are vicious. I do not want to bad mouth my wife, I think that it is better just to end it peacefully and with dignity. Honestly the more I tried to work things out the worse it seemed to get. I do not want to try anymore. My feelings towards women are very negative right now. I understand that there may be good women out there, however with all of the things I have experienced, The women that I have been with only call when they want something. No calls of concern, no "hi and how are you, just plain nothing! I feel that I cannot trust anymore. I feel like a lot of women are bad mouthing guys and the ones that really try to make a difference are also screwed. I think its time to stop falling in love and become selfish I guess. I have never been married prior, my wife was the first to be committed. I have to honor her request for a divorce when I can get the funds together. I will refuse to marry ever again. I feel that marriage is not for me. I may also feel that dating is no longer an option. Thanks for reading this, and sorry for writing a book here. Just broke it up to try to make it easier to read ~ NO I'm by far! NOT a member of the grammar police! Edited September 22, 2012 by Gunny376
Yasuandio Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 So sorry, I'm dyslexic - and misread your some of your post. Please excuse me for asking irrelivent questions. Thank you Gunny, for spacing it out! Yas
Gunny376 Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 So sorry, I'm dyslexic - and misread your some of your post. Please excuse me for asking irrelivent questions. Thank you Gunny, for spacing it out! Yas I'm with you~! I can't spell worth spit! But I know how to put a 80mm motor round on you!
Yasuandio Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Gunny, you know my Daddy was from down South. He saw to it that Santa left me my first firearm (a 410-22 over/under) when I was just twelve years old. When I moved up to the Winchester 12 gauge, my Dad didn't like the way I was walking around with it, and slapped me to the ground (damn, the kickback was bad enough!). My old fashion Daddy taught me very well about pointing the gun "down" to the ground when not using it. I bet the Marines have a method of embedding such things into your mind real well too. If only we could apply such "bootcamp learning strategies" to our relationships.
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